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[NF] Why Immature F-ers give me the creeps?

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
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yupp
Yes it is counter productive to personalize situations if the better way is to cater to the situation itself. If a bad situation fix it. If it is good let all enjoy. Personalizing heaps an unrealistic burden onto ones shoulders that is far from admirable and easily irritating.

If someone made a whole group wait to order lunch for the sake of one person I would find it rediculous. I would order my own lunch and be done with it.rather than resenting the late person or the boss who wanted to sacrifice mine time for the sake of others. But I am not a "team player" everyone should be responsible for their own lunch.

so you won't wait 5 minutes to eat? that too me is selfish.I mean if you have diabetes or some medical condition where you have to eat that's understandable. I've been starving and thought I was going to pass out, but knew this other person was coming and I didn't want to be rude or kill my appetite. So I waited. drinks are fine, but no one feels comfortable when everyone else is finishing a meal and they just ordered theirs.
 

heart

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May 19, 2007
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Ok I have never been good at just dropping something.

The tread is entitled why fers give me the creeps. Paving the way for perception based theory and proving that I was willing to challenge my misconceptions if there were any. It was not entitled all feeling people are creeps at which point I would be expected to provide tangible reasons for such a statement. The irony is lost. As well as the ability for growth because I upset you guys so we will just let that be the foundation of the concept.

I am not upset. Saying that some one gives you the creeps is a insult and you presented your post in such a way as to give it a very glib and insincere air. You seemed bent to rant/vent and not to explore.

Your post also was all Ne-Fe with no Ti and so have most of the replies you've made in this thread.

The thing that struck me the most about it was the irony in you telling Feelers (and you didn't qualify that in any way so the assumption rests that you mean feelers in general) that they are selfish because they make decisions based on feeling and yet your post seemed based on Ne-Fe. Can you understand why it might generate the responses it did based on that?
 
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ThatGirl

Guest
so you won't wait 5 minutes to eat? that too me is selfish.I mean if you have diabetes or some medical condition where you have to eat that's understandable. I've been starving and thought I was going to pass out, but knew this other person was coming and I didn't want to be rude or kill my appetite. So I waited. drinks are fine, but no one feels comfortable when everyone else is finishing a meal and they just ordered theirs.

I would have actually planned beforehand. If it was spur of the moment I would accept that not everyone could be catered to. If it were at a resturant, then I would wait.
 

prplchknz

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Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
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yupp
I would have actually planned beforehand. If it was spur of the moment I would accept that not everyone could be catered to. If it were at a resturant, then I would wait.

I was assuming you were reffering to resteraunts, and it being planned.
 

heart

heart on fire
Joined
May 19, 2007
Messages
8,456
Yes it is counter productive to personalize situations if the better way is to cater to the situation itself. If a bad situation fix it. If it is good let all enjoy. Personalizing heaps an unrealistic burden onto ones shoulders that is far from admirable and easily irritating.

If someone made a whole group wait to order lunch for the sake of one person I would find it rediculous. I would order my own lunch and be done with it.rather than resenting the late person or the boss who wanted to sacrifice mine time for the sake of others. But I am not a "team player" everyone should be responsible for their own lunch.

I agree, I can't stand the "team" BS in the workplace when it applied simply for the sake of applying it, BUT I also cannot help but be struck by the irony in your complaint here. You are wanting personal catering to as much as the person who was late. You want the group to suspend it's rules for your sense of what's logical. I happen to agree that it wouldn't do that much harm, but I can also see that you're operating out of selfish movtives. Selfish does not always equal bad however.

Work is just one of those places where insane ritual counts more than reason. Once this is accepted, it's easier to let many things slide.
 

SillyGoose

New member
Joined
Jun 11, 2008
Messages
243
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EXXP
Yes it is counter productive to personalize situations if the better way is to cater to the situation itself. If a bad situation fix it. If it is good let all enjoy. Personalizing heaps an unrealistic burden onto ones shoulders that is far from admirable and easily irritating.

If someone made a whole group wait to order lunch for the sake of one person I would find it rediculous. I would order my own lunch and be done with it.rather than resenting the late person or the boss who wanted to sacrifice mine time for the sake of others. But I am not a "team player" everyone should be responsible for their own lunch.

You would find it ridiculous to wait 10 minutes to order lunch? Really?

How would it be sacrificing your time? Continue working those 10 minutes...LOL.

And that is the crux of the matter. I do think it is a better way to wait 10 minutes. It creates a healthier work environment and does promote playing on the same team and working together. Since that is the goal at my work anyway.

Interesting, what do you do?
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
I am not upset. Saying that some one gives you the creeps is a insult and you presented your post in such a way as to give it a very glib and insincere air. You seemed bent to rant/vent and not to explore.

Your post also was all Ne-Fe with no Ti and so have most of the replies you've made in this thread.

The thing that struck me the most about it was the irony in you telling Feelers (and you didn't qualify that in any way so the assumption rests that you mean feelers in general) that they are selfish because they make decisions based on feeling and yet your post seemed based on Ne-Fe. Can you understand why it might generate the responses it did based on that?

I don't know what Ne Fe Ti means. About the levels of consiousness I meant people who were in different places in their lives beyond sorting through them. Sort of actualized.
 

prplchknz

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Joined
Jun 11, 2007
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yupp
I don't know what Ne Fe Ti means. About the levels of consiousness I meant people who were in different places in their lives beyond sorting through them. Sort of actualized.

extroverted intution

extraverted feeling

and introverted feelng
 

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
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8,541
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I agree most of the feelers I met may have been imature and am now seperating those conclusions I'm head from f to mentality. I would like to experience feelers with high consiousness levels. I have a new view and goal in mind.

I guess we can work on talking with eachother, rather than at eachother :)

If you end up with enough time dig into the older posts. An old member who left, FineLine, had a pretty good grip of himself and may have made his way into being one of the people I look up to. For the rest of us you'll just have to talk and listen for a few more months. ^_^

Can you explain what you mean by "high consciousness" levels? When I hear this term I most oft think of mysticism, higher enlightenment, new age type jargon. I don't want to assume this is what you mean.

She just means more mature in use of functions an decision making.
 
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ThatGirl

Guest
I agree, I can't stand the "team" BS in the workplace when it applied simply for the sake of applying it, BUT I also cannot help but be struck by the irony in your complaint here. You are wanting personal catering to as much as the person who was late. You want the group to suspend it's rules for your sense of what's logical. I happen to agree that it wouldn't do that much harm, but I can also see that you're operating out of selfish movtives. Selfish does not always equal bad however.

Work is just one of those places where insane ritual counts more than reason. Once this is accepted, it's easier to let many things slide.

Expecting people to cater to me is selfish. people volenteering others is selfish. Planning to have your own lunch shouldn't effect anyone.
 

heart

heart on fire
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Expecting people to cater to me is selfish. people volenteering others is selfish. Planning to have your own lunch shouldn't effect anyone.

Work always has crazy rules, at least in my exprience.
 

runvardh

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Expecting people to cater to me is selfish. people volenteering others is selfish. Planning to have your own lunch shouldn't effect anyone.

I think it's less about if you're having lunch on your own, but if you're planning to go to lunch with others. You personally may not do this so it may be a moot point; however, those who do typically do this to aid in workplace cohesion which can help make communication more effective. It's easier to get an immature F to do what you want when they're on amicable terms with you than not.

Now, if you are in a situation where you get to decide who you work with you may be able to avoid this issue all together. On the other hand, if you do not have that control what is better? Effecive communication resulting in a better product or ineffective communication which causes things to take forever to do?
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
You would find it ridiculous to wait 10 minutes to order lunch? Really?

How would it be sacrificing your time? Continue working those 10 minutes...LOL.

And that is the crux of the matter. I do think it is a better way to wait 10 minutes. It creates a healthier work environment and does promote playing on the same team and working together. Since that is the goal at my work anyway.

Interesting, what do you do?

I guess I am not really the type to sit and eat with everone. I was assuming you meant ordering lunch to bring to the office. I started calculating the extra ten to order then dilivery then to sit and eat. It would be easier to bring lunch scarf it down in five and get back to work. Or work and eat at the same time.
 

heart

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May 19, 2007
Messages
8,456
I guess I am not really the type to sit and eat with everone. I was assuming you meant ordering lunch to bring to the office. I started calculating the extra ten to order then dilivery then to sit and eat. It would be easier to bring lunch scarf it down in five and get back to work. Or work and eat at the same time.

You have my sympathy if you're being forced to eat lunch in some kind of "go team go!" situation. I'd rather eat alone and spend the time recharging myself in silence at work. But I know that many times there's nutty theories about this and that at a workplace I am going to have to put aside my wants and wishes and do what's required, whether it makes sense or not, so long as I am not asked to be abusive towards someone else or break any laws.

It's the type of situation where my personal happiness doesn't really factor in and that's just reality.
 
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