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[NF] Do other NF's seem to constantly toe the line between extroversion and introversion?

ilixir

New member
Joined
Jan 7, 2015
Messages
12
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx
I'm decidedly ENFP and while I love talking and being with other people I'm constantly vacillating between wanting to be around people and needing to have time to myself. However, I can't spend too much time with myself, otherwise I get depressed and self deprecating. Both of these situations (needing to be alone and then needing to be around people) have made me extremely confused, and frankly, annoyed. I've tried to pinpoint a reason as to why, so if any of you guys know the answer/can relate your own situations, that would be great.

1. HSP's. I've read about HSP's in Dr. Elaine Aron's book, The Highly Sensitive Person. I agree with the general definition: people who overstimulate too easily. For example, I can go to music concerts for an hour or so but after a while I get tired and want to just sleep, or be alone, or be with one singular person and simply talk. However, I had always originally thought that introverts were defined by their sensitivity scale, and not their "shyness", as they are commonly misidentified by.

2. ENFP's tend to want to cultivate personal relationships, and find deeper depths to their friendships. This probably isn't the same for all NF's, or even all ENFP's, but I think that's a good reason as to why I would prefer being with a few people at a time. However, it doesn't explain the back and forth with alone/with people.

3. Ambiverts. People who are in between the spectrum. Haven't read much on them, so I can't make an informed decision. Also, I don't believe I'm in the middle of the spectrum, because when I get my "mood changes", I either really need to be around people or really need to be alone for a while. There's rarely an in between.

If anyone knows about this constant switching back and forth, and/or if it ties into NF's, please comment in the thread!
 

á´…eparted

passages
Joined
Jan 25, 2014
Messages
8,265
No. I definitely fall into the category of extrovert. I am not a stereotypical extrovert, and I don't fit every single attribute, but there isn't any doubt that I am one. In the past I have fallen in the category of HSP, but I reject it. Most of it strikes me as whiney wimpy crap that people just can't buck up and deal with. The world is harsh and requires work. You have to adapt and manage. I hate being labeled as HSP, I and I really do not like others who use it as a crutch or excuse.
 

pmj85

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Joined
Mar 11, 2011
Messages
130
Nope, I'm very much an introvert.

I was more outgoing when single, because hey - I needed to get out there and meet people (ugh) but now that I'm married and have a kid, I keep myself to myself. If I could have things my way, I'd be alone at least 90% of the time.
 

robowolf

New member
Joined
Sep 25, 2013
Messages
134
MBTI Type
FREE
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Not at all, I'm a hardcore introvert, but ENPs are said to be the least extroverted extroverts.
 

Evastover

New member
Joined
Jan 2, 2015
Messages
77
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
2
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
It all depends on who I'm around. I act very extroverted with Grumpycat, and very introverted around others. I tend to go in cycles.

Also, I can "power-extrovert", so to speak, for leading projects and giving speeches and such.
 

Kevin A.S.

New member
Joined
Jan 11, 2015
Messages
15
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
3w2
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
me? maybe I'm ambivert. But since i don't like to give my problem into the other, i call myself as an introvert. I also enjoy speaking with people but just when i have interest in the topic discussed.
 

Cygnus

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Feb 10, 2014
Messages
1,594
I'm fully on board with the assertion that IEE ENFp is the most introverted of all extraverts. Fi desire for emotional "shielding" + ultra-weak Se and lack of physical "power." If the SEE ESFps fare any better, it's because Se IS FORCE.

I don't recommend the whole "NF/NT" enchilada because it totters dangerously close to the chasm of Keirsey. Plenty of SFs have similar problems. Plenty of T-types have similar problems under enough pressure.
 

Mychemicalkilljoy

New member
Joined
Jan 14, 2015
Messages
224
MBTI Type
NOPE
Hey that's so true. I'm a supposed Enfp as well. I guess that's true for everyone. Everyone is an ambivalent. They can't be pure e or I.
 

HongDou

navigating
Joined
Nov 23, 2012
Messages
5,191
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I'm clearly extroverted and I don't think anyone but my ESTP bestie has thought otherwise (she thought I was ISFJ or INFP...but it was based on Disney princesses haha so...) but I have quite a few "introverted" moments. It's only natural. If you're an E4 that's probably why you seem more introverted than most extroverts since 4 is a very withdrawn type.
 

HongDou

navigating
Joined
Nov 23, 2012
Messages
5,191
MBTI Type
ENFP
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6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
^ Extroversion/introversion lies on a scale. Any individual can fall anywhere on that scale, regardless of what their type is. But typically 2w3s are a very outgoing type, so an extroverted type that is also 2w3 is typically fairly and visibly extroverted. But like I said, levels of introversion/extroversion varies for everyone so don't take it too seriously when considering your type.
 

NancyD

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Joined
Jan 1, 2015
Messages
50
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I've never been able to really tell if I'm a quiet extrovert or a real introvert. It seems to go through cycles too much.
 

robowolf

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Sep 25, 2013
Messages
134
MBTI Type
FREE
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sp/sx
I guess that's true for everyone. Everyone is an ambivalent. They can't be pure e or I.

I'm the living proof that that's not true. Is get their energy from being alone, Es recharge by staying with people. Then of course it's a spectrum, some Is require less alone time to recharge, while others (like me) need about a week of total silence for every hour spent socialising. Ambiverts are 50-50 (+/- 10). Not everyone is 50-50.
 

Redbone

Orisha
Joined
Apr 27, 2010
Messages
2,882
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
OP, even though you're ENFP, you are also enneagram 4. That is a withdrawn type.

I thought for years that I was introverted because I usually have one person in my life that I latch on to, spend time with, and consider extremely special to me (doesn't have to be romantic but that's nice, too). I can get overwhelmed and need to go home...back to my den. I prefer one on one activities, solitary pursuits, and stay away from group activities. I love my alone time. But those things don't make me introverted. For me, extroversion means I very much need the stimulation of the outside world. I take the outer world and other people for granted and try to find my place in it. I need something to bounce my Ne off of and if I'm not "taking the pulse of the outer world" in some way, I start to lose my vitality.

But most of all, I'm extroverted because I lead with extroverted intuition, not introverted feeling. I live with two Fi-doms and am close to another one. We may be similar but seeing how they think makes me realize there's no way I lead with introverted feeling. It's very different (and I'm really jealous at times).
 

Sinmara

Not Your Therapist
Joined
Nov 9, 2009
Messages
1,075
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I'm enthusiastic and talkative when I am one-on-one with a person. I feel relaxed and comfortable in small groups. This often leads people to think I'm an extrovert because they're seeing a burst of energy, but I'm very much an introvert. The information my friends are lacking is that I only see them once a week at the most and we see each other for only a few hours. The rest of the time, I'm in my nice, quiet, cozy home. There are a couple of people I don't mind spending an entire day or more with, but it's because they don't make me feel tired and they don't take it personally if I withdraw for a period of time while we're together.

I'm also sx/sp and enneagram 6, both of which makes me more of an outgoing introvert. I like being around my friends, and people-watching can be a fun passive activity, but too much interaction will do me in. I can have a fantastic night out with my ENTP friend but go home feeling almost hollow inside because I did too much.

If I do seem to be going on an extroversion binge and I'm out doing all of the things all of the time, it's because something is wrong and I'm compensating by acting all happy-happy. Excessive socializing is really not a good sign for me.
 
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