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  1. #71
    幽霊||๏ sᴏʟɪᴛᴀʀʏ ʀᴇɪɢɴ Hexcoder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by anticlimatic View Post
    I know a mom who had to cut her own daughter loose for the same reason. The father figure died young and the daughter ended up becoming a sociopath. 10 or so 'last chances' after being used, manipulated, and otherwise taken advantage of before she finally faced reality and cut her loose for good (or at least for now).

    Wow, that's really sad. Sometimes that's just doing what you have to do though. I'm not in contact with several family members because of abuse or other reasons. The past is the past, I'm doing much better now that I am away from them all and on my own. Some get a life rich with family, others get a life rich with freedom for the opportunity to...idk, maybe travel? A lot of people would love to but can't because they have families. It's all a matter of perspective. You get what you're given in life, may as well do something positive with what you've got. Can't change it, may as well find a way to enjoy it. There's no sense in being miserable about it. @I, Tonya

  2. #72
    7w8 3w4 1w2 I, Tonya's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hexcoder View Post
    Wow, that's really sad. Sometimes that's just doing what you have to do though. I'm not in contact with several family members because of abuse or other reasons. The past is the past, I'm doing much better now that I am away from them all and on my own. Some get a life rich with family, others get a life rich with freedom for the opportunity to...idk, maybe travel? A lot of people would love to but can't because they have families. It's all a matter of perspective. You get what you're given in life, may as well do something positive with what you've got. Can't change it, may as well find a way to enjoy it. There's no sense in being miserable about it. @I, Tonya
    Hm, yeah. I understand kids can become spawns from hell as @anticlimatic was saying. They develop into their own being whether good or bad to a point where it's not really the parent "influence" including the good and bad. When you grow up, you either get along with your parents or you don't- hasn't much to do with rebellion or being difficult, just purely different.

    That being said, I find it very unsettling when there's this unsaid rule of young adults expected to always love, respect, and obey their parents.

    I believe in balance. There are parents who are not living up to their role of being a parent, in fact they know they're flawed; never the less they demand their kids to live up to a role of being their son or daughter.

    As for what hexcoder is saying, being alone has a lot of advantages, especially positive ones when you finally leave the negativity family brings on you. Its sickening to know they even if you needed your family to be there for you, whether it be financially or emotionally.... they know this too well and use it as a way to manipulate. They will hold back even after you've given all yourself to them. R.I.P.
    Promise me. From here on out, never again waste new tears on the past.
    ~Along With the Gods
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  3. #73
    ✡️ Melodrama's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hexcoder View Post

    Enneagram: E9
    Big 5: Low Assertiveness (an Extroversion Facet), High Agreeableness (especially its Cooperation Facet)

    You're probably just afraid of it causing friction between you and the other person.
    I can see that.
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  4. #74
    Upside-Down Rainbow Maya Dawn's Avatar
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    I feel... guilty, standing up for myself...

    [974 here]
    “The world breaks everyone, then some become strong at the broken places.” ~Ernest Hemingway

    Johari: https://kevan.org/johari?name=~MS*ANGEL~
    Nohari: https://kevan.org/nohari?name=~MS*ANGEL~

    Quote Originally Posted by Nijntje View Post
    "And then, raising my lids slowly and looking out from underneath my lashes, i captured him with my eyes"

  5. #75
    Mastermind Fieldmarshal Sacrophagus's Avatar
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    I feel in control.
    الخَيلُ وَاللَيلُ وَالبَيداءُ تَعرِفُني *** وَالسَيفُ وَالرُمحُ وَالقِرطاسُ وَالقَلَمُ
    Swift steeds, dreary nights, and the desolate wasteland, all know me full well
    As do the sword, the spear, the paper and the pen.
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  6. #76
    幽霊||๏ sᴏʟɪᴛᴀʀʏ ʀᴇɪɢɴ Hexcoder's Avatar
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    I don't know, with me. I'm a bit of both. I feel in control of how I am. I think I'm somewhat passive and avoidant sometimes, though I will try to reason with people and speak my mind, partly to avoid the toxic accumulation that leads to explosion...but once a certain line is crossed the inner demon in me wants to come out...and I use the word wants to for a reason. I've been that way since I was little, even as a toddler. At a certain point I just stand my ground and don't back down. I conquer, win, get it over with, in defense of myself or someone being bullied or something. I can choose to never do this also if I believe it's for the better.

    It all comes down to core beliefs.

  7. #77
    Fire and Blood The Cat's Avatar
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    Omg yes! So much. I don't understand it. Its maddening.
    The marquis de Carabas was not a good man, and he knew himself well enough to be perfectly certain that he was not a brave man. He had long since decided that the world, Above or Below, was a place that wished to be deceived, and, to this end, he had named himself from a lie in a fairy tale, and created himself--his clothes, his manner, his carriage--as a grand joke.

  8. #78
    Senior Member batteries included's Avatar
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    Yeah, I do feel a bit strange when engaging in conflict. Kinda sucks actually. But that doesn't mean I don't perpetuate it subconsciously...

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