I've been making some changes in that way over the last few years and am surprised every time that being more honest about my own needs or preferences has resulted in much higher quality connections to people and that it has calibrated their expectations in good ways. Nobody like change, even good change, and so some of the backlash is them being disappointed when the rules have changed, or them just being people that need to be out of your life and your accommodations have allowed them to comfortably remain.
A long time ago, I started targeting a niche market of violin students that I wanted to teach rather than just accepting anyone. I found by raising the bar in that way and also narrowing my focus to people that shared the same vision as I had, I immediately reduced a lot of the frustrations I was encountering with people having ridiculous expectations, not paying on time, or not respecting my time. Since then, I still have had to learn over a long period of time that by having a clearly vision of what I want out of the relationship and conveying that directly and maintaining my boundaries, people who do not fit will move on and those that remain add to my emotional energy instead of sapping it.
I also have realized that because I have focussed so heavily on manipulating the outcomes so that I don't feel frustrated or upset (by overaccommodating) or so that I am not surprised emotionally by someone's reaction to something, my muscles for thinking on my feet or knowing how I felt in the moment atrophied horribly. I didn't know what I could expect from other people if I was myself unvarnished, and so it became a more scary prospect to take the chance of doing it. Every time I have now though, I am surprised at how frequently people actually treat me MORE thoughtfully, or even kind of appreciate knowing where their boundaries are. I no longer mentally weigh what I've done to accommodate them with how they have responded to me. I am trying hard only to give what I can do with a joyful heart, regardless of the response, which allows them not to feel manipulated by me (even if it wasn't consciously that I was doing it) and me not to feel or be taken advantage of or devalued. As an added bonus, the time lag in knowing my own feelings (or at least the extent of them) that I thought was an inherent part of being an INFJ is diminishing. That is incredibly freeing.
I don't have it cased by any means, but I am pretty excited to realize that a lot of what has weighed me down emotionally (nothing big but just death by a thousand tiny cuts/accommodations) doesn't need to happen. I also have seen a pattern throughout my life of emotionally inexpressive people or domineering people being attracted to me. Initially I was flattered, as they were intelligent, discriminating and normally not super open people who were telling me things they had never told anyone else etc. However, over time, people revert back to their habitual selves. I realized that my openness in listening and my accommodation and expectation that I shouldn't need to ask for someone to be reciprocally interested in my world was allowing me to perpetually be drawn into an odd sort of power imbalance of friendships or relationships where I was getting less out of it than they were. It's not that I'm saintly by any stretch, and I started to understand that since this was a reoccurring dynamic, I must be doing something that was allowing it to occur. As I'm changing my way of interacting, I think those factors are changing as well.