[ENFP] When you feel like you don't belong

[HedgeHogPiggy]

Hey everyone,

Im a new member but have been reading posts on here for years and would really appreciate some input as to what Im going through.

So to preface I have an internship over the summer in a new state and did not know anyone here. The internship has many other interns and all of them are from this area except one.

As an ENFP I feel like Im used to getting along with most people Im around. But these people are very very different from what Im used to. I can genuinely say I love everyone of the interns but at the same time I don't feel like Im super close with any of them yet.

Like most ENFPs I love deep conversations and I feel like here they arent super interested in it. On weekend one we went to one of the guys houses and i convinced them to drink and look up deep questions on the internet, and we all had a lot of fun. But like since then 85% of the time the guys are only talking about videos on the internet and video games.

Another issue I have is how disrespectful I feel they are towards my values. Im a Christian and Im totally ok with people having other world views but they say very often how stupid it is to believe what I believe and try to get me to change my mind.

Lastly, Im pretty sure theyre mostly joking but two of them talk about how stupid I am. I talk and joke around about the dumb things that I do but idk i just feel like it can be excessive at times.

Idk tho I just feel like I dont belong and today Im feeling really down about it.

Any NF support?

 

[Luminous]

Hi, Hedge. Congratulations on your first posting!

It sounds like the people you're working with are quite immature and rude. You could try to explain to them you aren't interested in debating your beliefs, they can have their beliefs and you have yours and you'd rather agree to disagree. But if they really are that immature, they may not give up on it. In that case, I'd just ignore them. Just refuse to talk about it. Also, if they are doing this at work, it's completely inappropriate, and you could talk to a boss about it.

It's a summer internship and you're likely not to get super close to any of them. And perhaps that's better, considering that they don't sound like very nice people anyway?

 

[wallflour]

Aww, you sound very likable and it's sad not everyone can appreciate different types of people... I have trouble fitting in in most places. Right now, I only get along with one coworker and he's often the "clown" or the person people made fun of for laughs because of how different he is. One other coworker keeps stating how much he doesn't like him, and I hear others expressing disapproval toward him behind his back. What's impressive about this coworker though is that he doesn't let this affect him and he even enjoys being the maverick. What he said was that perception is power, so you choose how others make you feel. Whenever you feel down, try to remind yourself this is only a temporary situation and that there are many people who can appreciate you. Don't let them get to you and just be you! Summer will be over soon, and you can see this as just a new social experience to overcome. Possibly an experience to exercise self-compassion and self-integrity. Just be you and don't be sorry about it. Don't let those who are disrespectful and unkind have power over you.

 

[Agent Washington]

Well, people can be misguided based on surface things, and in order to fit in with everyone sometimes it is necessary to seem dumb. This unfortunately gives off the impression that that's all to you,because people only read the surface and think that's all there is to it.

 

[AStrange~Nostalgia]

I can understand this very well ; I live in this community and unfortunately there isn't much you can do to change their mind easily. However ,you need to make them respect you , people treat you the way you allow them to.for example, as an ENFJ I have strict rules and believe , and with most people they seem to be aware of that and always trying not to invade that

I know you're into fun and friends , but be serious about the disrespect issue and if some one called you dump for an action , tell them they're dump too because thet did similar thing too .If they were offended by your 'jock' then they weren't joking . The important thing is to do all of that infront of the same ususal crowd. And reveal their bad intentions or immaturity , and then people won't underestimate you and they will respact you.

But as for religion don't try attacking their believes . This is NOT how you solve it .
Just say you dont like discussing , to the people who disrespect you.

And be nice like yourself , don't attack people cause they did so! That's how you get better friendships.