User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 78

  1. #1
    Senior Member Melodrama's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    MBTI
    ESFP
    Enneagram
    964 sp/so
    Socionics
    EIE Ni
    Posts
    788

    Default Do you feel weird in conflict/standing up for yourself?

    I guess the two are different things; standing up for yourself doesn't always have to be conflicting. I hate conflict, I hate being assertive and I struggle to do so (might be a confidence thing.) I had a few issues, spoke calmly of them with the person, all was resolved. There was no fight. So why do I still feel weird? Why do I even feel bad?

    Does anyone else struggle with this? Is it cognitive functions at play or is it conscience or what?

  2. #2
    Robos Husband 💜👑💋 Lord Lavender's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    792 so/sp
    Socionics
    IEE Ne
    Posts
    5,373

    Default

    I have the kinda same issue as you do with conflict. I think in general its a 9 thing as nines fear separation from others so they can struggle to stand up to others which is a way to get separated from others. I think it could link to many cognitive functions but a main one is hmmmm id say Fe as Fe wants outer emotional harmony as that would be the main one.
    7w6 9w1 2w3 Saugine Pisces Sun,Libra Moon, Libra Rising



    My Dear Lady Lavender

    You are my heart and my soul and my love. You make me feel complete and whole. In my soul garden you are the prettiest sweetest little daisy there and yet the boldest rose at the same time. I love you so much princess <3.
    Likes Flâneuse, Froody Blue Gem liked this post

  3. #3
    Senior Member Tiger Owl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    584 sx/sp
    Socionics
    ILI Ni
    Posts
    1,153

    Default

    No.
    INTJ 5w4 sx/sp 584 ILI-Ni

  4. #4
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    43,538

    Default

    I have a pretty strong Nine component and yeah, I hate conflict. I'd rather have a mutual discussion, share ideas / be informational, and reach a consensus together.

    If you see me getting harsh and taking really strong stances, they are things I have come to believe in ... but inside I'm still kind of cringing and I feel unsettled and out of sorts regardless. It's not my preferred engagement mode to just fight.

    However, I've learned in life sometimes scrapping is necessary. And I have definitely had to learn to be direct and make clear-cut decisions and stick to them, simply to get things done that I have responsibility over.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #5
    Its time. Cassandra's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    14,757

    Default

    Not anymore.

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    27,091

    Default

    No, never did, I just wish I had it to do less often, its become extremely wearing.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Melodrama's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    MBTI
    ESFP
    Enneagram
    964 sp/so
    Socionics
    EIE Ni
    Posts
    788

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Cat Brainz View Post
    I have the kinda same issue as you do with conflict. I think in general its a 9 thing as nines fear separation from others so they can struggle to stand up to others which is a way to get separated from others. I think it could link to many cognitive functions but a main one is hmmmm id say Fe as Fe wants outer emotional harmony as that would be the main one.
    That sounds accurate. I'm all about harmony, I like it when things are calm and everyone is getting along. And even if you need to talk about things, you know.. you don't want to rock the boat. I feel better using my voice, honestly, and I think I need to really get used to that. But it's so weird.
    Likes Lord Lavender liked this post

  8. #8
    Senior Member Melodrama's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    MBTI
    ESFP
    Enneagram
    964 sp/so
    Socionics
    EIE Ni
    Posts
    788

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Totenkindly View Post
    I have a pretty strong Nine component and yeah, I hate conflict. I'd rather have a mutual discussion, share ideas / be informational, and reach a consensus together.

    If you see me getting harsh and taking really strong stances, they are things I have come to believe in ... but inside I'm still kind of cringing and I feel unsettled and out of sorts regardless. It's not my preferred engagement mode to just fight.

    However, I've learned in life sometimes scrapping is necessary. And I have definitely had to learn to be direct and make clear-cut decisions and stick to them, simply to get things done that I have responsibility over.
    I think I am the same way. And I have a 9 in my enneagram too! I definitely need to get used to speaking my mind, and I don't really go for it unless I feel like I need to, if there's something I strongly believe in. But beyond that, I don't speak up, unless something is really bothering me. Even then it's hard, but I guess I need to get used to that. I was told I wasn't wrong/didn't hurt anyone's feelings (and I made it clear I wasn't trying to hurt anyone, and I would never go out and hurt someone's feelings just because, either.)

  9. #9
    Digital ambition Virtual ghost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    11,561

    Default

    To be honest life without any conflict is often quite boring to me, from what I gathered I can even get depressed if thing are constantly too nice. Therefore quite often I hear that I should be nicer to people or less opinioned. To some degree I can do that but eventually you have to give me some place to unleash all the energy.

  10. #10
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    8w9
    Posts
    11,346

    Default

    No.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

Similar Threads

  1. [NT] Do You Feel Much In Your Dreams?
    By ReflecTcelfeR in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 61
    Last Post: 07-03-2019, 09:49 PM
  2. What do you feel like in the morning?
    By Ravenetta in forum Health and Fitness
    Replies: 41
    Last Post: 06-02-2012, 11:33 AM
  3. [NT] NTPs and NTJs: Do you feel more in common with each other, or with STPs and STJs?
    By Zarathustra in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 01-03-2011, 03:07 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO