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  1. #1
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    Default Do people always forget we exist because they think we have no personality?

    As an INFP, I definitely had this struggle. I am very quiet, gentle, and sensitive. It's not easy for me to talk to people and hide my weaknesses. I'm the only one that never talked to the opposite sex while everyone else hooks up with them, this is different from homosexuality of course. People can easily see I'm vulnerable, soft, the most fragile, and so sensitive I'm easily startled or poked. It gets so annoying, they think I'm innocent and naive because I barely talked and yeah I think you get it, I am the Quiet One while I'm proud too. People act like I have am not human, but a small, scared child with no personality. They try to create a personality for me, make me come out of my shell. In truth, I just can't though, I always end up soft spoken, teary, and shy away. But thank god, I avoid anyone I don't know, so nobody notices me. So uh, just sorta curious if other INFPs had this issue?
    I am extremely quiet, an outcast, and conflict-avoidant. But I also have strengths too, that I can forgive you all because you are unique and special. I kill with kindness, hating violence and social conflicts. People always bully me into actually talking, but I can't. Just be your true self and know your strengths and weaknesses. Some weaknesses we cannot change, but work on your strengths, forgive, and accept that.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Noon's Avatar
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    Fundamentally self-absorbed though not maliciously so. Desirous of boundaries, respectful of boundaries. Because I'm that way I end up assuming others are too as well.

    e.g. Communication: A shares personal experience of B to C, C shares personal experience of B to A - the aim being to bridge experiences while also maintaining their mutual discreteness. But I've realized that to observers this can look like making an unacknowledged elephant of the original topic, or to someone with a different communication style, a redirecting of the subject to oneself (and rude).

    I'm generally not aware of how others at large perceive me. I try not to pay attention for the most part. When I go into that territory it's a lot like grasping at straws in horrible lighting. Fish out of water. My natural stance is defensive (self-protective): push others away or make sure things are alright so they stay at a distance, as opposed to wanting to pull them in.

    For some reason, the threat of being misunderstood feels more threatening than it probably is in reality. The threat isn't necessarily about lack of acceptance either - it's something much more visceral that actually almost seems silly if I think about it too much.

    I'm almost always surprised to hear if someone thinks I'm cold or judgmental or uncaring or sometimes even depressed (as hard as that might be to believe?), because I don't feel those first three at all. Sometimes I do get genuinely confused by peoples' reactions to me in that way... but don't always know how to fix them.

    From what I do know, there are layers of characterization. 'Childlike' spans acquaintance, relative, close person people, I think, because I'm small for my age and sometimes look 'frail' depending on who is doing the looking, and idealism or excessive empathy can sometimes look like ignorance about the world.

  3. #3
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    Same, I'm very quiet and get so absorbed in my introspective head. It's hard for me to talk to anyone who's not close even if they start a conservation. I usually end up mousy and too soft spoken they couldn't hear me. And also I'm avoidant with strangers, the opposite sex, and just people I'm not close to. It makes me really anxious and I can't help it but hide in a corner, stay still, or something. Of course I'm not aware of how I'm perceived, so I easily get surprised when someone says how they perceive. I always get that I'm soft, naive, dreamy, too shy, nerdy, and mysteriously reserved.
    I am extremely quiet, an outcast, and conflict-avoidant. But I also have strengths too, that I can forgive you all because you are unique and special. I kill with kindness, hating violence and social conflicts. People always bully me into actually talking, but I can't. Just be your true self and know your strengths and weaknesses. Some weaknesses we cannot change, but work on your strengths, forgive, and accept that.
    Likes Noon, Enygmatic liked this post

  4. #4
    Senior Member Noon's Avatar
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    lol. We can go to haiti and feed the hunger.

  5. #5
    Senior Member KitchenFly's Avatar
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    Do people always forget we exist because they think we have no personality.

    This is a very sensitive topic. Being an INFP has its joys and it difficulties. I have difficulties with being withdrawn up to my mid thirties. I found during early twenties I began developing my self esteem vier personal development courses.

    Reading was helpful and learning simple things like there is in time and out time and being social is out time. I find these days I still am withdrawn in social settings I would prefer not to visiting, it is not because I am unable to understand the people within the social environment it is more to with not wishing to operate via the Se Fist function whilst being with those who like to celebrate small talk and Egoic low end personality conversations. Its ok for a short time once and here and there, but not as a frequent activity.

    I like to drift as I like and visit environments that I think and feel with stimulate my sense of enjoyment much like being a tourist or a welcomed new member.

    I find sadly that lots of night life venues are largely frequented by people who are not really celebrating night life activities so I have little desire to venture out and seek enjoyment in night clubs and pubs, but some time I will go out with friend and enjoy the present novelty of being within a new environment and talking with friends.

    There are some wonderful aspects to being comfortable within the selfs skin and eliminating via INFP. But it must be mentioned that these for functions work best when open to all other functions in there various forms.

    I find aspects of my phycology that came forward when I am free are aspect that belong to the descriptions with in the enneagram model and and as the points of my auxiliary wings and subsidiary wings emerge I find hole functions of the MBTI accompany the point energies and part functions appear within personal expression.

    I have always had within myself a capacity to generate a hole expression and I be leave it is due to a freedom to express the three Instincts easterly with out fear or question. It is only my inner alienation of aspect of instinct that holds primarily with the foot on the brake. I do not fully understand this but there maybe some connecting with the eight cognitive functions and the free expression of the six instinctual variant.

    But anyway being free within ones own skin requires at the INFP predominate expression lots of filtering via attention and selection. People to associate with and environment to be in or dwell within at time self feel withdrawn with out being self critical and self conches of being withdrawn because there are long learn strategies and patterns of behaviour that are automatic habitual craters tics of reaction and response as an INFP dominantly putting forward predominately These four aspect of being.

    There are alone some nice energies that can be generated and some fantastic plays of cognition via structures like FPIN a very receptive state and warm towards others and self as experiencer. There is a lovely dance that can be generated and emanated within the synergy of intimacy with another or others via an action between FPIN and INFP and IPNF and FINP. I think it may also be accompanied with the three hole working functions of the people orientate Instinctive Triangle: ( - Sx - Sp - Sx - So - )

    Anyway dinners on the table..

    Cheers.

  6. #6
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    As someone with many INFP friends, I'd like to say that INFPs are unforgettable once they let you get to know them. It's not that we forget you exist; more like there's nothing to forget because you guys keep your shit on lockdown. You haven't given us anything, and it can sometimes take time. You're unforgettable once you let us breach your warp core, though.

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