[INFP] What does a non-self focused Fi look like?

[Blackout]

Hey-oo ah-doodle do (imagine a rooster saying this)


I've been into typology for quite some time and active on other boards, so I feel an introduction isn't really all that necessary. Anyway, I wanted to stop by asking basically:

What does Fi look like when it's not focused completely or very much on itself? I was just really curious, and have been feeling a little confused about all of this in regards to how it effects me too. I was reading in some threads Fi vs Fe comparisons, and just in general brushing up on some type descriptions, and I had noticed that one of the often cited tenants of "fi" was that it tends to often be very focused on "self actualization" so I was wondering what Fi looks like when that isn't the main goal...or when/if it becomes more focused on the outer world, and individuals...


Also, I know many Fi-dom users are often found in helping positions, yet I often find descriptions, or accounts from experiences with Fi doms is that they are very self focused; and so that is sort of what brings me to this question, lol.

 

[Blackout]

Does Fi tend to be (when searching for connection in some way to other individuals) do we tend to find something that is all the while not always something that is outwardly definable or perhaps "objective" in terms of measuring it's usage or worth; but somehow resonates deeply with other human beings(and figured out using Fi), and thus using that (whatever it is) to connect to others through what resonates the most, perhaps even in spite of what the collective may say is worthy or not of value, importance etc? I hope this makes sense *sigh*

I guess if you were to simplify what I'm asking in a way, it's sort of: What does Fi bring to the table? what is the modus operandi of Fi? What purpose does it serve beyond self actualization? or does that desire for actualization ever lend itself to any other, or more breakthroughs?
Are we here to just make sure that the world doesn't forget that, you know "Hey, "I" matter too; the individual and self-hood is just as important as the collective.

I have always felt that in some way, we serve the purpose to try and prevent humanity from veering too close to the cliff by perhaps reminding them what really matters...But it's like the whole world that Fi inhabits is subjective almost. It's something we can't really prove by it's nature, nor I think should we often at times.

I've honestly been feelin' a little envious of XNFJ's lately. I think my 3-wing sort of sends me for a loop quite often, and I have realized it almost makes me seem a little like an FJ at times I think. I sort of have some stereotypical "Fe" traits, like awareness of the social climate and the like; though I do not think it's very natural. But my 3-wing always seems to drive me in some direction like that. I half battle wanting to always "be unique" while at the same time, still being at least a little bit "socially acceptable" (amongst other things of course)

 

[Gawain]

Being self-focused cannot be about being selfish if one is to self-actualize. I think that's the thing you're currently missing. I focus on myself, but if I notice myself behaving selfishly, I feel shame. This reminds me to put effort into being less selfish, and trying to be more thoughtful of others. It's an internal process, but it has outward results.

Also, keep in mind that just because some functions are on your go-to list and others are not, it doesn't mean that you don't also use those functions. Just because someone's best subject is Enlgish doesn't mean they can't do fractions. If you wish to develop a function that is more characteristic of another type, do it! It can only enrich your life and make you more uniquely you. Just know that as an INFP, your core functions will be there to back you up when you get in a rough spot.

 

[Blackout]

Being self-focused cannot be about being selfish if one is to self-actualize. I think that's the thing you're currently missing. I focus on myself, but if I notice myself behaving selfishly, I feel shame. This reminds me to put effort into being less selfish, and trying to be more thoughtful of others. It's an internal process, but it has outward results.

Also, keep in mind that just because some functions are on your go-to list and others are not, it doesn't mean that you don't also use those functions. Just because someone's best subject is Enlgish doesn't mean they can't do fractions. If you wish to develop a function that is more characteristic of another type, do it! It can only enrich your life and make you more uniquely you. Just know that as an INFP, your core functions will be there to back you up when you get in a rough spot.

Well no, I wasn't implying that the pursuit of self-actualization was selfish, but instead simply wondering what happens when it stops taking up such a large focus of your consciousnesses. I think everyone has periods where they need to look at themselves in the mirror, and figure out what they're doing. But I don't think that is a full on pursuit of self-actualization either.


I still focus on above all, what is important to me, and try not to just blindly succumb to a collectivist mindset, but my search for self has sort of ended in many ways I think. So I was just wondering how that would change my Fi usage, y'know. This is also where some of my confusion arises out of the Fi-Fe descriptions


I suppose it's values isn't it? FI-dom users can really seem different to one another depending on what they value...? so in a way wouldn't that mean that Fi is simply not that static? because it seems like then that above all it's what YOU choose to value, because it somehow resonates to you the most(for whatever reason)

 

[five sounds]

Hey-oo ah-doodle do (imagine a rooster saying this)


I've been into typology for quite some time and active on other boards, so I feel an introduction isn't really all that necessary. Anyway, I wanted to stop by asking basically:

What does Fi look like when it's not focused completely or very much on itself? I was just really curious, and have been feeling a little confused about all of this in regards to how it effects me too. I was reading in some threads Fi vs Fe comparisons, and just in general brushing up on some type descriptions, and I had noticed that one of the often cited tenants of "fi" was that it tends to often be very focused on "self actualization" so I was wondering what Fi looks like when that isn't the main goal...or when/if it becomes more focused on the outer world, and individuals...


Also, I know many Fi-dom users are often found in helping positions, yet I often find descriptions, or accounts from experiences with Fi doms is that they are very self focused; and so that is sort of what brings me to this question, lol.

I think it tends to be more individual-focused when turned outside the self. Like one person at a time, just fostering or fighting for their autonomy and personal power to do what they want.

 

[Blackout]

Okay, I think I've realized what it is.........


For one, I think the pursuit of "self actualization" is largely a Four type desire then anything. I bet if you looked at a an Fi-dom 2,3,6, or even 9, you'd probably get a totally different perspective.

But I think that like what has often been written; Fi and Fe-dom often reach, or at least TRY to reach similar conclusions overall. I think in general, they often times have the same end goal in mind. They (depending on values) want to make the world a better place, and help people. That's mostly what we want, yes? Either that or improve the lives of others, add to humanity, and society on a collective level.


The problem is that I think we do this in totally different ways. From like, the opposite ends of the spectrum, to where I think most of the confusion comes from...


Fe wants to help, sure. But often I think it's the collective first, then the individual last; and generally it's in terms of how they fit and are related to that collective. The collective, and group are always of focus and importance here, I think.


Fi it's the opposite. Fi wants to help make the collective easier for the individual to co-exist with. The group matters, sure, but often times only so far as the health of each individual member of that group. That's why I think Fi-users will tend to be more focused no individual rights, and topics RELATING to that. But we aren't inherently more selfish I believe. Also, I think often times we take what we have learned from our own experiences, and our own discoveries through the pursuit of "self-actualization" and use that as a way to help, or understand people I think.


I think though that, since Fi in society is often so disproved, we often times end up internalizing a negative perception of ourselves. I think that because of this, we wrestle with demons a bit longer maybe. Groups are always afraid of individuals, because you then have the possibility of having what could be 'dissenting' opinions, and that is always a threat to the health and ties of a group.

 

[Blackout]

I think it tends to be more individual-focused when turned outside the self. Like one person at a time, just fostering or fighting for their autonomy and personal power to do what they want.

But basically that...yes.

I guess it's pretty explanatory, it's just that I feel at times it gets a little muddled. Especially with all of the negativity and stereotypes. Of course, I wouldn't be surprised if this is how some types would really want it. I mean, some Fe-doms really hate Fi, lol. I almost wonder if they even realize it or not, but they constantly invalidate it. Sometimes I wonder if there's like some tiny smoke filled room somewhere, that they all congregate in and decide to collectively hate on Fi together, or something.

 

[Southern Kross]

What does Fi look like when it's not focused completely or very much on itself?

To explain this you really have to understand the way IxFPs think and process outside information.

Fe is a function that offers users a common yardstick for measuring others. It's a general guideline for making sense of the behaviour of others and what that behaviour means, in order to offer some sense of how you should react or behave in return. A mirror is often used as an analogy for Fe: your behaviour is reflected in me and vice versa. It is broad and can be a bit one-size-fits-all, but it is useful, efficient and is good at creating harmonious interactions. Fi doesn't have one common yardstick - it has many. There really isn't a guideline in the head of a FP about how to behave (or how others should); they figure out that as they go along. There's a disconnect between the FP and the other person that has to traversed. They have to look inside themselves and choose a yardstick for understanding and communicating with that particular person. So each time it is a tailored approach to individuals, which can be more specific and deeper than Fe, but is slower and more complicated to enact effectively.

FPs look at others through their lens of the self and their internal impressions, in order to shape or select a yardstick. INFPs (because it's easy just to speak about my own kind) tend to spend a lot of time introspecting about the fundamental aspects of the human condition - examining their instinctive ideas about values combined with patterns observed in others. Over time this then turns into a number of yardsticks through which to gain insight into and interpret the underlying thought processes behind everything. This pattern of thinking carries over into every interaction.

Even when, say, a INFP is interacting with another person everything we observe is channelled inward. It is measured against the self, against our impressions of what is 'right', and against what we know about all other human beings. This is a gateway into the mind of that other person. We don't put ourselves in others' shoes, we take off our own skull and screw on another persons' in its place.

So even when it isn't about us, we kinda make it about us. We have to personalize everything to make sense of it. Unfortunately people can interpret this as being self-absorbed and selfish. It can be at times of course, but it's not just pure navel-gazing - it's the only way we know how to interact.

So to answer your question: it looks much the same as self-actualization, because for INFPs making sense of ourselves is the foundation for making sense of others.

Does Fi tend to be (when searching for connection in some way to other individuals) do we tend to find something that is all the while not always something that is outwardly definable or perhaps "objective" in terms of measuring it's usage or worth;

In FPs, Fi is always tending toward Te; moving toward objectivity. Fi is very personal and high subjective but FPs are always seeking a path to translate that into more universal ideas of the human experience and find an application for it. We're searching for the nugget of universal truth within the complex and varied sources of information. I often think of Fi as having the answers without really knowing what the questions are yet - or of knowing the answer without having done the working (that proves the answer is correct). And because that thinking is so 'backwards', indirect means are often needed to communicate the ideas - hence why FPs are often creative.

I guess if you were to simplify what I'm asking in a way, it's sort of: What does Fi bring to the table? what is the modus operandi of Fi? What purpose does it serve beyond self actualization? or does that desire for actualization ever lend itself to any other, or more breakthroughs?

A lot of vague and hard to define, transferable skills that aren't often appreciated.

It offers a lot of insight and analytical skills when it comes to human factors. It can be used to remind others of what is important or creatively convey ideas. It can see and interpret the world in unique and unexpected ways.

 

[Southern Kross]

But basically that...yes.

I guess it's pretty explanatory, it's just that I feel at times it gets a little muddled. Especially with all of the negativity and stereotypes. Of course, I wouldn't be surprised if this is how some types would really want it. I mean, some Fe-doms really hate Fi, lol. I almost wonder if they even realize it or not, but they constantly invalidate it. Sometimes I wonder if there's like some tiny smoke filled room somewhere, that they all congregate in and decide to collectively hate on Fi together, or something.

That negative stuff goes both ways. Fe gets dumped on plenty, trust me. It's really important we stop reinforcing this victim narrative for Fi, because it's not really accurate, and is distracting and silly.

Sorry if this seems like I'm picking on you, but it's something you always see in the new, xNFP members around here and it's something that needs to be moved past.

 

[Blackout]

That negative stuff goes both ways. Fe gets dumped on plenty, trust me. It's really important we stop reinforcing this victim narrative for Fi, because it's not really accurate, and is distracting and silly.

Sorry if this seems like I'm picking on you, but it's something you always see in the new, xNFP members around here and it's something that needs to be moved past.

Sorry, but I think that's complete B.S.

Sure, here maybe that's true, but you can't forget that many users are coming in from the "real world" where things are completely different. So I guess you'll have to excuse me. Also, my intention was never to insult Fe, so it's not my fault if some members may get a little butthurt by what I wrote. I said nothing inflammatory or insulting. Why do you think I'm posting this in the first place? there's hardly anything all that positive about Fi out there.

And even the stuff that could be considered to be, is almost always surrounded by negativity. Like I have stated, this is why I have made the thread asking for second opinions.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Like Te ?

 

[PeaceBaby]

That negative stuff goes both ways. Fe gets dumped on plenty, trust me. It's really important we stop reinforcing this victim narrative for Fi, because it's not really accurate, and is distracting and silly.

Sorry if this seems like I'm picking on you, but it's something you always see in the new, xNFP members around here and it's something that needs to be moved past.

Why is it something that must be moved past rather than moved through? Apologies to sound contentious, but honestly, to me it's part of the journey of self-discovery, the blossoming of self that seeks to assert the validity of that existence. There's nothing silly about that. Standing up and saying, "Hey, my viewpoint has merit" remains an important checkpoint in that process.

 

[Southern Kross]

Sorry, but I think that's complete B.S.

Sure, here maybe that's true, but you can't forget that many users are coming in from the "real world" where things are completely different. So I guess you'll have to excuse me. Also, my intention was never to insult Fe, so it's not my fault if some members may get a little butthurt by what I wrote. I said nothing inflammatory or insulting. Why do you think I'm posting this in the first place? there's hardly anything all that positive about Fi out there.

And even the stuff that could be considered to be, is almost always surrounded by negativity. Like I have stated, this is why I have made the thread asking for second opinions.

No, it isn't inflammatory or insulting but it is part of a wider narrative that I tire of. Again, this isn't your fault. You're one among many saying this and I just want to make you aware of this. Fi is awesome and should have a voice, but lack of respect for it is not specific to Fe. Anyway I don't really want to get into this because it's a total derail and my intention behind this is so often misunderstood.

And read this for how the world shits on Fe - where ESFJ Anne Hathaway was pitted against ESFP Jennifer Lawrence during the 2013 Awards season.

 

[wolfnara]

Wouldn't that be Fe?

 

[Gawain]

Sure, here maybe that's true, but you can't forget that many users are coming in from the "real world" where things are completely different.

Prime example of Fi right there. Here's a quote to illustrate, and a link to the source:

"Introverted Feeling acts as a filter- it often is considering the worth of something based on the truth in which it is based. We decide whether something is worth standing up for based on its truth and significance. We often have feelings of a persons essence and this helps us to determine if something is fake or true. Introverted Feeling is often expressed through actions and feelings rather than words." - Understanding the Myers Briggs Type Indicator: The 8 Cognitive Functions


So if you're still wondering: "What does Fi look like when it's not focused completely or very much on itself?" You just answered your own question.

 

[misfortuneteller]

It would basically encourages people to be themselves.

This song is the perfect depiction of it:

 

[Fun in the Sun]

I think Fi is like a combo between what feels right and what is moral and ethical. Selfish people do what they want without thinking of other people. Fi users know what they like and what they don't like, but they also think about their actions and the actions of others and how they should be. We do it without being too emotionally expressive. I like to keep things real.

Fi= what I'm feeling and what I should do. Sometimes the two conflict and its tough to figure out what to do.