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[ENFP] What do ENFPs find attractive in other people?

BlueScreen

Fail 2.0
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Nov 8, 2008
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Some of "us" claim to be "ENFP", when clearly some of "us" aren't.

Please see below as a classic example of this impostor phenomenon.

Though I would've picked them on writing style rather than content. ENFPs can have strange senses of humour and ways of making a point. Though vulgarity for the sake of it is pretty uncommon. The style of the follow up confirmed your suspicions a bit. Can't remember type that does it that way, but it isn't an ENFP trait. Headhurts might want to check INFP also. INFPs normally have a bit more evil humour in them, that comment sounded a bit Fe. Maybe an INFJ?
 

nomadic

mountain surfing
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just the way i feel.

a lot of girls do derive too much emotion from sex

and it is possible to be in love without sex. was something i wanted to know can happen...

its pretty extreme, but i needed a period of cleansing too.
 

BlueScreen

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just the way i feel.

a lot of girls do derive too much emotion from sex

and it is possible to be in love without sex

its pretty extreme, but i needed a period of cleansing too.

I don't completely disagree with the point, just how you made it. Most people attach more if they have slept with eachother. It's sort of a human trait.
 

G-Virus

Broud Balestinian
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No idea here, dare I use the V word to describe myself. Sadly but proudly (by choice), yes I am a virgin, but I have been told that there is no such thing as casual sex.
 

nomadic

mountain surfing
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I don't completely disagree with the point, just how you made it. Most people attach more if they have slept with eachother. It's sort of a human trait.

still not sure what u mean at all

but yea, i ranged from little bit E to moderate more E, and a little more P than J. but its the same all 3 or 4 times i took it overall. if thats what u mean...
 

BlueScreen

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still not sure what u mean at all

but yea, i ranged from little bit E to moderate more E, and a little more P than J. but its the same all 3 or 4 times i took it overall. if thats what u mean...

Yeh, it's cool. If you're in a shit spot then might be ENFP, just it was uncharacteristic for ENFPs normally so I was seconding Captain Chicks response. Don't know why but I don't even go that sort of comment in the sporting change rooms when the rest of the guys are. If I felt I had to say it I'd try to find ways to avoid it.

My comment on the follow up was because it is also unusual for an ENFP to not do the backdown in that case. Instead you went the attempt at readjusting and being right, no hint of apology. Which I class more with Fe and non NFs, from what I've seen most ENFPs don't really mind being wrong that much. Though it is characteristic if you are in the shits and it is really holding you down and frustrating you. ENFP won't back down easily at all in that case.
 

nomadic

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Yeh, it's cool. If you're in a shit spot then might be ENFP, just it was uncharacteristic for ENFPs normally so I was seconding Captain Chicks response. Don't know why but I don't even go that sort of comment in the sporting change rooms when the rest of the guys are. If I felt I had to say it I'd try to find ways to avoid it.

My comment on the follow up was because it is also unusual for an ENFP to not do the backdown in that case. Instead you went the attempt at readjusting and being right. Which I class more with Fe, from what I've seen most ENFPs don't really mind being wrong that much. Though it is characteristic if you are in the shits and it is really holding you down and frustrating you. ENFP won't back down easily at all in that case.

oh. i guess its more reflective of my thought processes with some... relationships i am dealing with... my not backing down is probably more to do with loyalty to something in this case...

but yeah. i dunno why i bothered to mention it in the first place. some spur of the moment thing i guess...
 

Amargith

Hotel California
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I'd say that last sentence is pretty ENFP, though.. :)
 

nomadic

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haha thnx enfp homies! lol

i think i had some profound realizations about myself in the past few posts... this is some good stuff... ^_^
 

phoenix13

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Well, many mention physical attributes.

Also, some of the people that made longer lists state *odd* qualitites like an appreciation of art or talent. How they make someone attractive i fail to see.

I was expecting more i guess :dry:


You don't see how talent is attractive!? Are you a stone sculpture? Are you a zombie? Are you the tin man? Or perhaps it's not your heart that's missing... :strawman:

I do agree about the superficiality of some of these responses, though. It's not surprising given the whole reproductive instinct.
 

BlueScreen

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oh. i guess its more reflective of my thought processes with some... relationships i am dealing with... my not backing down is probably more to do with loyalty to something in this case...

but yeah. i dunno why i bothered to mention it in the first place. some spur of the moment thing i guess...

:) Yeh, makes sense. I don't normally back down if I care strongly either way. Or have noticed something I think none of the world sees.

I'm going to offend a few people maybe by taking up the topic and discussing it, but your point isn't that bad. As an ENFP guy you often find that you aren't the most forward person. You create strong bonds of friendship then girls run off and take the first smooth guy who comes through and talks them into bed. To tell the truth they probably liked you but didn't form that romantic bond at all because of your approach. That doesn't mean you change and be something you aren't, it is just good to realise so when you approach them to ask such things you understand the response. All people get sexually frustrated also, it is actually cruel to withhold sometimes. I learnt this when I had a friend who was STP maybe. Abstinence can be control as much as sleeping with someone. At least with the second you aren't dangling them in almost. You let the bond be complete. I was almost screaming sleep with her you asshole or at least kiss her. It's good to make things clear with people sometimes. It isn't romantic or anything like that, but it means they can make the decisions for the right reasons and not get caught up on things. Removes the whole games from it all (I'm talking about the damaging non fun part, not the flirting). One of the best lines I've ever heard as an ENFP was "give me some credit". Have that in your mind when you approach these things, the other person is just as complex and capable as you are. And their reasons are too.

p.s. if you want to out do the other guys as ENFP you can probably outflirt and create more interest than most, it is just we get quiet and don't back our skills because we think as a guy we have to do it the way the others do. Hence things like the comment you made. We start believing in conforming to things society says. As you get older and believe less in some barriers that aren't there, it gets quite easy to be honest and to not have people wander and feel no romance. Have a look at the perception of ENFPs in general. I've heard late 20s some ENFP guys realise this ability and go a bit nuts and to the other extreme. So yeh, back yourself in on it. We are too self conscious sometimes. But if you take notice of what that Ne is telling you rather than getting focussed on yourself, you'll realise the girls actually find connecting quite sexy :), and probably a lot more than "hey want a fuck". The ideal I'm guessing for most people would be sex with someone who connects and loves them, it's just if you demonise sex then it is a bit unattractive to want you for it.
 

nomadic

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You create strong bonds of friendship then girls run off and take the first smooth guy who comes through and talks them into bed. To tell the truth they probably liked you but didn't form that romantic bond at all because of your approach.

ah... i get what u mean. i guess some of my relationships were more like... all she wanted was sex sex sex, and sometimes i was just tired and just wanted to chill and hang out. i mean for a month or so, the sex sex sex thing is cool, but later on, i want something more meaningful i guess... i mean i have to blame myself to some degree, bc its what i wanted in the first place... u know? and i find myself sticking around bc i'd feel guilty to some degree...

and that meaningful things i found with relationships that weren't as based on sex...
 

Nillerz

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emotions do not come from ovaries. they don't come from anything physical...

i've loved an ex that was waiting until marriage to do the deed, more than other ex's that i had sex with...

but a lot of girls... are exactly how i described. make no mistake!
EMOTIONS ARE 4 CHAIN AMINO ACIDS RELEASED FROM THE HYPOTHALAMUS THAT DOCK ONTO RECEPTOR SITES ON A CELL AND CHANGE THE CHEMISTRY OF THE CELL TO SUIT AN ENVIRONMENT THAT WOULD TRIGGER THE RELEASE OF SAID AMINO ACID.

Unleash the power of the caps lock!
 

G-Virus

Broud Balestinian
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EMOTIONS ARE 4 CHAIN AMINO ACIDS RELEASED FROM THE HYPOTHALAMUS THAT DOCK ONTO RECEPTOR SITES ON A CELL AND CHANGE THE CHEMISTRY OF THE CELL TO SUIT AN ENVIRONMENT THAT WOULD TRIGGER THE RELEASE OF SAID AMINO ACID.

Unleash the power of the caps lock!

What your really shooting for is the pituitary gland (anterior and posterior). The hormones are mainly to control pissing or growing pubes, but some effects on mental state. Your main thing for emotions are the neurotransmitters, and neurotransmitters are not amino acids at all. They are monoamines, as in were once amino acids but then some enzyme decarboxylated them.
 

Hexis

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Well, many mention physical attributes.

Also, some of the people that made longer lists state *odd* qualitites like an appreciation of art or talent. How they make someone attractive i fail to see.

I was expecting more i guess :dry:

So what if its superficial, im also only attracted to well "attractive" chicks. Now a lot of the traits mentioned earlier such as Independent, Confident, a sense of humor and Intelligent are all things I like in a partner but first before all else she has to be attractive. I could care less if you think that's superficial but I highly doubt you can fully disagree with me that you dont feel the same way.

At some point your gona have to "like" looking at your partner.
 

G-Virus

Broud Balestinian
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But in the land of neuropeptides, heroine is king.

Heroin is not a peptide, its just a kick ass molecule. peptide is the bonds amino acids make N--C--O--N--C--O

Man I am just being an ass so forgive me.
 
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