[INFJ] Life of an Contradicting/Enigmatic INFJ?

[mickey1955]

Why is it that us INFJ's are simultaneously juggling the life of a muse and an underdog at the same time? People are either overtly inspired by us or overlook our capabilities. It seems like there's no in between regarding the general public's view on us. Feels like hopping on and off of a pedestal and fading into an abyss when involved with social logistics. Also is it just me or that we are susceptible to becoming gimmicks whenever we impress people? Like we give off an intense, mysterious vibe from our introvert intuition function. Therefore people are generally intimidated by us and perceive us as this forbidden fruit that shouldn't be tampered with but can viewed all day; referring to the fact that we aren't exactly considered the life of the party from a social standpoint but people look up to us as an inspiration. Worst and best thing to realize is that being a gimmick also means people being amused by our abilities can sometimes derive from the fact that they pitied us from an earlier impression. We may not be the most glamorous on the surface, but we sure do have a hell load of substance. We wanna be taken seriously but we also feel the need to prove others wrong, including ourselves; it's what we do best.

 

[Fidelia]

There's a good video on the forum here about why infjs sometimes get overlooked socially. Not everyone loves the guy doing the video but he makes some good points.

As for the pedestal thing, I believe that is partially our fault because we don't often give people a sufficient enough flavour and adapt to fit situations enough that people can project wildly different beliefs of who we are without encountering enough to contradict them. As I've gotten older, I've had to make a conscious effort to express my preferences and opinions more than I naturally would and to be more judicious about being a listening ear to just anyone. I realized that I also wasn't sufficiently proactive in choosing friends etc, which then left me open to only choosing from the generally needy, socially odd or domineering people that came my way. Also I found that a significant number of people who generally are emotionally closed found it easy to talk to me and so ride on the wave of exhuberence that came with feeling more emotionally open but often reverted back to their usual modes of relating after the initial rush.

 

[Froody Blue Gem]

I am not exactly a "muse" or "mystical" in any way. I do like to think I'm insightful in my own ways though but I have a long ways to go in many other areas. We all have our good days and bad days. xD Underdog certainly fits more, being I'm awkward around people and have trouble fitting in many places and I want to understand others but often reach my limit and implode or get close to doing so. There are also many sides to my personality and it takes a lot of digging.

I do like it when I can be helpful but I prefer to keep in the background. I have been described as "mysterious" on some occasions but I guess it's more or less social anxiety and being on the quiet side. My fe often wants to blend in within group situations and I am more of a listener than a big talker.