[ENFP] Delayed emotional response

[Poki]

I've so just experienced this^ I can dwell on what someone says and start to morph into what they see!

ENFP's are a HUGE product of their environment Due to objective judgement over subjective judgement fronted by a dom perception pulling everything in. While Ne is not sensory perception. It still is a perception that pulls everything in.

 

[five sounds]

Yeah I relate to this definitely. It's hard for me to access my emotions in the moment a lot of the time.

I've always thought it an Ne/7 thing. Like my default state is a little too removed for things to hit me right away. There's a 'lets just take a moment to take this in" reaction I have, both when I want and don't want to employ it. Not having an emotional reaction to bad news in the moment can feel undesirable. It conveys the wrong message about how I feel, and I often wish I were different in these instances. But when things start getting nutty, I'm happy to have this tendency to protect me from falling into the emotional chaos.

 

[Qlip]

I don't know if this is type related or of a developmental nature, but my feelings (Jungian) always trumps my emotions to the point that I need to stop and take consideration in myself. Depending on how stubborn I am, my emotional response can be delayed by years.

 

[thoughtlost]

Of course, I honestly don't know exactly how it relates to cognitive/jungian functions if it does at all, but I can see it being an Pe-dom thing since they are better at responding to situations in the moment. They don't need to "organize" experiences in their heads.

Because when you experience your feelings for things... you're sort of categorizing things instead of just letting the situation "be" and reacting to what just... is.

However, if this is a thing that not only Pe-doms feel, then I find it super easy to argue that it is indeed an introverted feeling thing. Could be wrong, but feeling in general uses subjective experiences or qualia (such as feelings) to categorize experiences so they can make decisions (after all, if you don't know it's a chair ...how would you know that you could sit on it BEFORE trying to sit on it?). The fact that this processing is delayed for some people could be a sign that the person isn't well-versed in categorizing things based on such qualia.

Which brings up the notion that this could be the case for those who DO NOT have feeling as a dominant function.

I saw someplace on this forum that Fi-dom people are "internally sure" of themselves, and I am going to ASSUME (...again, correct me if I am wrong....) that it means that they know what an experience means for them and/or it comes easily to them when they need/want to think about "meaning". That's why that when they do decide to express themselves ....they can sound really ...."sturdy" (at least that's the word I'd use to describe introverted feeling, based on what I've seen on this forum).

Fe-dom people ...of course, use qualia. However, I won't say it is sturdy as Fi although it can look that way superficially. Since it is extroverted, it's going to suppress all that "what does this experience mean for me? How do I feel about it independent of context?" So, just like Fi-dom, Fe-dom doesn't have a delayed response, but it has a "coated" response. I won't say sugar-coated, because being Fe doesn't mean that things are roses to you. It's just that the responses are masked, and you see the "sureness" of the mask. KEEP IN MIND THE MASK ISN'T NECESSARILY NOT TRUE/FAKE. It is whatever the extroverted feeler decides to put forth, unconsciously or consciously or I don't know.

For those who have extroverted feeling, but not in the dominant function and/or isn't well practiced with extroverted feeling, they can probably have a "delayed response". The difference that I see between what you guys are talking about and what I think might be happening in Fe-NOT DOM people is that Fi-NOT DOM people really just don't know yet. It hasn't hit them yet. You guys are simply responding to things objectively. Extroverted feeling isn't objective in and of itself, but it forces objectivity. It's like an oatmeal pancake they smother in syrup BEFORE they "take a bite". Meaning, we (being the fe-aux/NOT DOM).... can take things in ....but we really don't know what to do with that. It's not how we categorize our world and we don't respond immediately to things. So Fe-not dom can putter around (I'd assume the puttering is true of Si/Ni doms/Fe-auxes). Actually, I also read on this forum that Ni-Fe people have this weird "inaction-action" thing, where they lose their clarity for a period of time and seem "Pe-ish" but then have a sudden spurt of "action".

....I had more to say.... but I forgot...

 

[xenaprincess]

Also Fi is not as expressive as Fe. It is often far deeper and so until our core values are crossed we often just continue in our own little world. If someone however does cross our values, the emotions can become very powerful.

^This^

With emergency or abrupt situations that are not so close to my core values, I usually have a delayed internal and external response. I don't *feel* the thing right away.

With the whole moral dimension, which is something I've only noticed recently, flares something up in me. If I experience something close to me that violates my sense of right and wrong (being called a liar or see someone totally take advantage of a situation over and over), I am much closer to it feeling-wise. I respond with feeling, much sooner and sometimes have trouble NOT expressing myself outwardly.

I think there is also pretty horrible in trying to suppress outward expression of feelings as a feeling person. It's like trying to eat oneself. Not good.

 

[Kas]

It happens to me every time something big is happening (bad or good). I think it's shock firstly and then I can think clearly about what's happening again. Actually if it comes to bad events it is a good think. It allows me to act; then when I understand how scary or sad it was (usually when there is nothing more I can do)- it's paralyzing. I don't like this delayed emotional responce if it is about good things. People around me are happy and for me it's sometimes like everything is far away or like it is happening to someone else.

I'm not sure if all I wrote is type related. It's clearly a reaction for stress, probably it depends on some personality traits.

 

[andresimon]

^This^

With emergency or abrupt situations that are not so close to my core values, I usually have a delayed internal and external response. I don't *feel* the thing right away.

With the whole moral dimension, which is something I've only noticed recently, flares something up in me. If I experience something that close to me that violates my sense of right and wrong (being called a liar or see someone totally take advantage of a situation over and over), I am much closer to it feeling-wise. I respond with feeling, much sooner and sometimes have trouble NOT expressing myself outwardly.

I think there is also pretty horrible in trying to suppress outward expression of feelings as a feeling person. It's like trying to eat oneself. Not good.

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have some elements of INFP in me because my dad is an INTP and my mom is an ENFP so sometimes my I kicks in. I've tested INFP when I start to hermit. I think INFP's and ENFP's share similar emotions when it comes to right and wrong. Most people don't realize it but ENFP's value authenticity even though our Ne can sometimes seem inauthentic.

 

[andresimon]

^This^

With emergency or abrupt situations that are not so close to my core values, I usually have a delayed internal and external response. I don't *feel* the thing right away.

With the whole moral dimension, which is something I've only noticed recently, flares something up in me. If I experience something that close to me that violates my sense of right and wrong (being called a liar or see someone totally take advantage of a situation over and over), I am much closer to it feeling-wise. I respond with feeling, much sooner and sometimes have trouble NOT expressing myself outwardly.

I think there is also pretty horrible in trying to suppress outward expression of feelings as a feeling person. It's like trying to eat oneself. Not good.

I'll add a few items. We often see possibilities and the gap between how things are and how things could be also creates an emotional response. When it comes to crisis situations, I often do react to TRUE crisis but rarely react to what most people "call" crisis. I think we all experience emotions relatively and so depending on where we are in our lives and our current circumstances, a step beneath that may seem like a crisis but to me it usually doesn't qualify. An example of this is when I see someone with a physical handicap on a fictional TV show I don't really feel it but when in person I can actually feel the pain in my body.

 

[Dreamer]

Oh wow. I have noticed this a lot in the ENFPs in my life. They are typically very calm and dependable during a crisis, and it's only after the crisis has passed that all their emotions hit them at once. When my best friend's mom was dying, she was a rock for everyone else in her family. I couldn't believe how calm and collected she was. After her mom passed away, I kept asking her how she was doing, and she would say she was fine. And she genuinely believed she was fine. And then one day it finally hit her, and she completely broke down.

I think it is a defense mechanism, and it's one I can identify with. When I'm dealing with some kind of trauma or crisis, I feel like I can't allow myself to give in to my emotions until it's safe for me to do so. Otherwise, they might overwhelm me, and I'll be completely useless.

I've always been that way too, like when my grandmother passed from lung cancer when I was a senior in high school, I almost felt emotionless inside throughout her decline, and it wasn't until she had finally passed that I felt all my emotions rushing to me at once. Interesting thing though is, I didn't just cry randomly, but I had to set the mood strangely. Turned off my lights in my bedroom, and played Moonlight Sonata on my stereo, and just had a long, major cry session. It just wouldn't have felt proper for me to feel the emotions any other way, I had to let them pour out with full force.

I usually associate the calm before the storm, as really just being in a state of shock, rather than actually having some sort of super human ability to feel no emotion in a time like that. The more severe the situation, the longer it takes me to process the new information.