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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by LucieCat View Post
    True. I'm sorry to hear about your experience, and I hope you've been able to rise above it. Personally, I see the past as the past. It's part of me yet doesn't define me.
    There are so many professions where people should just not go into if they hate children. Teaching is a big one (I had two awful teachers— one who basically said I would be a failure and the other who gave me nightmares for about 4/5 Years). So is any sort of healthcare dealing with children. Or really anything where they can be hurt. That sort of stuff stays with people throughout their lives.
    Thanks. I haven't been able to "rise above" it because it's having skeletons in the closet, which is suffocating. But I don't feel at liberty to go around saying, "Let me tell you about what you don't want to hear," because everybody's cousin was helped by psychiatry, or they've been attacked at some point by someone who was "off their meds". And then it becomes a contentious topic. You can't just talk normally about it and say, "This is what happened to me in my life" without it defining you in other people's minds in a way that you don't want to be viewed. Or maybe you can, but I haven't been able to renormalize my life while integrating that experience into it. If I could, that would take power and control away from it, but instead it remains like a smog hanging over my life year after year, that never quite clears up.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metis View Post
    Thanks. I haven't been able to "rise above" it because it's having skeletons in the closet, which is suffocating. But I don't feel at liberty to go around saying, "Let me tell you about what you don't want to hear," because everybody's cousin was helped by psychiatry, or they've been attacked at some point by someone who was "off their meds". And then it becomes a contentious topic. You can't just talk normally about it and say, "This is what happened to me in my life" without it defining you in other people's minds in a way that you don't want to be viewed. Or maybe you can, but I haven't been able to renormalize my life while integrating that experience into it. If I could, that would take power and control away from it, but instead it remains like a smog hanging over my life year after year, that never quite clears up.
    It is a contentious topic. I certainly don't talk about my own history much in public unless it's prompted or needed or I trust the person. People are very quick to judge. And it's a fine line. I have a friend who has recently started telling everyone she meets about her OCD shortly after meeting them. It turns a lot of people off, and I told her that she might be revealing too much about herself too soon. To which she said, "I just want people to know what they're dealing with." To that I tried to tell her that it does not define her. But it's kind of hard for me to say that because I know how easy it is to let something negative that has hurt you take over (and she knows I know this).
    I think that society needs to change to be more open and accepting to these sorts of experience and not ostracize people who have had them. There are a lot of people who have some variety of trauma in their past. I believe there are more than most people think.

    Then again, I'm not really sure how I do anything at times. I just live and keep going because it's the only thing I know how to do. And I always tell myself that it could have been worse. I was never physically or sexually harmed. Of course, emotional damage is just as bad and has a heavy tool on anyone. But some people have experienced two or all three of these types of harm. I also had my parents and some friends who stuck with me no matter what, and some people aren't so lucky to have that kind of support system.

    But you can acknowledge what happened and that it was wrong. I think that's a really important step in the healing process which is never really finished. Some people can't admit these things to themselves for whatever reason. I know many people that seem to be like that or were at one point, and I think that fact makes their quality of life worse.
    Likes Metis liked this post

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by LucieCat View Post
    ...it's a fine line. I have a friend who has recently started telling everyone she meets about her OCD shortly after meeting them. It turns a lot of people off, and I told her that she might be revealing too much about herself too soon. To which she said, "I just want people to know what they're dealing with."


    I guess that would work if the person has a cute, bubbly personality, and they just come off as very gregarious and open. If it's presented in a more solemn, "disclosure" sort of way, it could seem a little dramatic and odd.

    Quote Originally Posted by LucieCat View Post
    But you can acknowledge what happened and that it was wrong. I think that's a really important step in the healing process which is never really finished.
    I see emotions as a precursor to action, so if you're in a situation that's helpless, such as being held against your will, or being unable to speak on your behalf, or whatever situation that doesn't allow for you to take any productive action, then you can start to get overwhelmed with impotent emotions. So apparently, some Fi-dominant people just "feel" emotions of all sorts and don't necessarily feel impotent if they aren't in a position to take an action based on them. If I get in a frame of mind in which I'm just feeling emotions, it's because there's nothing I can do about the situation in order to remedy it. Interesting difference.

    I wonder if that's an Fe thing, then, or if it's just not a function of Fi vs. Fe. Or if its more related to enneagram, like bundleofsunshine mentioned.

  4. #24
    don't ask me Flâneuse's Avatar
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    Yes. I do not readily externalize my emotions and feel much more comfortable and far less vulnerable keeping them to myself and processing them on my own. Because of this, more emotionally expressive people sometimes misjudge me as being numb and out of touch with my emotions when in reality I'm just picky about who I share them with.

  5. #25
    🍓 girl in an 🍎 world SurrealisticSlumbers's Avatar
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    Ditto on what all the other INFPs here have said.

    You know what type really gets the "feels"? ISFJs. Female ISFJs, to be more precise. Like, damn.
    Over 40 years ago, we were passing through South Carolina - possibly on our way to Florida.
    For reasons unknown to this day, we were shot to death, execution style, on the side of a dirt road.
    We were a young couple, probably in our early to mid-20s, and may have been French Canadian.
    Our identities have never been established.
    So... Who were we?



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