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[INFJ] Project Runway - Kenley, INFJ

felt up

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Anybody watch Project Runway?

I have a strong reaction to Kenley whom I believe is an INFJ, Enneagram 4. When I see her drama unfold, I get a knot in my stomach because it feels so familiar. I can see why INFJ4s can be a turnoff to others. Everything about her...even though she is much younger than me is so true to the way I operate in life.

It's interesting to watch another INFJ in action, especially under stress. I do those same things - accuse others of not understanding me, then I isolate from the pack, shooting side-eye venom at them, but wanting to have real connections with others.

I think Kenley is a great study for those of us who deal with these issues, and so rarely have the opportunity to observe the behavior as there are so few of us (at least on tv).

Last night Tim Gunn visited the remaining four finalists at home. I was struck by the fact that Kenley was the only contestant who didn't have one friend or family member to introduce Tim Gunn to. Kenley was so successful at pushing away EVERYONE on the show, it wouldn't be hard to believe she does the same thing in real life. I know I do. And as I get older it's so much harder to undo the damage.

Anyway, if you can catch this whole season from beginning to end, Kenley's a great study for those interested.
 
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Glycerine

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She must be an immature INFJ then. She always rubs me the wrong way. Ughh...I can't stand her on the show.
 

sade

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Definately a maybe, not a very mature one that girl..
I'm not a type 4 (actually 5.. or 9, not very familiar with the enneagram),
but she does seem like one on a quick glance.
I can't really relate to her. Despite the fact that she's 5 years older than me, she seems much younger.. but her level of self defence, isolating herself, strong opposite views compared to others do seem somewhat familiar. I'm reminded of the 12 yo me. *shudder* I may be wrong, no insult ment.
 

felt up

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It seems Kenley is perceived as immature because she takes the criticism about her garments very personally and shoots back at others.

I guess I don't understand other INFJs not relating to this. I would think this is a common reaction to criticism for an INFJ.
 

sade

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^ She gets pretty aggressive in her selfdefence, nearly shuts her ears and refuses to listen. It is hard to listen to criticism about something that is very important to you, but an adult needs to know how to deal with it a bit better. Not all criticism is bad, even if it's hard to deal with.
For another thing: I for one am a really calm person to the outside world, how I think at least some INFJs seem like too, so it's hard for me to relate to outbursts. I do grumble inside my mind and can get moody, but it's not something that can be seen from the outside, unless you know me really well.

And to lighten up the mood: :redherring: lunch anyone?
 

felt up

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^ She gets pretty aggressive in her selfdefence, nearly shuts her ears and refuses to listen. It is hard to listen to criticism about something that is very important to you, but an adult needs to know how to deal with it a bit better. Not all criticism is bad, even if it's hard to deal with.
For another thing: I for one am a really calm person to the outside world, how I think at least some INFJs seem like too, so it's hard for me to relate to outbursts. I do grumble inside my mind and can get moody, but it's not something that can be seen from the outside, unless you know me really well.

And to lighten up the mood: :redherring: lunch anyone?

I think INFJs go from quiet most of the time, to quietly seething, to crazy emotional outbursts if something is particularly upsetting to them. To say that it's 'immaturity' rather than the personality under stress is unfair, (even for Kenley). For me...my demeanor could never ever be described as calm. I'm a quiet person, but I'm a very passionate individual. I'm more like a contained ball of fire. But the INFPs I know are calm and willowy in the midst of a hurricane.
 

Jasz

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i have watched some of the episodes this season and i recognize in Kenley quite a few of the challenges introverts face. i agree that she is a little immature but i still connect strongly with her 'outsider' problems. her defensiveness and feelings of being attacked personally is the core of the issue. i suspect, based on what i've seen, that her J is not that strong. i actually think that infp's and intp's can suffer the exact same fate as her in such situations. i do not have enough first hand experience with introverted sensors.
 

hermeticdancer

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Is she the one who looks like Betty Page?

The way they edit the show, portrays her as a snobby outcast. I think she says 'No one understands me, Ive had a harder life than you x10,' she says to someone if I recall.

I see it as, If she has had a harder life than everyone else and no one understands he, she is going to isolate herself more. Self fulfilling prophecy.
:cry:

I liked last season better.
 
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Glycerine

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I think INFJs go from quiet most of the time, to quietly seething, to crazy emotional outbursts if something is particularly upsetting to them. To say that it's 'immaturity' rather than the personality under stress is unfair, (even for Kenley). For me...my demeanor could never ever be described as calm. I'm a quiet person, but I'm a very passionate individual. I'm more like a contained ball of fire. But the INFPs I know are calm and willowy in the midst of a hurricane.

Yeah, that might have been a little harsh. However, I probably am one of the least assertive people and rarely confront people even if they piss me off. I more or less, internalize it. From what they have shown, she just seems way too confrontational, lacks skills in diplomacy, and does not seem very self-aware. This and the fact that she's 7 years older than me were the reasons why I thought she was "immature". Maybe it was a mistake to compare myself to her and correlate that to immaturity. Maybe she was just showing the devilish side of the ESTP. Was that what you were trying to point out?
 

cafe

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No way I could take the kind of pressure they put people through. If I was standing there having my 'baby' ripped apart like that, the only thing I'd be able to do would be just stand there and cry. I wouldn't even be able to talk.
 

sade

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I think INFJs go from quiet most of the time, to quietly seething, to crazy emotional outbursts if something is particularly upsetting to them. To say that it's 'immaturity' rather than the personality under stress is unfair, (even for Kenley). For me...my demeanor could never ever be described as calm. I'm a quiet person, but I'm a very passionate individual. I'm more like a contained ball of fire. But the INFPs I know are calm and willowy in the midst of a hurricane.
I was listening to the way she worded her responses, innuendoes, and the things she said off of judging in other episodes too were a bit..
It's a shitty position to be in if you feel left out. And there are different ways to cope with it. Hers is one way, but there are others too, that is what I'm saying.
I'm highly introverted and private. It's one of the reasons people see me as calm, then again they never know what's inside. My mom's sometimes laughing about how people think that I lack temper. I'm just that private and picky in what to reveal, even if I talk much and am active..
No way I could take the kind of pressure they put people through. If I was standing there having my 'baby' ripped apart like that, the only thing I'd be able to do would be just stand there and cry. I wouldn't even be able to talk.
I write and take part in competitions. I've had couple of times when the response to my short stories has been read to me. The **** experiences ever. My sympathy goes to he participants in those shows. It's pretty bad how they are portrayed in the tv too..
 

felt up

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Yeah, that might have been a little harsh. However, I probably am one of the least assertive people and rarely confront people even if they piss me off. I more or less, internalize it. From what they have shown, she just seems way too confrontational, lacks skills in diplomacy, and does not seem very self-aware. This and the fact that she's 7 years older than me were the reasons why I thought she was "immature". Maybe it was a mistake to compare myself to her and correlate that to immaturity. Maybe she was just showing the devilish side of the ESTP. Was that what you were trying to point out?

IDK your "immaturity" assessment of Kenley sounds familiar. I've been told the same thing by those closest to me and I'm in my 40s. Women are supposed to be less selfish and self-absorbed than men. Female INFJs might come off less favorably.

The need to defend the 'misunderstood' parts of the self is great for me. Criticism always feels personal. I throw daggers in those super-dramatic confrontational moments...not like Kenley...but then again I'm not on a reality show. I'm fascinated with her because she can't go to the INFJ-doorslam, and say f u Project Runway, pack her bags, and go.

My first career was in fashion design. In school, I frequently went ballistic when my garments were critiqued. At the time, I thought I was so 'ahead of time' and 'they didn't get me.' Part of it is true. My design aesthetic was way out there, but the criticism I received was mainly about construction. In the moment it felt very personal, like I was getting ripped apart, not my flat-felt seams.
 

felt up

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No way I could take the kind of pressure they put people through. If I was standing there having my 'baby' ripped apart like that, the only thing I'd be able to do would be just stand there and cry. I wouldn't even be able to talk.

Yep. Even if it's an ugly baby it's still yours. You gave birth to it. And HOW DARE anyone think it's not adorable.
 
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Glycerine

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IDK your "immaturity" assessment of Kenley sounds familiar. I've been told the same thing by those closest to me and I'm in my 40s. Women are supposed to be less selfish and self-absorbed than men. Female INFJs might come off less favorably.

The need to defend the 'misunderstood' parts of the self is great for me. Criticism always feels personal. I throw daggers in those super-dramatic confrontational moments...not like Kenley...but then again I'm not on a reality show. I'm fascinated with her because she can't go to the INFJ-doorslam, and say f u Project Runway, pack her bags, and go.

My first career was in fashion design. In school, I frequently went ballistic when my garments were critiqued. At the time, I thought I was so 'ahead of time' and 'they didn't get me.' Part of it is true. My design aesthetic was way out there, but the criticism I received was mainly about construction. In the moment it felt very personal, like I was getting ripped apart, not my flat-felt seams.
Thanks for helping me to see it in a new light. I forgot to factor in how the tremendous added pressure of reality television could probably bring out the worst in people and that the networks always edit out the shows to make one person seem the "annoying jerk" of a given show. They sure do a good job making Kenley look like the "jerk" of the show.
 
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