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  1. #1
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    Default Do opposites attract?

    I'm an istp man and NF women are attractive to me. I'm new to this forum and I think I'd rather hang out in the NF section. I think you guys are pretty cool
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  2. #2
    AKA Nunki Polaris's Avatar
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    Studies have shown that people tend to be attracted to those who are similar to them in the area of values, vocations, and attitudes. When it comes to personality in a broader sense, I'm not so sure whether opposites do or don't tend to attract. I do know that I often have particularly good chemistry with people who are more on the sanguine and choleric side of the spectrum than my phlegmatic and melancholy self is. But I could be an anomaly in that regard.
    [ Ni > Ti > Fe > Fi > Ne > Te > Si > Se ][ 4w5 sp/sx ][ RLOAI ][ IEI-Ni ]
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  3. #3
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    I would never date a girl who fit the stereotype of an ESTJ or ESFJ. Those are my least 2 favorite kinds of people.
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  4. #4
    Senior Member great_bay's Avatar
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    I always believed that people are into those who have their first function but in an inverse order. For instance, INTJ are drawn into ENFP because ENFP use Ne which is the inverse of Ni.
    5w4,4w5,1

    The Researcher
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  5. #5
    Inmost Sage Excitant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chantilly24 View Post
    I would never date a girl who fit the stereotype of an ESTJ or ESFJ. Those are my least 2 favorite kinds of people.
    Don't do it!!!!

    I'm an INFP Male who spent 6 years with an ESFJ Female and it was the most intense passionate relationship I ever had.... But at the same time it was also the worst most troubled and toxic relationship I ever had in my life. It royally screwed me up and confused me about my identity.

    She appeared from my prospective as narcissistic and as an INFP I mirrored her behavior back; in the long run it just made me out to be the bad guy. It was utterly abrasive to my soul and well being but I dove into it because it was SO passionate at the beginning.

    I would still be her friend though. Maybe... Lol
    "There are chords in the hearts of the most reckless
    which cannot be touched without emotion. Even the
    utterly lost, to whom life and death are equally jests,
    there are matters of which no jest can be made."

    - The Masque of the Red Death

    Fi>Fe>Ne>Ni=Se>Si>Ti>Te

    This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, As the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man

  6. #6
    Absurdus Malum Icedream's Avatar
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    NFs are naturally attractive. The real trick is getting mutual chemistry.
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  7. #7
    Junior Member MissNeolithic's Avatar
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    Opposites can often be attractive on a superficial level and at a distance, the tricky part is the forming of a deeper connection.
    Reaching a point where both parties are satisfied and have their needs met in terms of intimacy, affection, lifestyle and distance/ space (especially for IXTX or just introverts generally), can become a real problem for opposites, for instance between an ESFJ and INTP.
    I personally, while I might find ESTPs outgoingness and spontaneous charm attractive from afar would be a little hesitant to start a relationship with one, unless I found we had similar core values, lifegoals and could compromise.
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  8. #8
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    I hate to generalize. There are numerous variables in character and temperament. This will hold true even though a person is an NF, there are too many factors. Speaking for myself I am an INFP. My wife was an ENFJ. We were cemented. I could not for the life of me imagine being with someone who is an opposite. As an empathetic and sensitive individual I need clarity and not too much chaos in wildly variant beliefs and value system for a mate.

    The following information comes from Please Understand Me II by David Keirsey, 1998. The first book Please Understand Me was written by an NT, Professor David Keirsey and Bates and was a two million copy best seller. According to this resource the NF 'Idealist' has much less trouble with mates of their own temperament, and 'Idealists' often get along exceptionally well with mates of their own temperament. Two NF's can find deep felt satisfaction in sharing each other's inner world and exploring each other's personal development.

    Additionally a choice of an 'Rational' mate seems to hold the best promise of success for 'Idealists.' The basis of their compatibility is that NF's and NT's live primarily in the world of abstract concepts -the world of theories and possibilities, of insights and symbols. Idealists take to Rationals as no other temperament.

    The 'SP' 'Artisan' seems to seek a Playmate for their life.
    The 'SJ" 'Guardian seems to seek a Helpmate for a mate.
    The 'NF' 'Idealist' is on a search for their Soulmate.
    An 'NT' 'Rational wish a Mind-mate.

  9. #9
    Senior Member AStrange~Nostalgia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissNeolithic View Post
    Opposites can often be attractive on a superficial level and at a distance, the tricky part is the forming of a deeper connection.
    that is very true ,IRL opposites attract from a distance SO well .but both need to make GREAT effort and sacrifices to be in harmony and aware of the different needs and perspective .

    p.s: it depends on person`s own life experience , MBTI has nothing to do with the real harmony.(personally thinking)

  10. #10
    Stardust StarFollowed's Avatar
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    To a degree, I believe, opposites can attract. I’m married to an ISTJ.

    What keeps people together is mutual respect and understanding and some similarities.
    “I touch people. I think everyone needs that.”

    “I don’t go by the rule-book. I lead from the heart, not the head.”

    “I think the biggest disease the world suffers in this day and age is the disease of people feeling unloved. I know that I can give love for a minute, for half an hour, for a day, for a month. I’m very happy to do that. I want to do that.”

    “I wear my heart on my sleeve.”


    ENFP, 4w3, SX/SO.

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