Heironymous
New member
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2018
- Messages
- 1
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 451
*Looking for input on creating a communication bridge between our Auxiliary Functions when we're in conflict or trying to create goals*... I'm an INFJ male in a long-term relationship with an INTJ female.
My main frustration is looking at our life course together and seeing very little progress toward long-term goals or even just setting those goals in the first place.
We have arguments where I'll delineate how I see our current life patterns extrapolating into the future and how some of these are extremely negative and will result in net losses and bummer emotions for both of us; then I will point to alterations in the present moment that would lead to better outcomes down the road. A lot of this has to do with struggling with mood disorders and operating at less than optimal levels of functionality. So, I'll go about creating a game plan which centers around creating a better neuro-biological foundation from which better outcomes will naturally flow (IMHO very objectively and logically). ie "these things should take priority in the relationship":
1. Get better sleep (reduce myriad negative results of sleep deprivation and dysregulated circadian rhythm on mood)
2. Improve diet (better brain fuel, less inflammation, better health into the future)
3. Meditate (destress, improve neurology at a structural level)
4. Exercise or do Yoga (destress, improve physiology, enhance mood and energy)
5. Reduce Vices (stop smoking, greatly diminish alcohol and sugar consumption)
All of these things create synergistic feedback that improve mood and cognition and ultimately inform how we relate to each other (there's my Fe end game). What is bizarre to me is that I (who has a Bachelors in Psychology and some valid knowledge in the subject area) will lay these things out (in flow charts, in diagrams, with extensive scientific research cited and backing them) and my partner, who is supposedly presenting to the world through her Te auxiliary function, will not alter her behavior at all.
I feel like as our relationship has developed over the past 4 years I've moved farther and farther away from the empathy outrage of things like "HOW DO YOU THINK THIS MAKES ME FEEL AS A PARTNER?!" and just started objectively laying out research and facts and how this will impact our end game (Te)... but what the hell? All to no avail.
Can someone take a stab at this? Preferably with some discussion of the cognitive stack dimensions which we don't share in common? INTJ input would be especially appreciated.
My main frustration is looking at our life course together and seeing very little progress toward long-term goals or even just setting those goals in the first place.
We have arguments where I'll delineate how I see our current life patterns extrapolating into the future and how some of these are extremely negative and will result in net losses and bummer emotions for both of us; then I will point to alterations in the present moment that would lead to better outcomes down the road. A lot of this has to do with struggling with mood disorders and operating at less than optimal levels of functionality. So, I'll go about creating a game plan which centers around creating a better neuro-biological foundation from which better outcomes will naturally flow (IMHO very objectively and logically). ie "these things should take priority in the relationship":
1. Get better sleep (reduce myriad negative results of sleep deprivation and dysregulated circadian rhythm on mood)
2. Improve diet (better brain fuel, less inflammation, better health into the future)
3. Meditate (destress, improve neurology at a structural level)
4. Exercise or do Yoga (destress, improve physiology, enhance mood and energy)
5. Reduce Vices (stop smoking, greatly diminish alcohol and sugar consumption)
All of these things create synergistic feedback that improve mood and cognition and ultimately inform how we relate to each other (there's my Fe end game). What is bizarre to me is that I (who has a Bachelors in Psychology and some valid knowledge in the subject area) will lay these things out (in flow charts, in diagrams, with extensive scientific research cited and backing them) and my partner, who is supposedly presenting to the world through her Te auxiliary function, will not alter her behavior at all.
I feel like as our relationship has developed over the past 4 years I've moved farther and farther away from the empathy outrage of things like "HOW DO YOU THINK THIS MAKES ME FEEL AS A PARTNER?!" and just started objectively laying out research and facts and how this will impact our end game (Te)... but what the hell? All to no avail.
Can someone take a stab at this? Preferably with some discussion of the cognitive stack dimensions which we don't share in common? INTJ input would be especially appreciated.