• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[ENFJ] Ask an ENFJ

Cygnus

New member
Joined
Feb 10, 2014
Messages
1,594
You'd be the first Fe-dom Enneagram 8 I've heard of. I want to know more but I don't know where to start.


What wing are you?
How do you tend to act around people?
 

Garab

New member
Joined
Dec 17, 2014
Messages
8
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
2w3
I'm actually a Type 8 with a 2w3.
Around others I am usually a bit of a jokester and I am very direct and honest about my feelings and opinions, good or bad. I also tend to talk before I think, and this doesn't always end well, even though what I say is almost always well-intentioned. I definitely aim to protect the "underdog" in most situations. I always stand up for my beliefs, too. Around my family, I can have a quick temper, and it is very obvious to everyone if I am upset. I too often take my stress out on them. Also, if people are telling me about their problems, I get really personally invested in their issues and get sort of "aggressively helpful," because if I think I know how to fix their problems, I really push them to follow my advice.
 

baccheion

New member
Joined
Jan 10, 2013
Messages
777
What's the obsession with "bringing out the best in..." trying to claim that's what you're doing, forcing it onto others even when they aren't interested, then using that line of BS to try to push in your own beliefs?

What's with the sappy, overly emotional BS? Why the need to constantly repeat it, and to ruin moments of happiness by stepping in and saying something stupid?

What's with the obsession with "being there for others," constantly claiming you're there for others, and constantly trying to make it seem as though you're there for others, as you do nothing but add stress and annoyance to their lives?

What's the obsession with this inspirational "discovered this person and made them into something" garbage, especially the part where nothing actually happened but you constantly annoying them while trying to bring more attention to yourself while making claims that you're such a wonderful person?

What's the obsession with thinking you're clever and with constantly laughing and claiming you can slyly get others to do the dumbest things when the only thing present is constant annoyance, harassment, and you continually forcing in BS claims that they "have such great potential, but.." and that you're concerned for them and are only try to help them do what's best? How can you then expect to not be seen as annoying, full of it, and always getting in the way with the same BS?

What's the obsession with repeatedly saying how well you know everyone, and how good a handle you have on who everyone is, even though there's only the same stupidity repeating endlessly as you make it clear your view on who others are is very one-dimensional? There are repeated claims of open-mindedness and awareness of what others are, but the only thing actually present are your constant repetitive claims of being the one that knows who everyone is, and of being the only one that does, as you do nothing but continually try to tell them who they are, who they clearly should be, and everything else that makes it clear that you have no idea.

Why the insistence on hiding your shit, the shit you have in mind, and all this other garbage behind constant claims that you are just trying to help everyone and that you're concerned for others?

How could you do all of these things, force your shit on others, then manage to claim yourselves victims and continually say that no one appreciates or acknowledges what you're doing? How could you make all those claims, then expect to not be seen as being full of it?

"Oh, that's sooooo amazing!"

But all there is to be heard is another patronizing remark said at the worst possible time, loaded with endless bullshit that does nothing but shit on anything that could've been replacing it with more BS.
 

á´…eparted

passages
Joined
Jan 25, 2014
Messages
8,265
What's the obsession with "bringing out the best in..." trying to claim that's what you're doing, forcing it onto others even when they aren't interested, then using that line of BS to try to push in your own beliefs?

What's with the sappy, overly emotional BS? Why the need to constantly repeat it, and to ruin moments of happiness by stepping in and saying something stupid?

What's with the obsession with "being there for others," constantly claiming you're there for others, and constantly trying to make it seem as though you're there for others, as you do nothing but add stress and annoyance to their lives?

What's the obsession with this inspirational "discovered this person and made them into something" garbage, especially the part where nothing actually happened but you constantly annoying them while trying to bring more attention to yourself while making claims that you're such a wonderful person?

What's the obsession with thinking you're clever and with constantly laughing and claiming you can slyly get others to do the dumbest things when the only thing present is constant annoyance, harassment, and you continually forcing in BS claims that they "have such great potential, but.." and that you're concerned for them and are only try to help them do what's best? How can you then expect to not be seen as annoying, full of it, and always getting in the way with the same BS?

What's the obsession with repeatedly saying how well you know everyone, and how good a handle you have on who everyone is, even though there's only the same stupidity repeating endlessly as you make it clear your view on who others are is very one-dimensional? There are repeated claims of open-mindedness and awareness of what others are, but the only thing actually present are your constant repetitive claims of being the one that knows who everyone is, and of being the only one that does, as you do nothing but continually try to tell them who they are, who they clearly should be, and everything else that makes it clear that you have no idea.

Why the insistence on hiding your shit, the shit you have in mind, and all this other garbage behind constant claims that you are just trying to help everyone and that you're concerned for others?

How could you do all of these things, force your shit on others, then manage to claim yourselves victims and continually say that no one appreciates or acknowledges what you're doing? How could you make all those claims, then expect to not be seen as being full of it?

"Oh, that's sooooo amazing!"

But all there is to be heard is another patronizing remark said at the worst possible time, loaded with endless bullshit that does nothing but shit on anything that could've been replacing it with more BS.

15108135.jpg
 

Cygnus

New member
Joined
Feb 10, 2014
Messages
1,594
What's the obsession with "bringing out the best in..." trying to claim that's what you're doing, forcing it onto others even when they aren't interested, then using that line of BS to try to push in your own beliefs?

What's with the sappy, overly emotional BS? Why the need to constantly repeat it, and to ruin moments of happiness by stepping in and saying something stupid?

What's with the obsession with "being there for others," constantly claiming you're there for others, and constantly trying to make it seem as though you're there for others, as you do nothing but add stress and annoyance to their lives?

What's the obsession with this inspirational "discovered this person and made them into something" garbage, especially the part where nothing actually happened but you constantly annoying them while trying to bring more attention to yourself while making claims that you're such a wonderful person?

What's the obsession with thinking you're clever and with constantly laughing and claiming you can slyly get others to do the dumbest things when the only thing present is constant annoyance, harassment, and you continually forcing in BS claims that they "have such great potential, but.." and that you're concerned for them and are only try to help them do what's best? How can you then expect to not be seen as annoying, full of it, and always getting in the way with the same BS?

What's the obsession with repeatedly saying how well you know everyone, and how good a handle you have on who everyone is, even though there's only the same stupidity repeating endlessly as you make it clear your view on who others are is very one-dimensional? There are repeated claims of open-mindedness and awareness of what others are, but the only thing actually present are your constant repetitive claims of being the one that knows who everyone is, and of being the only one that does, as you do nothing but continually try to tell them who they are, who they clearly should be, and everything else that makes it clear that you have no idea.

Why the insistence on hiding your shit, the shit you have in mind, and all this other garbage behind constant claims that you are just trying to help everyone and that you're concerned for others?

How could you do all of these things, force your shit on others, then manage to claim yourselves victims and continually say that no one appreciates or acknowledges what you're doing? How could you make all those claims, then expect to not be seen as being full of it?

"Oh, that's sooooo amazing!"

But all there is to be heard is another patronizing remark said at the worst possible time, loaded with endless bullshit that does nothing but shit on anything that could've been replacing it with more BS.

Why do you store up so much rage just to release it into the wind on some completely unrelated internet thread, rather than take the hint and direct this anger against the party causing it and defend your ground in the process?

Kinda makes you a pushover.
 

ceecee

Coolatta® Enjoyer
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
15,908
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
I'm actually a Type 8 with a 2w3.
Around others I am usually a bit of a jokester and I am very direct and honest about my feelings and opinions, good or bad. I also tend to talk before I think, and this doesn't always end well, even though what I say is almost always well-intentioned. I definitely aim to protect the "underdog" in most situations. I always stand up for my beliefs, too. Around my family, I can have a quick temper, and it is very obvious to everyone if I am upset. I too often take my stress out on them. Also, if people are telling me about their problems, I get really personally invested in their issues and get sort of "aggressively helpful," because if I think I know how to fix their problems, I really push them to follow my advice.

This is easily the thing I like least about ENFJ's. How do you handle it when someone has said clearly - I don't want your help?
 

ceecee

Coolatta® Enjoyer
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
15,908
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
What's the obsession with "bringing out the best in..." trying to claim that's what you're doing, forcing it onto others even when they aren't interested, then using that line of BS to try to push in your own beliefs?

What's with the sappy, overly emotional BS? Why the need to constantly repeat it, and to ruin moments of happiness by stepping in and saying something stupid?

What's with the obsession with "being there for others," constantly claiming you're there for others, and constantly trying to make it seem as though you're there for others, as you do nothing but add stress and annoyance to their lives?

What's the obsession with this inspirational "discovered this person and made them into something" garbage, especially the part where nothing actually happened but you constantly annoying them while trying to bring more attention to yourself while making claims that you're such a wonderful person?

What's the obsession with thinking you're clever and with constantly laughing and claiming you can slyly get others to do the dumbest things when the only thing present is constant annoyance, harassment, and you continually forcing in BS claims that they "have such great potential, but.." and that you're concerned for them and are only try to help them do what's best? How can you then expect to not be seen as annoying, full of it, and always getting in the way with the same BS?

What's the obsession with repeatedly saying how well you know everyone, and how good a handle you have on who everyone is, even though there's only the same stupidity repeating endlessly as you make it clear your view on who others are is very one-dimensional? There are repeated claims of open-mindedness and awareness of what others are, but the only thing actually present are your constant repetitive claims of being the one that knows who everyone is, and of being the only one that does, as you do nothing but continually try to tell them who they are, who they clearly should be, and everything else that makes it clear that you have no idea.

Why the insistence on hiding your shit, the shit you have in mind, and all this other garbage behind constant claims that you are just trying to help everyone and that you're concerned for others?

How could you do all of these things, force your shit on others, then manage to claim yourselves victims and continually say that no one appreciates or acknowledges what you're doing? How could you make all those claims, then expect to not be seen as being full of it?

"Oh, that's sooooo amazing!"

But all there is to be heard is another patronizing remark said at the worst possible time, loaded with endless bullshit that does nothing but shit on anything that could've been replacing it with more BS.

There is more than one adjective in the English language, you should look for a new one.
 

Garab

New member
Joined
Dec 17, 2014
Messages
8
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
2w3
This is easily the thing I like least about ENFJ's. How do you handle it when someone has said clearly - I don't want your help?

If they clearly say that, obviously I would back off. I just do this with friends.
 

pmj85

New member
Joined
Mar 11, 2011
Messages
130
My ENFJ wife absolutely knows where the line is. She isn't at all the sort of 'pushy' person being discussed here. In fact, ENFJs generally aren't - and I know a few.

For such behaviour, look more towards ESFJs. Also, my own type can be subtly manipulative. A damn sight more than any ENFJ, I'd wager.
 

ceecee

Coolatta® Enjoyer
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
15,908
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
If they clearly say that, obviously I would back off. I just do this with friends.

I find that hard to believe. Don't get me wrong, I love ENFJ's and I love the one I'm married to but you guys can be the most pushy, manipulative people ESPECIALLY when you think people need righting (even against their wishes). You'll find a back door somewhere.
 

á´…eparted

passages
Joined
Jan 25, 2014
Messages
8,265
I find that hard to believe. Don't get me wrong, I love ENFJ's and I love the one I'm married to but you guys can be the most pushy, manipulative people ESPECIALLY when you think people need righting (even against their wishes). You'll find a back door somewhere.

3670kd.jpg


And being a 1w2 amplifies this a lot. I do try and watch it though.
 

Cygnus

New member
Joined
Feb 10, 2014
Messages
1,594
What's with the reading too deep into people when they don't ask for it?? Like, when I look all emo-faced but don't realize it or am not feeling it, and they give me shit about how something's wrong when it isn't?
 

chubber

failed poetry slam career
Joined
Oct 18, 2013
Messages
4,413
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Are ENFJs confident in their exercise abilities?
 

ZNP-TBA

Privileged Sh!tlord
Joined
Jun 12, 2015
Messages
3,001
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
Instinctual Variant
sx
My personal experience has shown me that ENFJs seem to be the most rare type in my life. So, what distinguishes you from INFJs and ESFJs? I know the theory behind it but I'm curious about an ENFJ's own view about it. Also, how did you know you're an ENFJ? Test result or some other kind of understanding?
 

geedoenfj

The more you know..
Joined
Oct 6, 2015
Messages
3,347
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I find that hard to believe. Don't get me wrong, I love ENFJ's and I love the one I'm married to but you guys can be the most pushy, manipulative people ESPECIALLY when you think people need righting (even against their wishes). You'll find a back door somewhere.

We can be manipulative yes, guilty [emoji113]🏻 admitted.. We think of others' problems as being our own, yes [emoji85].. Now let's talk about pushy..
See you gotta know that when we give advise or a suggestion, we mostly sure that we know all aspects of the problem so when we're being pushy it's because you're about to get into a big trouble if you don't listen, believe me I know exactly when to be pushy because all people I have pushed either came to me giving me a big "thank you have saved my life I could have been ruined by now" or they show a regression for not have been listening to me..
When an ENFJ tells you something you gotta believe him because we KNOW people very well, therefor we KNOW the future scenarios if you took a certain decisions.. I don't remember when my expectations about any single problem or issue have gone wrong..
But INTJ tend to be defensive when we show them solutions, you don't listen to us people what can we do? You get what you asked for [emoji39] you can be quite pushy as a sign of caring for others don't you?
 

geedoenfj

The more you know..
Joined
Oct 6, 2015
Messages
3,347
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Ask away....I'm quite honest haha

Do you often have a dreams that you are too busy helping other people going up and down on elevators and stairs and driving cars and running just so you can help and comfort everyone? I dream about that everyday [emoji28]how about you?
 
Top