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[NF] Are INFJs and ENFPs really the 'perfect match'?

ParaMolly

New member
Joined
Sep 2, 2017
Messages
3
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4
I recently met someone at a camp whose personality I was immediately attracted to, and we really hit it off.

After I got home I pegged him as a ENFP with some research. I read more about the type, and honestly they sound exactly like the person I've been envisioning spending the rest of my life with.

Are INFJs and ENFPs really the perfect match everyone says they are? Does anyone here, of either type, have personal experience?
 

chubber

failed poetry slam career
Joined
Oct 18, 2013
Messages
4,413
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I recently met someone at a camp whose personality I was immediately attracted to, and we really hit it off.

After I got home I pegged him as a ENFP with some research. I read more about the type, and honestly they sound exactly like the person I've been envisioning spending the rest of my life with.

Are INFJs and ENFPs really the perfect match everyone says they are? Does anyone here, of either type, have personal experience?

Statistics seems to back up the claim that NF married to another NF is 73% satisfied in their relationships. That's considered the highest for NFs.
 

Forever

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 30, 2013
Messages
8,551
MBTI Type
NiFi
Enneagram
3w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I have usually fallen bitterly disappointed with most enfps I meet irl. Here not so much but once in a while there's one lol
 

Fidelia

Iron Maiden
Staff member
Joined
May 31, 2009
Messages
14,497
MBTI Type
INFJ
They're fine as friends, but I wouldn't be interested in dating an enfp.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Tbh, i feel like id never be good enough for most infjs - and i hate to disappoint people.. I might be open to the right enfj, though :)
 

Abcdenfp

Terpsichore
Joined
May 19, 2017
Messages
1,669
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7W8
In real life I have never met a INFJ so I can't say, in forum I have enjoyed conversing with them, sooo no help here! :D
 

ceecee

Coolatta® Enjoyer
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
15,908
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
That's a rather frightening amount of NF to me.
 

burningranger

Ambience seeker
Joined
Aug 3, 2017
Messages
248
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Tbh, i feel like id never be good enough for most infjs

I get that vibe too from many INFJ chicks. I'm not sure they ACTUALLY have an ideal though. Maybe a checklist...I love to dissapoint though (it's my defense mechanism...I kill sparks before there can be chances for one many times) so there's no room for much misunderstandings.

But then again this type talk is always very reductive. What's in a type? Doesn't say anything about the person's live choices or level of maturity and self-integration.

I have met some INFJs chicks on occasion and the attraction is quite big. It's not the same kind of attraction I feel for most other types. It's more of that true spiritual connection kind of attraction. It feels very right it's definately ideally what I really want from relationship...it also feels like the kind of attraction only possible with two individuals committed to self-awareness and emotional self-responsability tho. It's like the layer that attracts us to each other is beneath the ego, our own immaturities...and depending on how aligned our individual egos are with the deeper part of ourselves...we can either attract each other or repel.

I always got a sense that I will get the right relationship for me, once I've done a bit more 'work' on myself...and that it's usually INFJs chicks who give me that vibe....that they'd be the right partner for the best version of myself...maybe not the one I often lazily carry out in the world.

I think ultimately in any relationship the key ingredient for sucess is integration. Either a coming together of self-intergrated individual...or dynamic that helps integrate aspects in both people...So whereas for some NFs they do need the yang to their yin in NTs....for another NFs....more integrated within him/herself as far as that yin yang balance is concerend...less distance from their own way of being is needed in order to have an harmonious relationship...and in that case NF is a much more powerful match.

I think two whole NFs, in general will always trump other pairings....but like I said previously...type talk can be very reductive. Ultimately integration will have you look LESS like your own type in many way. Integration meaning complete self-acceptance and non-judgement of parts of yourself and therefore in other people too.
 

Red Memories

Haunted Echoes
Joined
Jun 3, 2017
Messages
6,315
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
215
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
The theory is to change the middle letter.
so techincally ENFPs match would be ESFPs. Not saying this is accurate.
I am xNFP and I tend to gel very well with INFJs. So.
 

Dreamer

Potential is My Addiction
Joined
Jul 26, 2015
Messages
4,539
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
794
I feel as though I've come across a fair number of NFJs in real life to have a feeling of whether these two types would be complimentary to me in a long term/serious relationship. The INFJ is easily the more compatible of the two for me. What I've noticed of these two types though, is the thing that tends to rub me the wrong way more often than not, from any type really, is when I start to feel my walls caving in and I start to feel confined emotionally, and metaphorically. So long as I am given my space, a space for me to grow and expand on my own, of my own self-reflection, then everything else is manageable and really a non-issue. Though, even if I weren't to find my SO in an NFJ, I will always be fascinated by their differing views and approaches to many of the same interests we can often share.


It's not entirely easy for me to describe, but I do see a benefit in growing WITH someone, as a way to bond and solidify a relationship further, but there is also a benefit to growing on your own, as an individual, within that relationship. It's hardly black and white and there is no definite edges to be seen, but I see a relationship as allowing both of these to occur at the same time, regardless of type pairings.
 

skippythecat

New member
Joined
Dec 1, 2013
Messages
48
Enneagram
9w1
Function wise, they are the opposite of us. Romantically, they need to be secure of who they are. I have few friends who are confident enfp types. I have many friends who are insecure and overbearing enfp types.
 

Lauren Ashley

Revelation
Joined
Aug 19, 2008
Messages
3,067
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I've dated a lot of ENFPs and I'm usually magnetically attracted to them at the outset. Ultimately I tended to find them to be a bit flighty, easily bored, and as 4 sx, they tended to make me feel possessive/jealous quickly by spreading their love far and wide, making me feel like I was just one of their "friends" (not all ENFPs are this way, and I suspect Enneagram plays a role in this). Eventually we just become friends and as friends I like them a lot.

I was with a high Ne INFP for four years and I think this was a far better match.
 

Peter Deadpan

phallus impudicus
Joined
Dec 14, 2016
Messages
8,883
I've dated a lot of ENFPs and I'm usually magnetically attracted to them at the outset. Ultimately I tended to find them to be a bit flighty, easily bored, and as 4 sx, they tended to make me feel possessive/jealous quickly by spreading their love far and wide, making me feel like I was just one of their "friends" (not all ENFPs are this way, and I suspect Enneagram plays a role in this). Eventually we just become friends and as friends I like them a lot.

I was with a high Ne INFP for four years and I think this was a far better match.

You're my only active type match on this whole forum, assuming I'm not actually Sx/So.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN.
 

Poki

New member
Joined
Dec 4, 2008
Messages
10,436
MBTI Type
STP
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I see the "connection" long term being a struggle. Mostly because they connect to each other differently. I see them getting along better with ISFJ
 

Lauren Ashley

Revelation
Joined
Aug 19, 2008
Messages
3,067
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
You're my only active type match on this whole forum, assuming I'm not actually Sx/So.

Social is dead last for me, unfortunately...I'm not a 5 wing though.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN.

Many places. I was around a lot more years ago, got busy with other activities and a little tired of the dynamic here. I'll be around every now and then.
 

stoic

New member
Joined
Sep 25, 2017
Messages
23
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
954
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I go in loops with an ENFP. They can be such fools that I have to offer reasoning upon every intellectual conversation. I prefer the ENTP in some regard. They're smart and well-spoken, they add to my thoughts rather than have me explain them. And, when I do explain them they're great listeners and incredibly agreeable with my indifference. ENTP's also are very respectful of my boundaries. We're both incredibly independent so it's nice to allow eachother mutual space when it's needed. ENFP's tend to break boundaries too often and they're really just too fast-paced for me. At the end of the day though, I always find a strange unexplainable attraction to the ENFP's. May it be their passion for knowledge and I'd only assume their attraction to my thoughts and intimacy.
 

Forever_Jung

Active member
Joined
May 23, 2009
Messages
2,644
MBTI Type
ESFJ
I'm not saying it wouldn't work, but I definitely don't think they're the perfect theoretical match.

Where it could go wrong: INFJ's will likely struggle with the inconsistency of attention, and ENFP's won't like feeling like an underachieving pupil.

Every person even within the same type are so different, so anything could happen. But since the question seems to be framed in a way that demands I make generalizations, that is the best I can do.
 

Fidelia

Iron Maiden
Staff member
Joined
May 31, 2009
Messages
14,497
MBTI Type
INFJ
Yeah, I think there could be attraction but it practical terms it would be hard to makes go of it long term.
 
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