[INFP] INFP vs INFJ's Views on Romance and Sex

[AdmiralAndGirlsDesu]

Hi all, I was wondering if INFPs and INFJs have different views regarding romance and sexual activity. I am curious because as an INFP, my dominant Fi is actually a Judging function while INFJs lead with a dominant perceiving function. I'd also like to know for the E types in this part of the forum. I know it is somewhat of a private matter for many of you, but I'd be interested to hear your opinions:

As an INFP, I strongly believe in:
-No casual sex nor casual dating, dating is for marriage and the long-term.
-No prostitution or finding sexual relief through professionals.
-Clubbing, drinking, partying as avenues for finding my other half are off limits. I don't engage in those activities even on my own.
-Sex is to be taken seriously, only in a serious relationship. Hook-ups and friends with benefits are not really my thing.
-I tend to feel uncomfortable knowing that a girl has had more than 2, sometimes, even 1, relationship before me.
-I wouldn't date a girl that lost her virginity as a result of anything other than a serious / marriage-oriented relationship before me.
-When I look for a woman, I am not only looking for a life partner, but someone that will make a good mother to children. Women who don't want to have children or lack a maternal instinct, I find them a bit strange, though I can still find them fun.
-I appreciate someone who understands me and appreciates me, and accepts me for who I am, somebody who understands (and tries to) my deepest thoughts and feelings. Somebody who is like-minded and can have good conversations with me. Somebody that is kind, caring, genuine, and does not need constant external stimulation. Somebody who can have a good time with me without needing to do anything in particular.
-Modesty and humbleness are held in high regard by me.
-I'm not that picky when it comes to age, but I often find myself connecting more with not just slightly older women, but older people in general. It's been this way since I was a kid. However, if you are younger but can prove that you connect well with me, it's all that matters.
-I have little relationship experience, and I truly hope that the next girl I'm with will be my last. I honestly cannot comprehend how people who've had so many failed relationships somehow manage to 'keep going', in a general sense.
-Deep down I know I'm not a breadwinner. I can't handle the 'real world' as it is. Who is to tell me that things should be a certain way because 'it's just so and so?'
-I have a hard time making decisions, I'm not really decisive. I believe in finding something that makes both her and I happy. However, I can also be quite sacrificial.
-I don't believe in very flowery / explicit displays of romance. To me, true romance comes from the lifelong commitment embodied as the saying which can be translated as: 'To grow old with white hair.' If you are looking for the kind of guy who takes you out on exciting and downright romantic dates, that's not me. To me, hanging out and having street food together, or a stroll in the park in the evening are dates.
-I'm actually turned off by patriarchy, though I despise what modern feminism has become. I don't feel the need to clearly establish stronger versus weaker, I believe in more of a complementary view of things.
-I don't want to divorce.
-Looks, let's admit they matter to one degree or another for over 99% of people. For me, I'm not that heavy into looks, though I still have a few guidelines that I follow:
1. I prefer little to no makeup on a woman. Many women wear makeup even when they clearly don't need it. I don't like looking at a 'mask' in the figurative sense.
2. I'd prefer a woman who's slightly plump over someone who's super thin. I'm somewhat plump myself, and plumpness is believed to be a sign of good fortune. It's cute and also makes me feel secure.
3. I like glasses, I'm really into the bookish / geeky kind of look because I'm like that myself. What I really like is that natural kind of feeling that I can't fully describe.
4. No plastic surgery. It's a sign of vanity. The only exception would be a re-construction of the face after an accident.
5. I don't like women who wear overly flashy / revealing clothing, though in terms of pure lust I can still find that appealing at a very carnal and superficial level. I think, at least for now, I distinguish well between desires of the flesh and desires of the heart.
6. In terms of height, I'd say 5'7 is pretty much my upper limit. I'm around 5'9 and a half myself. I'm basically fine with anything between 5'1 and 5'7.
7. This might be cultural, but I do have a preference towards girls who don't have overly dark skin. On the other hand, so many Westerners go for tanning procedures.
-I like women with generally easygoing personalities that generally don't require me, nor themselves to do anything. For example, as a foodie, I wouldn't want a girl who can't enjoy eating with me because she's overly concerned about her figure. Screw that.

 

[AdmiralAndGirlsDesu]

I also like to be emotionally assured, to be 'spoiled' and taken care of. ^^ I guess I constantly need to be 'mothered'. I'm also very caring myself, down to little details. Don't be surprised if I constantly ask you whether you've eaten your meal, or something like that.

 

[notmyapples]

I'm not sure if sexual preference has much to do with MBTI. An INFP's Fi could place a lot of value on sex between long-term partners with intense connections, it could also believe in a more free attitude towards sexual relations and enjoy casual sex. I see more recurring patterns between enneagrams and instinctual variants, but not necessarily MBTI.

 

[SurrealisticSlumbers]

Let's give the guy a break, he is obviously young.

 

[AdmiralAndGirlsDesu]

I am indeed young, I'm only 21 now, but growing up I usually preferred the company of adults rather than other children, and I often took part in 'adult' conversations. Some of my teachers at school believed I had anti-social (not the PD) tendencies that were cause for concern. Unfortunately neither one of my parents really understood me either. I may be physically young (though some have said I look at least a couple of years older), but I sometimes wonder whether I am an 'old soul.' It's hard for me to find like-minded people that I connect with, and I'm quite out-of-sync with the overall rhythm of this modern world. The LAST thing that I, as an INFP, wants, is to have my genuine beliefs, values, and feelings invalidated because of my age. I've experienced that over and over again, and it does not make me feel good.

 

[AdmiralAndGirlsDesu]

I come from a very broken family, was not only misunderstood, but oppressed and abused in my childhood and teenage years. Was never physically abused, but suffered wave after wave of emotional and mental bullying from my heck of mum who's had a miserable life herself. It was not until I grew older that I understood how her anger was oftentimes not 'really' directed towards me, but unresolved feelings from her marriage. To make a long story short, I've had to struggle for my sanity. Despite not having any good role models in my life, some people who became closer to me were astonished at how I somehow maintained a very strong sense of right and wrong. I couldn't tell them why, I just knew. My biological family (so-called) is non-existent, period. No love, no warmth, nothing except games and taking sides. My inner world was my only constant companion though I also did typical things like playing video games and drawing.

 

[Zeego]

-No casual sex nor casual dating, dating is for marriage and the long-term.
-No prostitution or finding sexual relief through professionals.
-Clubbing, drinking, partying as avenues for finding my other half are off limits. I don't engage in those activities even on my own.
-Sex is to be taken seriously, only in a serious relationship. Hook-ups and friends with benefits are not really my thing.
-I tend to feel uncomfortable knowing that a girl has had more than 2, sometimes, even 1, relationship before me.
-I wouldn't date a girl that lost her virginity as a result of anything other than a serious / marriage-oriented relationship before me.

Do you wish other people abided by these rules or are they just guidelines for yourself?

 

[AdmiralAndGirlsDesu]

These are just guidelines for myself, other people can do as they please. It's ultimately their business to live their lives. However, if it were a close friend of mine, I'd be more likely to convince him / her into looking at things more like me.