[Fe] How to Tell Apart NFJ's from SFJ's in Everyday Life

[great_bay]

The functions are different from each other

ENFJ- Fe-Ni-Se-Ti
INFJ- Ni-Fe-Ti-Se

ESFJ- Fe-Si-Ne-Ti
ISFJ- Si-Fe-Ti-Ne

NFJ's don't use introverted sensing. SFJ's don't use Introverted intuition.

 

[á´…eparted]

I just really don't generally remember my dreams for more than like a day. I'm also not superstitious at all, so that may have contributed to the impression.

I'm not the least bit supersitcious either. Actually I don't think any of us are.

Are you saying I'm more philosophical, or EJCC?

I'd say you are.

 

[Forever]

The functions are different from each other

ENFJ- Fe-Ni-Se-Ti
INFJ- Ni-Fe-Ti-Se

ESFJ- Fe-Si-Ne-Ti
ISFJ- Si-Fe-Ti-Ne

NFJ's don't use introverted sensing. SFJ's don't use Introverted intuition.

I'm more familiar with the theoretical stuff, it's just how to find them from the outside is what I'm looking at. Thank you for participating though.

 

[Kheledon]

Thanks so much for joining the forum just to answer my post. I think there's another forum achievement for me. Thanks for the well written response. This is quite an exceptional feat you did here and I very well appreciate it. I will be using you certainly as reference as there has been only a few sources that have been able to comprehend the depth of my questions because I understand some people have time restraints but I know you do so too! Whether you're here to stay or just merely here for the time being I can tell I'd easily like a person like you.

I am very much into the how and why into the things and you gave good concrete examples balancing both theory and application. Now by se in your instinctual variant reference do you mean by so or sp? Your wife very much reminds me of my mom who she would want more friends but is content at least on the outside, living a life with just her family and my dad. She doesn't need to worry too much about how her social status or anything really and she is quite introverted too.

Now while currently I'm in a haze whether I'm an INFJ or INTJ is that I am happy to express myself with running through surges of anxiousness because of high sensitivity, but it's so easy just to tell people up straight rather than trying to find a white lie or roundabout answer to tell someone the "polite" way. I know I cannot be IXFP because I don't have inferior Te responses but rather inferior Se responses. I believe my Fi is tertiary too because I don't have "deep feelings" at least frequent enough and I don't like to show my feelings as much even though sometimes that's all I want to do in hopes of a savior sometimes but I know even the most amazing people don't just respond to strangers in a very well caring tone because of all of a sudden motion which can seem like I'm only trying to manipulate or I'm crazy lol.

But all in all, I'm going to try to devise some questions or formulate some situations in my head how to best approach people and learn what they truly desire.

Thanks so much again.

I am pleased that you found my rather lengthy essay to be useful. I think I'd like you too if we were to ever meet. As an ENFJ, my charm works better in face-to-face encounters.

As to your question, I note that I used the wrong abbreviation for this instinct. By "se" I meant "sp" (i.e. security is my second instinct). I will edit my original post to reflect the proper abbreviation.

As to your use of a sensory descriptor for what you understand to be an intuitive concept (i.e. you used the word "picture" (an S word) to describe what I would call a "relationship" issue), then if, in fact, your mother is an S, it follows that you probably learned your language skills from her, and that may explain why you chose an S word when you were describing an N concept (i.e. a sensory and descriptive (S) word as opposed to relational and theoretical (N) word). Having read your posts, and considering that the vast majority of people who are willing to engage in these kinds of discussions are Ns, I'd say you look like an N to me.

Regards, and thank you for the kind words!

 

[Silent]

Hello. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Kheledon's wife. I'm an ISFJ. His description of me is accurate. Being an ISFJ means that Forums are not my natural habitat. I am usually very quiet and seem to have little to contribute. I am however trying to work on that. I have suffered significant brain damage throughout my childhood which makes things more difficult for me than would naturally be. If you have any questions about my type I would be happy to help you answer them.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

Hello. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Kheledon's wife. I'm an ISFJ. His description of me is accurate. Being an ISFJ means that Forums are not my natural habitat. I am usually very quiet and seem to have little to contribute. I am however trying to work on that. I have suffered significant brain damage throughout my childhood which makes things more difficult for me than would naturally be. If you have any questions about my type I would be happy to help you answer them.

Welcome to the forum, to you and your husband.

 

[Destiny]

So, it's been many of the forum members saying they know an INFJ or ENFJ in their lives and I'm utterly confused to find a member of my own kin, in fact pictures that have been shown of NFJ's still look SFJ-like to me, are only type 4's the ones that show themselves differently? or are type 4's just different in attitude? (which are like the majority of acclaimed INFJ types)

Please help. Maybe I'm passing by them all my days long failing to identify them. And sorry for the special snowflake excuse because I feel wildly different from anyone else, so what are some key indicators by either appearance, or by the way they introduce themselves, how so?

I'm desperate, I'm googling and so far I'm on tumblr:

^Apparently I'm not as cool.

I don't think it's difficult to tell them apart.

xNFJs usually have a more "out there" vibe to them.
xSFJs have a more concrete and down-to-earth vibe to them.


Like I have this coworker I met in the past, I knew immediately that she is an ISFJ, when we met for the first time, she is already trying to pry my entire life, constantly asking me questions about myself, she asks whether I have a bf before, she also asks about my previous work history, she wants to know everything about me, especially concrete details about me..


xNFJs are different. I met this coworker when I was working in the call centre in the past, and I am pretty sure is an INFJ. She has a very eccentric and out there thinking style, and she can also say some really insightful things at times, but of course this isn't obvious on the surface, she tends to appear like an extrovert on the surface, she has this tendency to crack jokes all the time, and her reason for cracking these jokes is because she felt that everybody in the office are feeling stressed out and she wants to lighten up the atmosphere in the office.

The INFJ seems to use her Fe differently from the ISFJ.

Moreover, I believe that xNFJs are more inclined to focus on the psychological inner workings of another person. If they have to use Fe, they are more inclined to ask someone, "Are you feeling sad?" than ask "Have you ever had a boyfriend before? How many boyfriends did you have? Which year was it? And why did you break up?"

So if you want to spot an xNFJ from an xSFJ in real life, you have to focus on the content of their conversations. It's the content of their conversation that reveals whether they use Ni-Fe or Si-Fe.

 

[Cellmold]

I am pleased that you found my rather lengthy essay to be useful. I think I'd like you too if we were to ever meet. As an ENFJ, my charm works better in face-to-face encounters.

As to your question, I note that I used the wrong abbreviation for this instinct. By "se" I meant "sp" (i.e. security is my second instinct). I will edit my original post to reflect the proper abbreviation.

As to your use of a sensory descriptor for what you understand to be an intuitive concept (i.e. you used the word "picture" (an S word) to describe what I would call a "relationship" issue), then if, in fact, your mother is an S, it follows that you probably learned your language skills from her, and that may explain why you chose an S word when you were describing an N concept (i.e. a sensory and descriptive (S) word as opposed to relational and theoretical (N) word). Having read your posts, and considering that the vast majority of people who are willing to engage in these kinds of discussions are Ns, I'd say you look like an N to me.

Regards, and thank you for the kind words!

Hello. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Kheledon's wife. I'm an ISFJ. His description of me is accurate. Being an ISFJ means that Forums are not my natural habitat. I am usually very quiet and seem to have little to contribute. I am however trying to work on that. I have suffered significant brain damage throughout my childhood which makes things more difficult for me than would naturally be. If you have any questions about my type I would be happy to help you answer them.

Welcome to you both.

Although a broader view might expose more revealing truths about the nature of type and people, regardless of what we assume to be accurate traits.

 

[ceecee]

I'm not the least bit supersitcious either. Actually I don't think any of us are.

My ENFJ thinks it's hilarious (superstition). Even really normal superstitions like not talking about a potential no-no in baseball.

 

[Forever_Jung]

My ENFJ thinks it's hilarious (superstition). Even really normal superstitions like not talking about a potential no-no in baseball.

I've always considered superstition to be a case of undifferentiated intuition, rather than an example of typical "N" types.

 

[chubber]

I've always considered superstition to be a case of undifferentiated intuition, rather than an example of typical "N" types.

Tertiary, Inferior Ne Function at it's best.

 

[Neshama]

We are probably the rarest MBTI type, only the NTJs are nearly as rare. For all three you're only going to get about two in one hundred of that type, so it's not surprising that you don't encounter many on a daily basis.

I relate to a lot of those descriptions in the original post. Feeling the need to apologize after opening up about your feelings. haha Yes! However, I tend to like more colorful clothes, unless I'm going out to dinner or somewhere more formal in which case I dress more conservatively. And I'm more of an ambivert when in public than just a people watcher.

You're a 749 tritype, Forever? I've been trying to figure out mine. I'm something with a 4 and either 9w1 or 1w9. I wouldn't rule out a 497 for myself. No idea if my instinctual variant stacking is sp/sx or so/sx. I haven't quite figured out yet how each of those would manifest in an INFJ 4.

No sir. You are guilty of a far more heinous crime. The crime of being a dude constantly using pictures of hot females in ur profile picture.

Which confuses men and lead them away from the path of Jesus. And straight into *inventive name for a cliché 80ies gay biker hangout* and other dens of inequities.

*throws handerchief at u*

I wasn't paying much attention and I thought Forever was female.

Oh right. Which reminds me. Infjs are WAY creepier than isfj.
That should help telling them appart

We prefer the term eccentric.

 

[EcK]

I wasn't paying much attention and I thought Forever was female.

My suspicions are as follow: he is a lesbian.
I would back up that assessment but it seems like I have left all my files at the office and I am on leave for the next 50 years.
Terrible happenstance really. How unfortuitous
( [MENTION=19719]Forever[/MENTION] the truth is out!)

We prefer the term eccentric.

But nothing worthwhile comes easy, so I'll keep calling INFJs creeps, dorks and other pet names for my own amusement.
Teaches them to strive for excellence, self actualization and all that.

 

[Neshama]

I did figure out my instinctual variant stacking to my satisfaction in the last couple of days. So/Sx.

For a type 4 this helps a great deal.
http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/enneagram-type-profiles/68728-type-4-enneagram-instinctual-subtypes.html

Finally found a description of Enneagram 4 that I relate to, with the So/Sx type.

I also read a lot of articles on type 4 and the instinctual variants in general.

Also, the videos this youtuber makes I just love. They gave me a little more insight into possible blindspots for INFJs.
https://www.youtube.com/user/mylianoir/videos

So maybe they'll help someone else reading this post that hasn't seen them.

 

[Forever]

I did figure out my instinctual variant stacking to my satisfaction in the last couple of days. So/Sx.

For a type 4 this helps a great deal.
http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/enneagram-type-profiles/68728-type-4-enneagram-instinctual-subtypes.html

Finally found a description of Enneagram 4 that I relate to, with the So/Sx type.

I also read a lot of articles on type 4 and the instinctual variants in general.

Also, the videos this youtuber makes I just love. They gave me a little more insight into possible blindspots for INFJs.
https://www.youtube.com/user/mylianoir/videos

So maybe they'll help someone else reading this post that hasn't seen them.

Yeah the YT user definitely smiles with Fe.

 

[OrangeAppled]

1. Interaction styles
INFJs gravitate more towards being in position of influence and directing people. They want to be the guides, not be guided. They frequently initiate organizing and directing people within their sphere, in a direct manner. They are trying to shape things inline with a vision.

ISFJs prefer to be more supportive than guiding, less need to be directly influential (although like all Fe types, they seek to create consensus), and they may even seek the influence of others to guide them. Unlike the other background style types, they don't seek out independence so much. They do more indirect initiation, suggesting things and trying to shape consensus as it emerges. They generally try to maintain things. Don't mistake any guilt-tripping, offering of unwanted advice, etc, as really taking a lead.

2. All the typical N vs S stuff.
Don't be fooled by ISFJs who like to read or have some intellectual interests. ISFJs may consume some abstract/theoretical stuff, but they do not really generate it. INFJs are not as obvious generators as NPs, but it is still there. It is usually a single focus for a time period, as opposed to multiple generations on a regular basis. They can switch the focus suddenly though, so not diehard loyalists like SFJs tend to be.

I almost mistyped an ISFJ recently as INFJ, because e6 can make some ISFJs seem to have a "depth", but she has no ideas of her own. She has no future vision, but just supports the ideas and direction of people she has established trust with.

3. Temperament
Do they fit the guardian, loyalist SJ archetype or the idealist, identity-seeking NF archetype? Don't confuse the loyalist dedication to maintaining certain ideals as idealistic. Think of idealism as a more imaginative and theoretical orientation to reality. NFs seek what is not there yet, not just maintaining, even if what is trying to be maintained never quite was (ie the Si romanticizing of the past).

4. Their vibe.
Do they feel THERE in a grounded, earthy way? Then ISFJ. Do they feel simultaneously absent, as if detached from the present mentally, but with a warm, laser focus in the face and eye? INFJ.

INFJs are very easy to spot. If you think they could easily be another type, then they probably are.

I actually come across INFJ males, arguably the least populous type, fairly regularly because they are incredibly easy to spot. Plus they are often trying to date me

 

[á´…eparted]

We are probably the rarest MBTI type

See below.

I actually come across INFJ males, arguably the least populous type, fairly regularly because they are incredibly easy to spot.

This has been my experience as well. INFJ's seem to be much more common than the statistics seem to lend towards. It could be that I know what to look for, but I find them fairly easy to point out as well. J's in general are pretty easy to sort for me. P's not so much.

 

[OrangeAppled]

See below.



This has been my experience as well. INFJ's seem to be much more common than the statistics seem to lend towards. It could be that I know what to look for, but I find them fairly easy to point out as well. J's in general are pretty easy to sort for me. P's not so much.

I honestly do not think they are much more common than the stats suggest....just visible because of a distinctive "air". Same goes for INTJ.

Until you identify it, then you can easily confuse quirky and intellectual Si-dom with Ni-dom. It is so much harder to define it in words than to notice it in person. But I realize that doesnt help the OP .

 

[Forever]

1. Interaction styles
INFJs gravitate more towards being in position of influence and directing people. They want to be the guides, not be guided. They frequently initiate organizing and directing people within their sphere, in a direct manner. They are trying to shape things inline with a vision.

ISFJs prefer to be more supportive than guiding, less need to be directly influential (although like all Fe types, they seek to create consensus), and they may even seek the influence of others to guide them. Unlike the other background style types, they don't seek out independence so much. They do more indirect initiation, suggesting things and trying to shape consensus as it emerges. They generally try to maintain things. Don't mistake any guilt-tripping, offering of unwanted advice, etc, as really taking a lead.

2. All the typical N vs S stuff.
Don't be fooled by ISFJs who like to read or have some intellectual interests. ISFJs may consume some abstract/theoretical stuff, but they do not really generate it. INFJs are not as obvious generators as NPs, but it is still there. It is usually a single focus for a time period, as opposed to multiple generations on a regular basis. They can switch the focus suddenly though, so not diehard loyalists like SFJs tend to be.

I almost mistyped an ISFJ recently as INFJ, because e6 can make some ISFJs seem to have a "depth", but she has no ideas of her own. She has no future vision, but just supports the ideas and direction of people she has established trust with.

3. Temperament
Do they fit the guardian, loyalist SJ archetype or the idealist, identity-seeking NF archetype? Don't confuse the loyalist dedication to maintaining certain ideals as idealistic. Think of idealism as a more imaginative and theoretical orientation to reality. NFs seek what is not there yet, not just maintaining, even if what is trying to be maintained never quite was (ie the Si romanticizing of the past).

4. Their vibe.
Do they feel THERE in a grounded, earthy way? Then ISFJ. Do they feel simultaneously absent, as if detached from the present mentally, but with a warm, laser focus in the face and eye? INFJ.

INFJs are very easy to spot. If you think they could easily be another type, then they probably are.

I actually come across INFJ males, arguably the least populous type, fairly regularly because they are incredibly easy to spot. Plus they are often trying to date me

I agree with you OrangeAppled once I meet an INFJ, they definitely do share a production of ideas rather than just supporting. But yeah Ne users take the cake when they generate ideas though. Ni tends to build or contemplate more than craft new ideas. Maybe it's just me, but in a classroom setting nobody raises their hand when they have an idea makes me think S's are in abundance. It gets sort of depressing when no one comes off as original or at least trying to be.

to your last.

Thank you for sharing quality advice.

 

[chubber]

So to become INFJ, all I have to do is try and date [MENTION=6561]OrangeAppled[/MENTION].