[INFJ] Recipe for DISASTER? INFJ/ISTP

[TheAviator]

I (21F) am an ISTP and my partner is an INFJ (26M). He is currently a US Marine while I am a student pilot. According to MBTI compatibility, we are the worst possible match. On top of that, our careers prevent us from seeing or interacting with each other often. Our relationship, of course, is far from perfect. We fight sometimes and a few of these fights end up in near doorslams on his part due to my insensitivity and lack of appreciation towards his efforts to continually appease me. We also fought because I "never had time for him" and was always "too focused on my career". However since then we patched the gaps in our relationship and moved forward. He says I am "The One" and brings up the prospect of marriage on a very frequent basis.

Can an ISTP/INFJ relationship work out? Especially with career paths that conflict with the ability for us to take leave together?

 

[Kurono]

You basicly wrote "I don't like my relationship but I need your validation to say that it couldn't work out for 100%, not just 80%. So you can feel good about breaking up with him" ... No breaking up feels good and right^_^

 

[Ingrid in grids]

MBTI is not a good tool for explaining relationship dissatisfaction or predicting relationship success.

 

[TheAviator]

That's an interesting interpretation, Kurono. But that's not the case. I think I just sound negative in general. Does anybody know why ISTP and INFJ are not deemed compatible or the worse match? I rarely seen posts concerning these two. It's almost always an ENFP woman with an INFJ man. Or an ISTP woman with ESFJ man. And these combinations are branded ideal, despite that my partner hates extroverts and he works around them a lot. I don't like extroverts either.

 

[Norexan]

Be an INFJ man is curse by itself.

 

[TheAviator]

Be an INFJ man is curse by itself.

Geez, that's awfully helpful. Thank you!

 

[Lexicon]

MBTI is not a good tool for explaining relationship dissatisfaction or predicting relationship success.

This.

 

[Ingrid in grids]

Can an ISTP/INFJ relationship work out? Especially with career paths that conflict with the ability for us to take leave together?

FWIW, I am an INFJ in a relationship with an ISTP. We also have careers that conflict with our ability to see each other often at the moment. We make it work and I would not say that we have any incompatibility as far as personality is concerned. On the contrary, I’m more compatible with him than anyone else I’ve been with, including types which according to “theory” I should be most compatible with (“theory” being stuff written by Typology amateurs on the internet extrapolating the the frameworks far beyond their use). I don’t think Typology can account for the issues you describe.

 

[TheAviator]

FWIW, I am an INFJ in a relationship with an ISTP. We also have careers that conflict with our ability to see each other often at the moment. We make it work and I would not say that we have any incompatibility as far as personality is concerned. On the contrary, I’m more compatible with him than anyone else I’ve been with, including types which according to “theory” I should be most compatible with (“theory” being stuff written by Typology amateurs on the internet extrapolating the the frameworks far beyond their use). I don’t think Typology can account for the issues you describe.

I'm glad to hear that you're doing well with your ISTP, Ingrid. Should have known that the pairings listed and suggested by Typology amateurs can be far from correct. However, I can relate and adhere to the ISTP description. It helps me understand myself better alone. Like you, my INFJ and I, despite fighting, felt a stronger connection than any previous experience we had with other MBTI types.

 

[Riva]

Cliche saying here - with understanding, maturity and compromise it would be possible.

Like appreciating the dude and opening up etc might help.

Be an INFJ man is curse by itself.

Lolz. I said something similar a while back. Didn't get that much heat thrown at me for it.

https://www.typologycentral.com/for...-functions/76849-esxx-hate-8.html#post2463594

MBTI is not a good tool for explaining relationship dissatisfaction or predicting relationship success.

Any relationship is possible with maturity and compromise. However certain personalities would be more compatible than others. As an example - I can't see myself ever marrying a ENFP although I am undeniably attracted to them. But I know certain personalities that would be ideal for ENFPs.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

An INFJ US Marine?

 

[Poki]

Just tread lightly with his Fe...we suck at consistency with it. I can see myself with an INFJ...only one...i couldnt handle 2 very well...that damn Fe with Ni steering it. I just couldnnot live up to fully who they would want. Would both still enjoy and such...but i couldnt really handle more then one at a time.

I just bring up more then one because you are taxing to us...but not in a horrible way. Just a way wherr we have to push ourselves which is good.

 

[TheAviator]

An INFJ US Marine?

Yes. What's wrong with that? A profession can attract all personality types but some are more or less inclined towards it.

Aviation attracts ISTPs like me, but that doesn't mean other MBTI types aren't also attracted to it.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

Yes. What's wrong with that? A profession can attract all personality types but some are more or less inclined towards it.

Aviation attracts ISTPs like me, but that doesn't mean other MBTI types aren't also attracted to it.

Of course. Just a bit odd considering inferior Se. Would seem a bit overwhelming after awhile, in theory.

 

[Forever]

STOP WITH THE CLICKBAIT TITLES AHHHHH

Sincerely, like the INFJ male who posts,

Forever.

 

[TheAviator]

Of course. Just a bit odd considering inferior Se. Would seem a bit overwhelming after awhile, in theory.

Yes, it is rare for an INFJ to consider a career in the Marines. It's the last thing I'd think they'd do. So I was surprised when he told me he is an INFJ and completed a test that identified him as this type. But he's doing pretty well in a leadership position and most people like him. He also loves being in the military, and mainly because he says that he wants to save the world. Be a hero. I guess I can see this, but i don't think most INFJs would like to become a trained killer for a living.

 

[TheAviator]

STOP WITH THE CLICKBAIT TITLES AHHHHH

Sincerely, like the INFJ male who posts,

Forever.

Unfortunately, most people would only pay attention to something that can evoke a strong reaction. For example, anything controversial, negative or weird and ignore genuine posts that are often considered boring. My guess is that people need an escape from reality and to affirm their life is not as bad as the poster or OP. And feel great relief from doing so.

 

[SD45T-2]

An INFJ US Marine?

He's probably some weird MOS, like 0351 or something.

But seriously (sort of), I knew a woman (INTJ?) who played the French horn in the Marine Corps, which I think would have made her 5544.

 

[everdream]

Yeah. I find enneagram plays a bigger role than MBTI in relationship.

 

[Fidelia]

It sounds like it would be interesting for awhile, but ultimately be hard for the infj to be as satisfied and I think their tendancy to overanalyze could become smothering to the istp. Of course any two types can make a go of things if they are committed, but I can probably think of more naturally conducive pairings...