[INFJ] INFJ Mamas...

[RoRoRabbit]

Hi!

INFJ here and I have a 7 month old. Any other INFJ mamas out there? How do you balance in self-care? It seems my son seems to know when I just need a break, and thats when he decides he needs me the most. (i.e. I don't even try to think the word "bath," he almost always wakes up from a dead sleep if I do!).. I seem to be running on empty a lot lately and just wondering how to get out of this cycle!

Anyone?

 

[Madboot]

My wife in an INFJ and we have a seven year old boy. I know I had to tell her to go have some relax time quite often (often I still do). As an INFJ you are inclined to give of yourself to others you care about, and your child more than any other. Just don't be afraid to ask those you trust for help. No one is going to judge you or think you are a bad mother. That was some nonsense I had to get out my wife's head. It's ok to let someone give you a break. In fact it's necessary. And congratulations on your baby. Being a parent is the biggest challenge you have ever faced. But also completely awesome.

 

[ceecee]

Hi!

INFJ here and I have a 7 month old. Any other INFJ mamas out there? How do you balance in self-care? It seems my son seems to know when I just need a break, and thats when he decides he needs me the most. (i.e. I don't even try to think the word "bath," he almost always wakes up from a dead sleep if I do!).. I seem to be running on empty a lot lately and just wondering how to get out of this cycle!

Anyone?

I would start with his father.

 

[RoRoRabbit]

I would start with his father.

hahaha I'm sure you could find another post about him in the relationship section. He's a great dad but I try not to expect a ton from him. He will watch him when I ask (say, to take a bath) but will let my son cry the entire time (when my son is in a mood). Not very relaxing!! He doesn't always engage him or care for him the way I do (which is okay, he can do it his way, what I really mean, is he doesn't always put a ton of effort in). I have been trying to ask more and making him tough it out, but I just can't listen to the crying. I think it's partially Dad's fault for not putting enough effort in, and partially just because I have a real mama's boy on my hands.. Sometimes he just wants me. I do wish my SO would step up a little and make it easier for me to feel comfortable asking for help. In the beginning, Dad was great.. changed all the diapers, did all the things, had all the patience.. but lately (seasonal depression?) it's gotten hard! We have tried talking about it but we don't see eye to eye and there are other issues at play too. But maybe one day this weekend, I'll just leave the two of them alone to figure it out while I spend some time alone!!

 

[RoRoRabbit]

My wife in an INFJ and we have a seven year old boy. I know I had to tell her to go have some relax time quite often (often I still do). As an INFJ you are inclined to give of yourself to others you care about, and your child more than any other. Just don't be afraid to ask those you trust for help. No one is going to judge you or think you are a bad mother. That was some nonsense I had to get out my wife's head. It's ok to let someone give you a break. In fact it's necessary. And congratulations on your baby. Being a parent is the biggest challenge you have ever faced. But also completely awesome.

Thank you!! It is so rewarding most of the time. I have a real handful of a son, he is so fast and curious and smart! (Then again, they all are at this age, I'm sure) He exhausts me! I have to work on the asking for help thing.. Maybe I'll put more effort into that. I asked my MIL to watch him a few weeks ago because I thought she might want to see him, not because I wanted/needed her to watch him.. lol.. But yes, a real challenge!! You sound like a great dad/husband.. Your wife is lucky.

 

[Madboot]

Thank you!! It is so rewarding most of the time. I have a real handful of a son, he is so fast and curious and smart! (Then again, they all are at this age, I'm sure) He exhausts me! I have to work on the asking for help thing.. Maybe I'll put more effort into that. I asked my MIL to watch him a few weeks ago because I thought she might want to see him, not because I wanted/needed her to watch him.. lol.. But yes, a real challenge!! You sound like a great dad/husband.. Your wife is lucky.

Thank you. I try very hard to be good at both. INTJ's are known to be emotionally reserved, and I have worked very hard at being more comfortable with my emotions. I don't want either my wife or son to ever feel unloved. I have the feeling you are, and will continue to be, a great mother.

 

[Snow as White]

Hi!

INFJ here and I have a 7 month old. Any other INFJ mamas out there? How do you balance in self-care? It seems my son seems to know when I just need a break, and thats when he decides he needs me the most. (i.e. I don't even try to think the word "bath," he almost always wakes up from a dead sleep if I do!).. I seem to be running on empty a lot lately and just wondering how to get out of this cycle!

Anyone?

not an INFJ nor a mama but my BFF is both and I get to see up close and personal her ups and downs.

she's a single mama and her son has some developmental issues. and she ensures that he gets any and everything she can think of to make his life better. for herself though, she is always dead last to any large and small need that he needs.

What I've found helps her best is being the selfish voice in her ear saying, take a break and go do things. I encourage her to spend money on herself and point out that a $20 makeup purchase that will help lift up her spirits isn't going to cause him to go without food or clothing... like ever... so just do it already. and also shutting down her ability to future problem solve the million things that can go wrong and remind her of how many ways things can go right.


so i would encourage you to reach out to family and friends that you trust with requests to help alleviate the stress. you will be a better caretaker the better you feel about you. i'd also suggest finding tiny ways to pamper yourself with makeup or your favorite scented candles, etc... just small things that you can be reminded of multiple times a day/week.

and if you want to rant, the internet is here for you.