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  1. #11
    Daywalker Hellena Handbasket's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    666 sx/sp


    I married an estj and what attracted me to him is the fact that he balances me in a lot of ways. We've brought out the best in each other.
    But I think the fact that we have shared values, goals, and a willingness to work together to meet the other halfway and understand each other has made more of a difference than anything.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Tengri's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016


    There's some truth to this. My parents are very much opposites and compensate for each other's faults and shortcomings. My mom is a classic ENFJ and my step-dad is an ISTP of the silliest kind (my mom affectionately berates him for not having "a serious bone in his body") and they are very much in love and enjoy being together. While their temperaments are nicely balanced, they also share important values, political ideologies, and cultural backgrounds that are the glue that cements the foundation their relationship. In addition to this, my mom is drawn to intellectual men like her father (my step-dad is in academia), my step-dad appreciates my mom's nurturing and strong family-oriented nature because he had a somewhat hands-off childhood (she works in the psychology field), plus they share the same ethnicity. So, they are attracted to many other differences in addition to opposite personality qualities. Most of the couples I'm friends with are opposites, as well, and their underlying attraction to each other is fairly obvious. I'm still of the opinion that attraction to opposites is healthy within reason, but majorly dependent on individuals, their backgrounds, maturity, and longterm expectations.

  3. #13
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    9w1 sp/so
    EII Ne


    To clarify, an XSTP and XNFJ being attracted to each other is far more likely than an XSTP/XNFP or XSTJ/XNFJ attraction. NFs are obviously similar in a lot of ways but our natural chemistry with other types really differs depending on functions. Not to say those combinations can't successfully happen, but they're much less common and often an uphill battle on both sides.

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