[INFJ] INFP About to die of a broken heart; Need INFJ help to understand this girl Please

[Luminous]

I'm so sorry, Excitant. I wish I could give you a real hug.

 

[Excitant]

Im really sorry to hear of this situation. I dont think she is necessarily intentionally being cruel though, she is just uncertain. Sometimes when a new relationship begins I think there can be a bit of a honeymoon period- nothing is nailed down and both sides are just seeing where things are going without having to commit. The fact that shes pulling away right now probably means that she IS taking this relationship seriously now and is considering how far she would like things to go. I understand that it might be painful to continue to still be her friend during this time, but if you DO want a chance to work things out with her... I would give her a little bit of time to get her head wrapped around the commitment.

Right now though... Im really sorry to hear you are hurt. Im not trying to take anything away from that. Take care of yourself and your feelings right now- because they ARE important. Then you can decide what you might further like to do.

Oh I don't think she is being cruel either. I agree she is uncertain.

It's just cruel irony that the one with the feelings that aren't so easily let go of is the one being hurt and the one who has this ability to turn her emotions and feeling off like a light switch is the one who is unintentionally causing the pain.

I'll try to keep in touch for sure but I'm just not able to transition into a "friend" At least not for a long while

 

[Population: 1]

It doesn’t mean she’s not hurting but for whatever reason she’s decided this needs to be her course. And it is heartbreaking for you and it will be for a while. I’m sorry that’s how it played out and not much of anything will soften that blow right now. I’m sure everyone here has endured something like this and in doing so we know no one can truly know your particular pain. Everyone is unique and every experience is too. You’ll have your own pace walking through this, everyone does.

 

[Excitant]

It doesn’t mean she’s not hurting but for whatever reason she’s decided this needs to be her course. And it is heartbreaking for you and it will be for a while. I’m sorry that’s how it played out and not much of anything will soften that blow right now. I’m sure everyone here has endured something like this and in doing so we know no one can truly know your particular pain. Everyone is unique and every experience is too. You’ll have your own pace walking through this, everyone does.

True. It just feels that way I guess. She is just better at concealing her emotions and I tend to radiate mine out into the world

 

[Forever_Jung]

it was friendly advice. If you want him to suffer, go ahead and make him wallow.

I know you didn't mean to be negative, but let people have their feelings. Think of how many emotionally distraught (no offence) personal posts you have made over the years. We'e you looking for that kind of response at the time?

I guess maybe you are offering the advice you wish you had gotten at the time.

ETA: AND I see the OP is mostly fine with it. So ignore me, sorry.

 

[Firebird 8118]

[MENTION=36950]Excitant[/MENTION] I know that feeling all too well I'm so sorry brother...

Here's something that has helped me, I hope it might help you too:

It's okay to feel the pain right now. Simply accept it for what it is, and then slowly ease yourself through the heartache until it passes on its own. You don't have to force yourself to be happy, or "fake it 'til you make it". Just let your emotions flow and transition like a river, and (as hard as it may seem at first) try shifting your focus towards a hobby or anything you love doing for a little while.

Either she will return to you and everything will work out that way, or you will eventually feel better on your own. But either way, taking care of your own emotional needs is most important here.