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[MBTI General] NF-NT pairing

*poke*

New member
Joined
May 28, 2008
Messages
40
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
3w2
I read in David Keirsey's "Please Understand Me II" that the most common marriage pairing for NFs was with NTs, and NTs with NFs. I'm a female NF dating a male NT, and before I heard Keirsey's rationale, I was uncertain whether it would work out because of the way we communicate - even if one of the best things is, in fact, the way we communicate :). We share abstract though (intuition), but sometimes I am too conflict-avoidant for a Rationale.

Is anyone else in an NF-NT pairing, or has been in one, or know of one? I had always believed NF-NF would be ideal for me personally, although I wouldn't want someone exactly like me, and this is actually working quite well. What is everyone's thoughts on NF pairing with the different Types? What do you imagine as your ideal, and what are you actually compatible with?
 

Oleander

New member
Joined
Sep 30, 2008
Messages
86
MBTI Type
INFP
I'm INFP and so far have a pretty good relationship with an ISFJ even though we met over the Net and have only spent two weeks actually together. We knew each other the moment we met. At the same time we know she can't give her home up to come to me and I can't face regular work of the kind that would ever allow me to be equal with what she has already. So we meet and we are great friends and we sleep together but she has her husband and I hope for another Friend in this country.
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
3,166
MBTI Type
INFP
I think Keirsey had to get to that conclusion or his NF wife wouldn't talk to him anymore. I wouldn't know personally, thought, since I'm not sure I've ever met NT girls.

Myers has a different approach that seems to work out better. Three letters in common. There were some statistics supporting this in "gifts differing"...
 
B

ByMySword

Guest
All of my interactions with NTs have been awesome. I'd love to meet an ENTP female one day.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I date nothing but NTs. Nothing wrong with NFs whatsoever, just my past history is NTP with very little variance, except for an occasional ISTP.
 

Brendan

Guerilla Urbanist
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
911
MBTI Type
ENFJ
What is everyone's thoughts on NF pairing with the different Types? What do you imagine as your ideal, and what are you actually compatible with?

I've never met an NT that I haven't gotten along with. From description alone, I'd say my ideal type to form a relationship with would be an NTJ.
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
I've never been in a real relationship, but I tend to like INTJs or ENTPs. Maybe INTP maybe ENTJ but defiently maybe INTJ or ENTP given other factors as well of course.
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
16 years and counting with my NT and we still like each other.
 

SillyGoose

New member
Joined
Jun 11, 2008
Messages
243
MBTI Type
EXXP
I seem to be attracted to more NT's than any other type.

Communication is the *key* to success, I believe :)
 

raindancing

actinomycetes
Joined
Feb 28, 2008
Messages
346
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I'm married to an INTP. We met on the internet and have been married for 10 years now. It's a great relationship, I hesitate to call anything perfect, but it couldn't get much better. :wubbie:

I'd be happy to answer any specific questions. :)
 

Nonsensical

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
4,006
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7
I don't know, I mean..Ideally, I'd want to marry an INFP, if that makes sense..but other then that, it seems most of my relationships have been in NTs, and I really like them..even as friends..most of my friends are INTP and ENTP.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
May I admit something? I feel like INFPs are the irresistible force. Like they can have whatever/whomever they want because they're so mysterious and strong. I always feel unequal to them. :(
 

Mondo

Welcome to Sunnyside
Joined
Mar 1, 2008
Messages
1,992
MBTI Type
EsTP
Enneagram
6w7
I think I get along well with most Intuitive types.
I have more NT friends but am more likely to get into a relationship with an NF- I think this has to do with gender more than anything else.
NF guys are rare and NT chicks are very rare!
I know probably 5-10 NT chicks out of the hundreds of women I've met in my life.
Most girls are way too squealing and hugging and too filled with psuedo-happiness to be NT. Even the ENTP girls avoid such behavior..
 

SuperFob

New member
Joined
Aug 7, 2008
Messages
264
MBTI Type
INFJ
NT's? Hmmmm, I dunno. I'd like to have them as friends, but I'm not sure about an NT as a romantic partner. The thing about me is that I would really need to feel loved and find a partner willing to show me plenty of affection in our relationship (that's not the only thing I look for, obviously, but it's important for me), and I can't imagine an NT giving that as much as an F. Then again, I don't have any experience with an NT, so maybe I'm wrong on this?

Personally, I would like to be with an NFP.
 

disregard

mrs
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
7,826
MBTI Type
INFP
May I admit something? I feel like INFPs are the irresistible force. Like they can have whatever/whomever they want because they're so mysterious and strong. I always feel unequal to them. :(

Of what value is attracting people with your mystery and strength if they turn away in the face of the person you've had to become to seem strong and mysterious?
 

gloomy-optimist

New member
Joined
Oct 9, 2008
Messages
305
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w3
NTs and I tend to get along well, but I don't know about a relationship with one; they are fun people, and my sister, roommate, and quite a few friends are NT.
But communicating with them can be a real pain sometimes....they have a slight tendency not to listen to my ideas unless I try to pound it into their brains. They're fine otherwise, but talking politics, religion, anything like that, and they're really prone to just talk over you...
But that might just be my experience with them. I do know a lot of very intelligent, headstrong, younger NTs, so I might be a bit too quick to judge :D Either way, I think I'll wait a few years before I really make a conclusion on that.
 

karenk

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2008
Messages
160
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I think Keirsey had to get to that conclusion or his NF wife wouldn't talk to him anymore. I wouldn't know personally, thought, since I'm not sure I've ever met NT girls.


Would an NT really change his published conclusions just to placate his wife? That would be absurd imho, but anything's possible. Anyway I consider my ideal (in theory) to be an enneagram 5 intp. I don't have that kind of interest in the other NT types though.
 

tenINsFJ

Permabanned
Joined
May 4, 2008
Messages
479
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
1w9
I'm not really interested in an NT pairing unless it's an NTP (they tend to be more sensitive/flexy in their manner)... and especially not an STJ pair because T guys would tend to rely on me for all the F needs of the relationship and I'd really really hate that, I can't maintain it. I need some level of vulnerability and sensitive interaction and it would be like pulling teeth, it would always be up to me to initiate everything. That would SUCK. And with harder "T" types, my own T expressions would always feel second-rate.

So... no deal. (Although I love the intellectual level of conversation. But I can have that with ANYONE, I don't need to be romantically involved with someone to get that from them.)

That's why I tend to like the more Fe + N males, they're intuitive but they also have a consistent way of interaction with others that I can depend on and have some expectations for and so I wouldn't have to keep invest lots of energy to stay connected all the time, it would be easier to negotiate and know what you can count on and not count on. I mesh well with xNFJ.

jennifer = <3
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,187
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
jennifer = <3

Sorry, my bad -- I didn't look at the forum when I was posting (and mods can access all the private forums, so I didn't realize I was here!), I am going now!

:blush:
 

Dwigie

New member
Joined
Aug 25, 2008
Messages
658
MBTI Type
INFP
Funny thing is mostly NTs gravitate towards me while I "run" away from them because they get "stingy" if their Ts are too high for me :). I appreciate them as very good friends though, they always crack me up and help me "reason" because I can get hysterical.:laugh:, it's always nice to have that necessary whack on the head.(usually NTJs) but NTPs are "fun".
 
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