[MBTI General] INFJ vs. INTJ

[mlittrell]

my mom is an INFJ and my dad is an INTJ.

its frightening.

now i cant pinpoint a certain type i do or do not get along with because your type isn't the only thing that defines you as person but in regards to my mother and father: my mom i get along with in a very unspoken way. i know how to compliment her without it being direct, which she seems to like because she has what i call "martyrdom syndrome". otherwise she tends to push me a lot to actually get things finished; it's helpful and then it isn't helpful. i tend to need encouragement not criticism. my dad and i just talk a lot and thats about it haha. we talk about current events and just whatever. but, he actually is my main source of encouragement. he will pinpoint my weaknesses but quickly tell me how to fix it and then point out my strengths and things ive gotten better in.

 

[Airius]

Could it be that he was just having a bad day?
Or have you noticed this as a common occurance?

 

[DigitalMethod]

For the most part, I have always gotten along with INTJs.

They're the only ones able to turn my thoughts into a coherent explanation.

I agree.
Here's my edit:

For the most part, I have always gotten along with INFJs.

They're the only ones able to turn my feelings into a coherent explanation.

 

[redacted]

I get along very well with INTJs; I hang out with 4+ of them regularly.

And yeah, it's a good point about possible miscommunication online; I find that I put much more weight on body language and tone than actual words in real life...

 

[batumi]

My son is an INTJ and 17. We are very close and understand each other well.
We have awesome conversations. I am probably easily able to deal with and/or
overlook his know-it-all times and sarcasm.

 

[Uytuun]

because it's really easy to interpret you guys the "wrong" way...

True.

 

[Penda]

A good share of my (few) friends are INTJs. I get along with them better than most, although they seriously piss me off some times. It sort of annoys me how they can be shockingly cruel at times, and I think they feel I am sometimes crazy and irrational.

 

[01011010]

I'm a T- and I despise rudeness, mainly because I was taught that diplomacy was the key to winning people over.

I don't have an opinion on people that are rude, but I do agree it's strategically to other's advantage to be the bare minimum of 'polite'.

Is politeness something that comes naturally to all people? Is it an inborn trait that people can either accept or refuse?

Some individuals want to please people, but the actual methods of being polite are typically taught at a young age.

 

[Haphazard]

Some individuals want to please people, but the actual methods of being polite are typically taught at a young age.

I must have missed the memo, then.

There are certain bare minimums to politeness that everyone has, true. But I'm not sticking around to get beaten with a ruler. Yes, politeness is a part of a strategy, but somebody shouldn't be absolutely despised for not automatically knowing somebody's politeness threshold. It's just a rationalization that lets them be offended.

 

[gloomy-optimist]

Heh, that's the thing; people aren't exactly always rational, especially when it comes to emotions and relations with other people. A lot of people view rudeness as a lack of respect; that's where the offense comes in.
So, if someone feels you don't respect them, they might get offended. And if you get defensive, that is, in a way, implying that you don't care about their own stand-point, opinions, emotions, etc...
It's not really a rationalization on the part of the person; a lot of people don't really pin-point why it actually upsets them.
Politeness helps avoid confrontation, and humility helps avoid conflict. The absence can be expected to cause some social friction...

 

[ed111]

Heh, that's the thing; people aren't exactly always rational, especially when it comes to emotions and relations with other people. A lot of people view rudeness as a lack of respect; that's where the offense comes in.
So, if someone feels you don't respect them, they might get offended. And if you get defensive, that is, in a way, implying that you don't care about their own stand-point, opinions, emotions, etc...
It's not really a rationalization on the part of the person; a lot of people don't really pin-point why it actually upsets them.
Politeness helps avoid confrontation, and humility helps avoid conflict. The absence can be expected to cause some social friction...

Rudeness is by definition a failure to behave within the context of a group's social laws or etiquette. I can assure you that there are rules of etiquette that you or anyone on this forum fail to abide by that would be considered rude 100 years ago or so.

People have a different set of rules depending on which strata of society they're from and which culture or religion they're from. The point being, there's little reason to get offended by other's perceived rudeness as it is generally not deliberate. I pity people that become vexed so by other's behaviour especially when the vexations are persnickety.

 

[gloomy-optimist]

Rudeness is by definition a failure to behave within the context of a group's social laws or etiquette. I can assure you that there are rules of etiquette that you or anyone on this forum fail to abide by that would be considered rude 100 years ago or so.

People have a different set of rules depending on which strata of society they're from and which culture or religion they're from. The point being, there's little reason to get offended by other's perceived rudeness as it is generally not deliberate. I pity people that become vexed so by other's behaviour especially when the vexations are persnickety.

That is definitely true
However, even if some people believe there is little point in getting offended over something like that, it still happens. The thing is, most people don't get deeply offended by rudeness if they are aware that that person doesn't know the rules, and they don't usually go over the top for little tidbits.
Most people are offended by rudeness that deviates from social norms because it can be insulting as well. For instance, some places in the world you can tell someone they look fat and not think too much of it. Go to the US and do that, and you might seriously hurt someone's feelings.

Even if it is pointless, sometimes it's also necessary. They may be a bunch of stupid rules, but there are many cases where it may be better just to abide by them to avoid conflict, bad relationships, or hurting someone's feelings.

 

[bai_lin83]

My INFJ tokwa can be really easygoing, very efficient, while being sensitive and loving. He just surrendered to me... just as I surrendered to him.
That's what I love about my INFJ tokwa.. INTJ guys can't give that love.. yep.. no other type.. I got one type that I love.. INFJ!
Some INTJ guys are nice.. but they just don't have the tokwa.

 

[Jess]

As an INTJ, I am still mildly surprised at the conversation here And the thoughts towards INTJ's. I get along with INFJ's quite well. Maybe it helps that I am a girl.

 

[wedekit]

I like having conversations with INTJs (and being friends with them, lol). Though I don't claim to get along with all of them (I'm sure maturity has a lot to do with; as it does with all types, really), I find that our thoughts and ideas can be very complementary. Ni is hard thing for me to conceptualize sometimes, but I seem to always find it mentally tangible when using examples from my conversations with INTJs.

 

[the state i am in]

they work well together. i think infj is a good type for intj to learn from and vice versa. the dominant Ni allows them to show the other what the Te or Fe is all about. they can learn how to communicate in a very sophisticated manner and recognize all of the nuances of expression in the other, when things keep going wrong.

 

[Chimerical]

INXJ is me.
When I'm sleep deprived I turn into this logical coldhearted asshole and say lots of mean things. If I'm wide awake I look out for everyone's best interest and neglect my own.

 

[Dwigie]

I tend to get along with anyone.
I don't like many people though...I just "bear" it. (I also realize this is likely reciprocal of course!) I do get along with NTs, especially NTJs because they don't beat around the bush and stay focused when they talk to you. I don't have to tip-toe 24/7, you can get "straight to business" with them. My ENFP sister is a serious "task" to me. I need to be careful about this and that and always kind of "laugh" about the problem so she takes it in consideration. She can't bear any kind criticism...
My NT brother on the other hand couldn't care less about "how" things were said. He just cared about the substance. He was actually quite considerate although not really polite. (He was oblivious to manners but not to feelings.)
If he offended someone and saw that he really did do some damage he would apologize to ease up the tension.
They're not all pricks and jerks. Just the few annoying ones on forums who take themselves too seriously.

 

[Kalach]

INTJs... team players.

Yup.

Mm-hm, uh-huh, yep. That's us.

*nod*

Yes.

Teams.

I like teams.