[INFJ] Are INFJs jealous of INFPs?

[Virgo1987]

This thread isn't meant to hurt anyone's feelings, just a question. I know it's human nature to be jealous in small ways, but could the way an infp reacts to life make an infj jealous -- and if so, what would the reactions be from the infj. I don't think theyd ever come right out snd say that they were jealous, so what would they do or how would they act instead?

 

[Ghost]

No. Just no to everything here.

 

[iwakar]

lol

 

[Virgo1987]

Ok... sorry I asked.

 

[iwakar]

Ok... sorry I asked.

I think people get jealous of people.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

Perhaps this was merely a projection on your part .... are you jealous of INFJs?

 

[Virgo1987]

My infj friend knows I'm envious of her writing skill and her book smarts. She's known for years.

I just meant jealous in the sense that infps go about decision making differently than infjs. Infj's need people to bounce their ideas off of, infps don't. Infjs take a long time to process things, infps seem to be quicker to process and forgive while infj's keep you doorslamed (and out of the blue, on your part, not theirs) until next christmas or forever.

Like I said it was not a question meant to upset anyone. I just wondered what some opinions or experiences were. I do apologize to anyone I might have offended.

 

[Fidelia]

I don't think anyone would be offended. I can see why it would be nice to not deal with my downsides, but I don't think I'd like to trade. I like being what I am even if it's sometimes inconvenient.

 

[Ghost]

Ok... sorry I asked.

My infj friend knows I'm envious of her writing skill and her book smarts. She's known for years.

I just meant jealous in the sense that infps go about decision making differently than infjs. Infj's need people to bounce their ideas off of, infps don't. Infjs take a long time to process things, infps seem to be quicker to process and forgive while infj's keep you doorslamed (and out of the blue, on your part, not theirs) until next christmas or forever.

Like I said it was not a question meant to upset anyone. I just wondered what some opinions or experiences were. I do apologize to anyone I might have offended.

Okay. I don't want you to become inhibited in making new threads and posts. It's just that it's easy for me to look at the OP and perceive some sort of superiority on the part of INFPs based on how the question is framed. I didn't want any part of that.

But I do have some ideas after reading your third post and rethinking this topic. I'll get back to this tomorrow after I've mulled it over.

 

[Forever]

My infj friend knows I'm envious of her writing skill and her book smarts. She's known for years.

I just meant jealous in the sense that infps go about decision making differently than infjs. Infj's need people to bounce their ideas off of, infps don't. Infjs take a long time to process things, infps seem to be quicker to process and forgive while infj's keep you doorslamed (and out of the blue, on your part, not theirs) until next christmas or forever.

Like I said it was not a question meant to upset anyone. I just wondered what some opinions or experiences were. I do apologize to anyone I might have offended.

Actually for the bouncing off of ideas, I heard it was flipped. INFP's use Ne (extraverted in ideas, so breadth) so exchanging ideas. whereas INFJ's use Ni (introverted in ideas, in depth) so they keep more to themselves.

While the forum has a mixed opinion on forgiveness, INFP's are likelier to hold grudges should you step on a value, even if you insult infj's personal feelings, if you like stop, infj's will forgive you.

or me, yes.

 

[Dreamer]

I second [MENTION=19719]Forever[/MENTION] on this. If anything, I'd say INFPs need to bounce ideas off more than INFJs. Te needs to vocalize their thoughts and thinking as well from what I understand, and even though it's your last function, it is still there. Ni doms instead, tend to absorb and gather information and require time to process that information, on their own. I can and sometimes do go off on my own to process things and to come up with new ideas, but it's a much slower process for me than working ideas out with other people, and I sometimes find my best ideas come from when I have others to collaborate with, so why not?

And when it comes to forgiveness or open-mindedness, true, INFPs can be very open-minded and see beyond a person's flaws, but if you cross an Fi user's boundaries or values, they can be very quick to instantly shut someone out. if I'm interacting with someone and just having a good time, and then they suddenly cross a value or offend me, I won't tell them, but I almost just shut down at that point and will basically excuse myself from the situation at that point. I won't make the situation awkward or anything and just play it off to save face, but in my head, I've written that person off completely at that point. The only way for me to really forgive that person then, is to return to Ne and rationalize the situation out to myself in my head. But even if I can come to terms with what had happened, there will always be that lingering feeling of that event always tied with that person.

 

[Norrsken]

Envy and jealousy is something that every type can succumb to. Its normal and its human nature.
The trick is to not let it overcome you or make you do bad things just to make yourself feel better- it never works.
I'm envious of SJ types because they are the norm and they are able to follow social protocols much easily than I ever could. I'll always look like an outsider to other people.
Of course, I'm stereotyping, and I'm sure there are SJs out there who can also feel like outsiders sometimes.

Hug yo self, OP, you are awesome.

 

[Virgo1987]

Actually for the bouncing off of ideas, I heard it was flipped. INFP's use Ne (extraverted in ideas, so breadth) so exchanging ideas. whereas INFJ's use Ni (introverted in ideas, in depth) so they keep more to themselves.

While the forum has a mixed opinion on forgiveness, INFP's are likelier to hold grudges should you step on a value, even if you insult infj's personal feelings, if you like stop, infj's will forgive you.

or me, yes.

It could be -- I just know that when writing with a friend, she always bounced ideas off of me and she is an INFJ. I mean every single thing she wanted to write, she bounced it off of two or three ideas and I was just like can you hurry up and pick one and just write it? But it was a process.

An INFJ here told me that it's normal for infj's to want to bounce ideas off of other people.

That's funny... my INFJ friend admitted to me that she can not let go of a grudge or forgive that easily. She still isn't speaking to me after nearly two months now so I'd say she's having the harder time considering I've apologized until I'm blue in the face and I wish to just repair the friendship.

I used to hold grudges when I was a kid and a teenager, but now that I'm an adult it's pointless for me to hold a grudge especailly with close friends and family. Life is too short.

 

[Virgo1987]

I second [MENTION=19719]Forever[/MENTION] on this. If anything, I'd say INFPs need to bounce ideas off more than INFJs. Te needs to vocalize their thoughts and thinking as well from what I understand, and even though it's your last function, it is still there. Ni doms instead, tend to absorb and gather information and require time to process that information, on their own. I can and sometimes do go off on my own to process things and to come up with new ideas, but it's a much slower process for me than working ideas out with other people, and I sometimes find my best ideas come from when I have others to collaborate with, so why not?

And when it comes to forgiveness or open-mindedness, true, INFPs can be very open-minded and see beyond a person's flaws, but if you cross an Fi user's boundaries or values, they can be very quick to instantly shut someone out. if I'm interacting with someone and just having a good time, and then they suddenly cross a value or offend me, I won't tell them, but I almost just shut down at that point and will basically excuse myself from the situation at that point. I won't make the situation awkward or anything and just play it off to save face, but in my head, I've written that person off completely at that point. The only way for me to really forgive that person then, is to return to Ne and rationalize the situation out to myself in my head. But even if I can come to terms with what had happened, there will always be that lingering feeling of that event always tied with that person.

I can kind of see this, but with strangers this happens to me or co-workers. Never friends. I would never shut someone that was close to me out. I'd get upset or mad, but it wouldn't last for that long because it takes more out of me to be upset and mad than it is for me to just not be. Maybe that's just a personal thing though and not a personality thing?

I've never bounced very many of my ideas off of anyone. I'll think about it within myself for quite sometimes (sometimes some things require more thought process), but then I'll just go with it. A few times I spoke with a few friends about certain things, like gaming or fan fiction and I'll be like does this look okay or does this sound okay? But nothing too constant to the point I'm obsessively trying to make it better or perfect or that I lose my original idea that I decided on by myself in the first place.

My INFJ friend is the one that finds it incredibly hard to make a decision even on the littlest thing. I think her process is much slower because she'd be stuck on the same thought and asking my opinion on it for a month or more, and then by the time she wrote something it was an entirely new idea or something I didn't exactly expect. Maybe I wasn't paying too much attention or I grew confused with all the back and forth before her part was written.

 

[Virgo1987]

Envy and jealousy is something that every type can succumb to. Its normal and its human nature.
The trick is to not let it overcome you or make you do bad things just to make yourself feel better- it never works.
I'm envious of SJ types because they are the norm and they are able to follow social protocols much easily than I ever could. I'll always look like an outsider to other people.
Of course, I'm stereotyping, and I'm sure there are SJs out there who can also feel like outsiders sometimes.

Hug yo self, OP, you are awesome.

Agreed.

I don't know about the SJ types, but what is with the INFJs? My infj friend told me how awkward she is in the world, but I always found her to be normal. Though now she's normal... she's also a lot of work I'm realizing. Not that that's a bad thing either, but it's something I never knew before.

 

[Dreamer]

I can kind of see this, but with strangers this happens to me or co-workers. Never friends. I would never shut someone that was close to me out. I'd get upset or mad, but it wouldn't last for that long because it takes more out of me to be upset and mad than it is for me to just not be. Maybe that's just a personal thing though and not a personality thing?

I've never bounced very many of my ideas off of anyone. I'll think about it within myself for quite sometimes (sometimes some things require more thought process), but then I'll just go with it. A few times I spoke with a few friends about certain things, like gaming or fan fiction and I'll be like does this look okay or does this sound okay? But nothing too constant to the point I'm obsessively trying to make it better or perfect or that I lose my original idea that I decided on by myself in the first place.

My INFJ friend is the one that finds it incredibly hard to make a decision even on the littlest thing. I think her process is much slower because she'd be stuck on the same thought and asking my opinion on it for a month or more, and then by the time she wrote something it was an entirely new idea or something I didn't exactly expect. Maybe I wasn't paying too much attention or I grew confused with all the back and forth before her part was written.

Oh yes, actually what I really meant is what you had mentioned. I don't instantly shut out close friends and family. Well, I will for a brief moment so that I can go back and process things, but then I'll be back and things will be just like before. With just any other friend (I use the term fairly loosely) acquaintances really, then I can easily shut them out for good. But if someone has found their way into my inner circle of friends, then they're pretty much in for good.

And I'm happy you shared your perspective with your Ne. I only really know what it's like to be me, and what it's like for inferior Ne users, but I have little practical knowledge of how it comes out in aux or tert users. Conceptually, I know how it is utilized of course. But yes, thank you for sharing

 

[Forever]

It could be -- I just know that when writing with a friend, she always bounced ideas off of me and she is an INFJ. I mean every single thing she wanted to write, she bounced it off of two or three ideas and I was just like can you hurry up and pick one and just write it? But it was a process.

An INFJ here told me that it's normal for infj's to want to bounce ideas off of other people.

That's funny... my INFJ friend admitted to me that she can not let go of a grudge or forgive that easily. She still isn't speaking to me after nearly two months now so I'd say she's having the harder time considering I've apologized until I'm blue in the face and I wish to just repair the friendship.

I used to hold grudges when I was a kid and a teenager, but now that I'm an adult it's pointless for me to hold a grudge especailly with close friends and family. Life is too short.

She's probably a mistyped INFP. They can test as INFJ because they're judging first people then perceive.

Fe maintains presentation. Fi is much more serious to their feelings.

 

[Norrsken]

I don't know about the SJ types, but what is with the INFJs? My infj friend told me how awkward she is in the world, but I always found her to be normal. Though now she's normal... she's also a lot of work I'm realizing. Not that that's a bad thing either, but it's something I never knew before.

Probably bad experiences with being bullied of being ~that weird kid~ and now cannot let go of that insecurity issue.

 

[Virgo1987]

Oh yes, actually what I really meant is what you had mentioned. I don't instantly shut out close friends and family. Well, I will for a brief moment so that I can go back and process things, but then I'll be back and things will be just like before. With just any other friend (I use the term fairly loosely) acquaintances really, then I can easily shut them out for good. But if someone has found their way into my inner circle of friends, then they're pretty much in for good.

And I'm happy you shared your perspective with your Ne. I only really know what it's like to be me, and what it's like for inferior Ne users, but I have little practical knowledge of how it comes out in aux or tert users. Conceptually, I know how it is utilized of course. But yes, thank you for sharing

I wish my INFJ friend thought that way about friends. In her world it's what either one of us "deserve" when it comes to friendships (which I think for her is more perfection than anything else, and perfection doesn't exist in any aspect) and there's no room for understanding on her part (or there is, but it's silent and just within herself). Which I guess kind of says a thing about INFP needing to speak to others -- in serious cases, as I've gotten older I might reach out to a friend or to and ask them what I should do. This friend is a perfect example, but when it comes to other things like I mentioned it's more of a, what's the hold up? Just pick something and do it. So in that respect an INFP and an INFJ might flip.

In the end once you're close to me, you're just always there and when you're not, it creates a large empty space that can't ever really be replaced. I've had interests, been a fan of things, and close friends since I was a small child and through my life I've taken everything with me. Unfortunately you can't take people with you because they're too complicated, but I've never told someone there isn't any room for them in my life. I accept a lot of people for who they are, rather than what they do. If that were the case, my life would be filled with those that are alike and I don't think that life should be that way because it's unrealistic in that sense. There's people that you're going to feel very comfortable around and very accepting, but as much as they say INFP's don't like conflict, I think we're better (or I'm better) at getting past it or through it than INFJs are. I think in the sense of handling situations, INFJ's are much more firm in their beliefs and if you cross them (even without knowing how deeply it bothers them) they're going to judge you and remove themselves from you like you are a virus. Not all of course, but some, from what I can tell so far. Some for both INFJs or INFPs.

 

[Virgo1987]

She's probably a mistyped INFP. They can test as INFJ because they're judging first people then perceive.

Fe maintains presentation. Fi is much more serious to their feelings.

That's something to look into, I guess. I tested as an INFP and another time so I took the test between the two and ended up as an INFP. I met someone else that's an INFP and she accepts me as one so I guess that helps, too?

My infj friend said she has always tested as an infj... so I don't know her story to be honest.