[ENFJ] ENFJ: Talk About Yourself!

[Littlelostnf]

I am going to jump back in for this one. The only things I am embarrassed to express are tears & anger. I don't cry in front of anyone ever if I can help it. I think people would be shocked to know that dominant Fe and all I hardly ever shed a tear. True anger for me is a source of embarrassment. It's because anger means I haven't rationally looked at a situation and am taking something personally. It means I have also run out of solutions for that moment. An angry outburst which happens very rarely is scary and it feels very immature. Generally instead of letting it out I "calmly" assess the situation and change it in my mind. Silence from me is a good indicator that I am attempting to regain control internally. Luckily people who know me tend to STFU during this process.

Good lord get OUT OF MY HEAD!
ditto.

 

[Theory]

^Word.

 

[Usehername]

I've seen two ENFJs cry more than once in group settings. They were sorta legitimate circumstances... but not totally.

But it sure didn't seem that they were embarrassed by their emotions.

 

[Littlelostnf]

I've seen two ENFJs cry more than once in group settings. They were sorta legitimate circumstances... but not totally.

But it sure didn't seem that they were embarrassed by their emotions.

Totally possible (what were the circumstances?) Sometimes I'll cry at movies or a good book. But anger and things situation Lookin4 presented. No crying here.

I'm embarrassed when I cry at a movie or something but when it's ligit like that I'm only slightly embarassed. Was in a situation where the person I was talking to thought I was rolling my eyes and just being a *itch meanwhile I was trying to keep myself from crying because I was angry and upset and I knew I needed time to get it together. It would have been horrible to me for him to see me cry.

 

[Usehername]

Totally possible (what were the circumstances?) Sometimes I'll cry at movies or a good book. But anger and things situation Lookin4 presented. No crying here.

I'm embarrassed when I cry at a movie or something but when it's ligit like that I'm only slightly embarassed. Was in a situation where the person I was talking to thought I was rolling my eyes and just being a *itch meanwhile I was trying to keep myself from crying because I was angry and upset and I knew I needed time to get it together. It would have been horrible to me for him to see me cry.

1. the first was during group worship; he totally seemed comfortable with the fact that he had the most public intimate experience with God (but not in a bragging way, a seriously comfortable way)

2. she was talking about anorexia one time, and the damages of smoking another time. and these were both things unrelated to her personal experience, and only how much she was hurting for others. in a big group. just cried... it wasn't inappropriate or anything, but certainly weird (for me).

 

[Lookin4theBestNU]

I suppose it could possibly happen but the idea is foreign to me. I cried in front of people after my fathers 3rd heart attack but I couldn't help it that day and it was very, very embarrassing. As a general rule I don't trust/make myself vulnerable during an intense intimate moment (anything that would bring tears is in this category) with acquaintances/strangers. "Near tears" maybe but never the full-blown deal. I find emotional displays rather distasteful to be honest. My EJ keeps me pretty well in check. I would venture to say that my emotions are more in control then most people I know. I do not mind being supportive to people who are going through a rough time. The thing about me is that I cannot help but look for genuineness. If it is fake or attention-seeking by my judgment of your motivations chances are I will despise you. If the ENFJs you mentioned had a sincere emotional experience of some kind I wouldn't be embarrassed for them. I would probably be jealous as I cannot "let myself go" like that. Deep down sometimes I think I would like too.

 

[Usehername]

I suppose it could possibly happen but the idea is foreign to me. I cried in front of people after my fathers 3rd heart attack but I couldn't help it that day and it was very, very embarrassing. As a general rule I don't trust/make myself vulnerable during an intense intimate moment (anything that would bring tears is in this category) with acquaintances/strangers. "Near tears" maybe but never the full-blown deal. I find emotional displays rather distasteful to be honest. My EJ keeps me pretty well in check. I would venture to say that my emotions are more in control then most people I know. I do not mind being supportive to people who are going through a rough time. The thing about me is that I cannot help but look for genuineness. If it is fake or attention-seeking by my judgment of your motivations chances are I will despise you. If the ENFJs you mentioned had a sincere emotional experience of some kind I wouldn't be embarrassed for them. I would probably be jealous as I cannot "let myself go" like that. Deep down sometimes I think I would like too.

1. So, assuming they were sincere (which, I knew both people well and am confident they were) it's possible this is something ENFJs are comfortable with, and you are the exception to the rule? Any other ENFJs care to comment?

2. I would agree that healthy ENFJs have some of the best regulated emotions around. I think they significantly school me, unless it's something I'm consciously working on (in which case I'll try to pwn, and if it doesn't work the reserve stoicism is always available to play as a backup). It's been my experience that these ENFJs contribute positively or not at all.

 

[Lookin4theBestNU]

It is certainly possible that I am an exception. I have only met one other ENFJ IRL so there is not much to compare to.

 

[Usehername]

See, I'm trying to pick out ENFJs in my past history and figure out the motivations behind their behavior in the interest of interaction with future ENFJs. I think I possibly might want to date one (not a specific one, the type in general. And I'm not trying to be type-discriminatory, but have found a serious correlation between how ENFJs really spark my innards and set me free and excited and me being happy. So I'm wondering if I should try to figure out the ENFJ to the best of my abilities in case a new one comes along that I'm interested in.)

ENFJ topic: how do you feel about music. Discuss.

 

[Littlelostnf]

1. So, assuming they were sincere (which, I knew both people well and am confident they were) it's possible this is something ENFJs are comfortable with, and you are the exception to the rule? Any other ENFJs care to comment?

2. I would agree that healthy ENFJs have some of the best regulated emotions around. I think they significantly school me, unless it's something I'm consciously working on (in which case I'll try to pwn, and if it doesn't work the reserve stoicism is always available to play as a backup). It's been my experience that these ENFJs contribute positively or not at all.

I'm not comfortable with it either. I'm sure they were sincere I only know one other ENFJ irl also so I can really only speak for myself. Like I said I'm more comfortable doing something like crying if something sincerely touches me in some way (not entirely comfortable) but I will and sorta laugh it off. However, when it comes to anger, I DO NOT I repeat DO NOT want it to take control of me to the point where I would cry. TOTALLY uncomfortable and embarrassing.

As far as your friends and their experiences both of those times it seems as if they were touched and expressed it with tears. I prob wouldn't cry...you might be able to tell because my voice would change (not exactly choked up) but definately you could tell if I were touched by something said or by another person's experience.

 

[Littlelostnf]

See, I'm trying to pick out ENFJs in my past history and figure out the motivations behind their behavior in the interest of interaction with future ENFJs. I think I possibly might want to date one (not a specific one, the type in general. And I'm not trying to be type-discriminatory, but have found a serious correlation between how ENFJs really spark my innards and set me free and excited and me being happy. So I'm wondering if I should try to figure out the ENFJ to the best of my abilities in case a new one comes along that I'm interested in.)

ENFJ topic: how do you feel about music. Discuss.

I can not live without music. I can not imagine life without it. I have it on constantly. I am a school teacher and all the teachers and children know where to go either to hear/borrow or ask about music. I love just about every type of music and it touches me deeply (both music and lyrics)

When I was growing up we had a painting of a woman at a piano and everytime my dad caught me looking at it he would say (and I'm not exactly sure who to attribute this quote to but...) "If music be the food of life...play on". Shakespeare maybe?

 

[Charizmatic]

hey all!

I can't tell if I'm an INFJ or and ENFJ. I've taken Myer Briggs many times. I always get NFJ. But I and E vary depending on when I take it!

How do I find out?

 

[Charizmatic]

After reading the majority of your posts, I am beginning to think I am an I. I really don't have the many friends, and don't think I am really that charming either! Hehe.

 

[Littlelostnf]

After reading the majority of your posts, I am beginning to think I am an I. I really don't have the many friends, and don't think I am really that charming either! Hehe.

Hi there Charizmatic. I always score close on the i/e scale but I'm definately an e. because my e/i is fairly balanced and because of what I do for a living and because I was raised by two i's I think I show my e side very well. it was my leaning as a child (e) but as i grew older my i side definately came out. The older I get the stronger it grows. I have many acquaintances but far fewer friends. My lifelong rocking chair friends I can count on one hand....well maybe a hand and a half.

Again welcome to the group and regardless of whether you're an i or an e we'd love to hear more from you.

 

[Usehername]

I can't tell if I'm an INFJ or and ENFJ. I've taken Myer Briggs many times. I always get NFJ. But I and E vary depending on when I take it!

How do I find out?

read a bunch of the descriptions. google and read between teh two; you'll self-identify eventually.

everyone seems to agree that the murraystate descriptions are really well done.
ENFJ - Extraverted Feeling with Intuition

 

[Charizmatic]

Hi there Charizmatic. I always score close on the i/e scale but I'm definately an e. because my e/i is fairly balanced and because of what I do for a living and because I was raised by two i's I think I show my e side very well. it was my leaning as a child (e) but as i grew older my i side definately came out. The older I get the stronger it grows. I have many acquaintances but far fewer friends. My lifelong rocking chair friends I can count on one hand....well maybe a hand and a half.

Again welcome to the group and regardless of whether you're an i or an e we'd love to hear more from you.

Hi Usehername and Littlelostnf!

I'm pretty sure I've read those descriptions before- and I think I am pretty in the middle on the E/I scale. I would probably call myself a shy ENFJ or 'people centric' INFJ! I feel the need to have many relationships, however I do like to spend time to myself also. I am not fully open to people I know, but once I know and like someone I am extremely open and get close to them extremely quickly. People generally like me, and I often give off the 'sweet' persona because I am pretty nice to everyone, but people that know me well, say that I much more 'assertive' than people would give me credit for. My interests lie in psychology (my major) and the arts ( I write creatively in my spare time/ joined dance class). I would say I am very much a dreamer. I feel that I am transitioning from an I to an E as I grow older, yet still, most of the thinking goes on in my head. Like many have mentioned here, there is an extremely strong need to help others and a kind of guilt that comes along with it when I have an opportunity and I somehow miss it.

Interesting forum!

Charizmatic x

 

[Charizmatic]

Oh, I have a question.

Are you E/INFJ's competitive?

 

[Charizmatic]

I can not live without music. I can not imagine life without it. I have it on constantly. I am a school teacher and all the teachers and children know where to go either to hear/borrow or ask about music. I love just about every type of music and it touches me deeply (both music and lyrics)

When I was growing up we had a painting of a woman at a piano and everytime my dad caught me looking at it he would say (and I'm not exactly sure who to attribute this quote to but...) "If music be the food of life...play on". Shakespeare maybe?

I have to say I am very similar when it comes to reading/movies/music. I "feel" it very deeply. I've cried over many books!:rolli:

 

[Littlelostnf]

Oh, I have a question.

Are you E/INFJ's competitive?

Hmmm I've been told (by one person..seriously and their opinion mattered to me) that I am. I don't think that I am. I like to play and of course I like to win but not to the exclusion of all else. When I compare myself to a friend and my cousin I'm not at all (if I look at how competitive they are) I know when I play Taboo I am the worse...anything else however I just like to play the game. Doesn't everyone have that streak somewhere in them? I have one friend who really really doesn't care. She's an ENFP. I know another ENFP who told me I like to win. I can't stand to lose. So there you go. Same type totally dif views on the outcome of winning.

 

[Littlelostnf]

I have to say I am very similar when it comes to reading/movies/music. I "feel" it very deeply. I've cried over many books!:rolli:

Books are the worst. I've embrassased myself crying over books. Movies I will cry occasionally but I really have to feel it, not feel as if I were being manipulated by the movie (extend scene here so audience has time to wipe tears away)