[ENFJ] How do ENFJ's deal with being dissapointed?

[nynesneg]

At first I was a bit suprised, I didn't think I'd relate to this thread at all. I don't feel "disappointed" in any specific people per say. More just a sad frustration initially then acceptence that "that's just how they are". But as I read on...

...not being able to find anyone that has the want to know what is going on with me. I think ENFJ�s might seem like they are independent ad strong willed and therefore no one worries about them. What I think we really want is for someone to admire all of those things that make us ENFJ, to covet that, and to want to know all about us.

Described it to a tee...

I also have high expectations ...Although I tend to not see this as a negative thing, but rather that I would be disrepecting myself if I didn't expect someone to act as thoughtfully toward me as I would toward them. Similarly I expect my friends to show up when they say they will, etc. I am understanding and patient, but if I am disappointed too many times I pretend to build a wall and block those people out.

Surprisingly accurate. I don't see myself as having high expectation. Nor do I see myself as being easily disappointed... I tend to get disappointed then digest my feelings after several days and you just learn "that's how that person is" and I'm back to my happy-go-lucky self. You can't depend on them for those needs. I've had to work with this particularly with quite a few xSxPs friends I see every day. So I guess I do build somewhat of a wall, while still keeping our friendship on a surface level in other areas. This leaves me feeling pretty misunderstood at the end of the day, but that's normal. Interesting.

 

[Malkavia]

Every dynamic is interesting

and whats your favorite dynamic? Which ones do you think are the best?

 

[Neutralpov]

good thread

At first I was a bit suprised, I didn't think I'd relate to this thread at all. I don't feel "disappointed" in any specific people per say. More just a sad frustration initially then acceptence that "that's just how they are". But as I read on...


Described it to a tee...


Surprisingly accurate. I don't see myself as having high expectation. Nor do I see myself as being easily disappointed... I tend to get disappointed then digest my feelings after several days and you just learn "that's how that person is" and I'm back to my happy-go-lucky self. You can't depend on them for those needs. I've had to work with this particularly with quite a few xSxPs friends I see every day. So I guess I do build somewhat of a wall, while still keeping our friendship on a surface level in other areas. This leaves me feeling pretty misunderstood at the end of the day, but that's normal. Interesting.

This is such a good thread I hope it can be revived! The above quote was dead-on IMO.

 

[Ethelred the Unready]

This is such a good thread I hope it can be revived!

No sooner said than done

Seriously though, I don't know about others but I deal with dissapointment rather badly. I try to be as helpful and caring towards people as I can and I always assume - not expect, but assume - that others will do the same for me. I think well about 99% of people I come into contact with and again I assume they'll think well about me. I suppose this sounds like I live in some kind of a 'bubble of happiness' and not in the real word...but I just like people and think everyone is the same.

I have problems even supposing that other people 9that I know) can be mean or think bad of others. When I realize that it could be the case, or if someone behaves towards me in a manner that makes me change my mind about them - I'm usually devastated. It really hurts me, leaves me bewildered and dissapointed. And my way of dealing with this is no way at all - if someone hurts me I pretend it's not a problem, then go home, cry like crazy, feel like s**t and then try to stay away from that person as much as possible.

Gosh I'm a sad thing