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[NF] NFs: what makes you angry?

Neo Genesis

New member
Joined
Oct 7, 2008
Messages
322
MBTI Type
InFp
Enneagram
4w5
So I know that there's already a general thread in the Bonfire section, but I'm interested in what angers the NF personas specifically. Also, note that I'm talking about personality/ideological differences, not specific incidences. So...

1) What makes you angry?

2) Do you get angry often?

3) How do you deal with the problem?

4) How quick are you to resolve this emotion?

5) When you get angry, are your friends and family generally surprised at the content that makes you so?

If there are any other questions that you would like to ask, feel free, as long as it remains on topic.
 

Neo Genesis

New member
Joined
Oct 7, 2008
Messages
322
MBTI Type
InFp
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4w5
Time to answer my own questions.

1) Typically arrogance. Even when the intention is humurous, I still hate it, but at least then I can put up with it for a while.

More often than not, I get mad at myself for falling short of my expectations.

2) Not really. I try my best to avoid arrogant personalities, so its not that big of a problem. With myself its more common, but I get over it easier by pushing myself past my failures.

3) Displacement.

4) This is my problem. I never seem to let things go easily, if at all. I'm still beating myself up for things I did 15 years ago. With other people, I can at least put a mask on to remain civil with them.

5) Yep.
 

lindsay5889

New member
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
9
MBTI Type
INFP
1) What makes you angry?

Cockiness is probably the worst. Second is when people use an innocent person to get revenge on another person, or hurt a random person to benefit themselves (Like if someone is obsessed with gossiping, and constantly promotes rumors to increase their own popularity). People who disregard other's feelings. People who don't feel guilty for hurting others, animals, or any type of thing. People who won't accept responsibility for their actions/constantly blame others for them/don't accept punishment. Hypocrisy.

Sorry that's kind of a lot, but something that doesn't really bother me is lying.

2) Do you get angry often?
When I was younger, I was a tyrant. I got mad at anyone who crossed me/did some small thing I thought was wrong. I was very easily frustrated. Now I don't really get mad at my friends, because I don't want them to get mad at me/talk behind my back. And I'm not that easily angry or frustrated, everyone tells me I'm really calm. But I fight with my mom constantly/am angry at her constantly, and my best friend I do fight with occasionally.

3) How do you deal with the problem?
When I'm angry? I'll read, stop talking to whoever made me mad, try to go to sleep, play with my dogs, or just pace around and fume. Occasionally I'll get mad at whatever made me angry. After I'm not as angry, I'll just get this like huge urge to write. So I do.

4) How quick are you to resolve this emotion?
Not quick, when I'm really mad at someone I will be mad for days. And they are usually shocked at how mad I am. Because I hold in little things they do that I notice all the time, and I never get mad at them. But eventually I might crack and it all comes out and they end up really hurt and shocked that I have such a temper, and that I'm mad at them about so many things.

And the same that the person above me said, I'm still mad at myself/feeling guilty for things I did years and months ago.

5) When you get angry, are your friends and family generally surprised at the content that makes you so?
Yeah, but normally only at how long I've held the grudge for some of the stuff - because I just randomly explode with all the things they've ever done that made me mad.
 

RiderOnTheStorm

E. N.. T... :P
Joined
Aug 25, 2008
Messages
792
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so

1) What makes you angry?


Arrogance for the most part. Not so much when it's directed at someone that deserves it :devil: Rapists, domestic abusers, animal abusers, racism off the top of my head.

2) Do you get angry often?

Not often at all. It takes a lot to get me to that point.

3) How do you deal with the problem?

I will either:

A) Explode and say things I don't mean.
B) (Most Likely) Talk it out.

Edit*
C) (rare) I will do nothing and secretly loathe every breath you take...

4) How quick are you to resolve this emotion?


Anywhere from immediately to an hour depending on how pissed I am. I hate letting things bother me for extended period of time.

5) When you get angry, are your friends and family generally surprised at the content that makes you so?

No. It is usually obvious.
 
Last edited:

sade

New member
Joined
Aug 23, 2008
Messages
761
What makes you angry?
Being moralized about something, especially when the other person claims their morals to be the right ones.
Arrogance.
Being talk down to.
People who don't even try to take responsability for their actions.
Manipulation and hurting other people for someone's own good.
Not even trying to concider others.
When people try to make me do things because they are "for my own good", when I know that NO they aren't, but I can't really answer back.

Do you get angry often?
Rarely. I do get annoyed pretty often. Sometimes that's worse.

How do you deal with the problem?
a) Seethe quietly and get passive-aggressive.
b) Try to reason it out. Or try to ignore it.
c) Construct a long calm logical response. Aka you are wrong. Period. This is a warning. Next I'll rip you apart and am now quietly awaiting for you to give me justification to do that, to be morally allowed to do that. Go on. :devil: (At this point the people who know me have noticed the warning sings and try to drag me away even though I'd like to stay and start ripping the other person mentally apart.)
d) Completely explode.

How quick are you to resolve this emotion?
Sometimes quickly, but if it continues I will be seething for a loooong time. At worst I'm angry about something that has happened about 15 years ago.

When you get angry, are your friends and family generally surprised at the content that makes you so?
Family (not including father) and best friend + two close friends aren't usually surprised, there are times when they look at me baffled though. Everyone else, also some other friends: yes, absolutely.
 

Clover

New member
Joined
Jan 31, 2008
Messages
131
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
I really never get angry... Just annoyed.
 

Kyrielle

New member
Joined
Apr 26, 2007
Messages
1,294
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
1) What makes you angry?

Arrogance and ignorance. Undue stress caused by something I've been working on getting ruined, destroyed, or deleted unintentionally/accidentally where I must then redo my many hours of work and find the result isn't the same and sometimes isn't as good.

2) Do you get angry often?

No.

3) How do you deal with the problem?

Get pissed. Throw a couple of things. Sit down. Then breathe, laugh, and carry on with solving the problem.

4) How quick are you to resolve this emotion?

I'm fine in an hour or two at most.

5) When you get angry, are your friends and family generally surprised at the content that makes you so?

Yes. Probably because I don't look like the kind of person whose temper can be explosive when its reached its limit. I don't give too much warning either...I just...blow up when I've had it.
 

Lizzy1813

New member
Joined
Sep 20, 2008
Messages
37
MBTI Type
ENFP
1) What makes you angry?

People obsessing over things of no true importance. Stressing over things of little importance. Lack of communication. Ignorance and Arrogance (as I think everyone's covered). People who criticise others without any basis or background for their idle words...esp. when it's to make fun of someone!!!!

2) Do you get angry often?

Mildly yes. Intense?...the world couldn't survive many of these...

3) How do you deal with the problem?

Through confrontation or yelling or some form of physical exertation...could include walking extremely hard, punching (pillow or person), crying into an innocent pillow, etc. :angry: :azdaja: :duel:

4) How quick are you to resolve this emotion?

Depends on the person. My mother has a bad habit of being nice to me when I'm angry at her, and how can I stay angry when she's asking me if I'd like a grilled cheese sandwich? Others, I can fume at longer than I care to recall...

5) When you get angry, are your friends and family generally surprised at the content that makes you so?


My family of SJ parents and two brothers (NT and SP) don't understand me at all. When I'm upset about something, they usually can't comprehend why I'm "obsessing" over it...that is, if they notice I'm upset at all. My best friend (INFP) is a complete life saver! I vent about little things, and she understands! I wish the world was the same!
 

Dwigie

New member
Joined
Aug 25, 2008
Messages
658
MBTI Type
INFP
What makes you angry?
- Cruelty
- Abuse
- Manipulation
- Deceit
- Injustice
- Intolerance
do you get angry often?
- Not "angry", moody and childish yes(defensive)
How do you deal with the problem?
- I wait until it's unbearable and ask the person who is responsible if it's his or her fault to work through it with me.
or- Cut them off from my life if the problem persists.(ahem, grudge-holder)
4) I usually resolve it once it's aired out it's gone but it actually exhausts me emotionally and physically...arguments are tiring in both senses. I HATE conflict...if I've never been able to process it it becomes a very nasty and obsessive deep hatred towards an individual who will probably never have another chance.If I hate you it's usually forever(but you gotta be a real jerk)
5) Yes, often it's actually "none of my business" I don't air out that much deep anger towards others to my closed ones but little rants are quite frequent. Actually I get more angry when something happens to my closed ones than when it happens to me. I usually am more sad than angry, I spent my anger during 6th-9th grade :p.
 

kyuuei

Emperor/Dictator
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
13,964
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enfp
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8
1) What makes you angry?
This list could take up a whole'nother thread. XD Arrogance is a big trend it seems, and I must agree. I also hate bad drivers (aka anyone except me.)

2) Do you get angry often?
I do actually.. TRUE anger, that gut-wrenching, turning red, seething adrenaline anger that makes your head hurt when it's all done with though.. Hardly ever. I get pissed easily, I should say..

3) How do you deal with the problem?
^_^;; usually I get over things just as soon as I'm angry with them. It's not hard for either side of the coin with me.. but generally, either I just shout outright what I think and try to fix it right then, and if it's not worth that then usually nothing.

4) How quick are you to resolve this emotion?
.. XD I suppose I Should have read the questions before I started answering lol. Tend to be just as quick as they started.

5) When you get angry, are your friends and family generally surprised at the content that makes you so?
Hm.. It doesn't seem that way. Mayhap because they already know me, and realize that such things have always enraged me? Very few times to I NEED to explain my anger, even though I do everytime anyways.
 

Anja

New member
Joined
May 2, 2008
Messages
2,967
MBTI Type
INFP
So I know that there's already a general thread in the Bonfire section, but I'm interested in what angers the NF personas specifically. Also, note that I'm talking about personality/ideological differences, not specific incidences. So...

1) What makes you angry?

2) Do you get angry often?

3) How do you deal with the problem?

4) How quick are you to resolve this emotion?

5) When you get angry, are your friends and family generally surprised at the content that makes you so?

If there are any other questions that you would like to ask, feel free, as long as it remains on topic.

1) Social injustice, cruelty

2) I get angry when I make a mistake. I get angry when my memory fails me. I get angry when I accidently hurt myself. I like to think of my anger regarding other people as optional and a choice I consciously make. That keeps the "You made me angry" stuff to a minumum and helps me feel in control of my own emotions.

3) I recognize that no one can control my feelings but I and then I use whatever tehnique will work to deal with it. I try to avoid quick fixes.

4) Some issues have taken a long time and are still in process. (This winter I finally released a thirty-three year-old resentment. Yay! Freedom at last.) The day-to-day stuff can be dealt with within an afternoon or so.

5) No, I think I'm fairly predictable to friends and family.

A comment: I spend a long time being frightened of my anger. I would stuff it and periodically explode, dumping it indescriminately on anyone in my path. After years of storing bits and pieces when it finally came out it would be huge and unpredictable. Fear of it was most appropriate. Glass broke and things got broken and like that. Worse yet, relationships were damaged in moments.

I am still cautious when I feel my anger rising and have found that inane old "count to ten" advice to be valuable. I will literally say to my self, "Stop and think, Anja, before you speak." Best advice I ever gave myself!
 

mlittrell

New member
Joined
Sep 3, 2008
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1,387
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ENFP
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9w1
1) people who automatically assume they are right in a subject they know near to nothing about. narrow mindedness i suppose you could say. not taking all possibilities into account

2) very very rarely

3) let go. i just take a deep breath and 5 minutes later im fine

4) ^ 5 minutes at the absolute latest

5) theyve never seen me really angry
 

Leysing

New member
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Mar 21, 2008
Messages
309
MBTI Type
FiSi
I don't get angry. I get sad or upset or annoyed, but not angry. (Random, stressful incidents make an exception... ESTJ shadow.)
 

Bubbleboy

New member
Joined
Oct 30, 2009
Messages
116
MBTI Type
ENFP
1) What makes you angry?
Ignorance and indifference.

2) Do you get angry often?
Yes, but less as I get older. Some anger is replaced with pity nowadays.

3) How do you deal with the problem?
Try and forgive people for just being human.

4) How quick are you to resolve this emotion?
Depends, but I never hold grudges.

5) When you get angry, are your friends and family generally surprised at the content that makes you so?
Most times, yes.
 

bronson

New member
Joined
Nov 2, 2009
Messages
93
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
3w4
1) What makes you angry?
Obviously there are many triggers, and different types of anger.

A) Petty anger - Someone says or does something small that seems irrational to everyone else but I just crack it - like not cleaning the kitchen after you've used it! Farout, not that hard.

B) Self-defensive anger Mainly when someone undermines my values or who I believe myself to be. As in - How dare you surmise who I am in such a way, you have no idea.

C) Righteous anger Pretty much the root of my social justice element. There are many wrongs in society that must be righted.

D) Willful anger I know that I'm right, and I know that you're wrong; so shutup. Also, when someone simply crosses a plan that I've made!!! Annoying.


2) Do you get angry often?
No, not really.


3) How do you deal with the problem?
Internally boil, or vent. I'm a verbally aggressive kinda guy. haha


4) How quick are you to resolve this emotion?
Depends entirely on the circumstance and continuity of the situation which originally triggered my response.


5) When you get angry, are your friends and family generally surprised at the content that makes you so?
When it comes to A) and D) I think they've learned, and they know what triggers what.

But with B) and C) I think its often a case of - I didn't know you felt that way.


Man, I feel so angry after writing this post :)
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
14,036
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
496
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
An unfair fight makes me angry. When people gang up on someone and use more force than is needed to punish them, or when someone particularly strong in an area uses it to squash someone with much less power. I think it is decrepit cowardice beneath a guise of external dominance. If it helps a situation to go after such a person, I will.
 

Snuggletron

Reptilian
Joined
Sep 25, 2009
Messages
2,224
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
10
1) What makes you angry?
kittens in blenders

2) Do you get angry often?
not really, as long as I can avoid seeing kittens in blenders

3) How do you deal with the problem?
unplug the blender, kill the person who put the kitten in the blender

4) How quick are you to resolve this emotion?
depends on how long it takes the person to die

5) When you get angry, are your friends and family generally surprised at the content that makes you so?
no, I hide it all within and listen to linkin park
 

Charmed Justice

Nickle Iron Silicone
Joined
Jul 22, 2009
Messages
2,805
MBTI Type
INFJ
1) What makes you angry? A consistent unwillingness to hear me out, overt intolerance, cruelty(psychological or physical), indifference to the pain of others, being stonewalled(#1)

2) Do you get angry often?
Not at all, generally. I think I've been angry once in 15 years with one of my closest friends, and never at all in 20 years with another best friend. Frustrated, yes. Angry, no. I don't really even get that frustrated with other close friends. If I get somewhat annoyed, I just retreat for awhile and then show up again when I'm feeling more balanced.

3) How do you deal with the problem?By trying to communicate my understanding of the problem, see the other person's side, and come to something of a consensus or mutual understanding/resolution.

4) How quick are you to resolve this emotion?Depends on the extent of the issue. It takes me a long time to really get angry, so once I'm there, it might take some work.

5) When you get angry, are your friends and family generally surprised at the content that makes you so? Not at all. They usually wonder what took me so long.
 

Tiltyred

New member
Joined
Dec 1, 2008
Messages
4,322
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
468
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
1) What makes you angry?
People who take advantage of people who are weaker than they are.

2) Do you get angry often?
Yes

3) How do you deal with the problem?
I get away from it if possible. If that's not possible, I stew. Over time, I will say something. But once I've said something, it's impossible for me to shut up about it, so I try not to let it get to that point.

4) How quick are you to resolve this emotion?
It's not resolvable. I live with it. I work on it by trying to find the bright side.

5) When you get angry, are your friends and family generally surprised at the content that makes you so?
Yes. People don't ever seem to know why I'm angry. Once I explain it, it makes sense. But it's ... as a good friend said to me, "You're always coming up with some weird shit."
 
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