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[NF] How should one deal with NF's that are being overly emotional?

Magic Poriferan

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When someone is being a dick, they are usually being selfish...

Like you? ;) :D

...mean, and morally wrong...

But do try to recognize how immensely subjective these things are. Isn't is possible that someone would be unaware of what your moral values are, and what customs you consider necessary to avoid being mean? They could be oblivious of these thing while possessing no malice.

...and rather than face these facts and be accountable for their misdeeds or mistakes, they choose to blame or put it on someone else.

Hmmm. Okay, I get that. Incorreclty deferring the burden on oneself to someone else. Again, though, depending on the differences in subjective opinion, they may not recognize the factuality of their "misdeeds".
 

SillySapienne

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Maybe, but I picture it as being more easy to settle down with an INT.
My dad (INTP) married an INTJ, and he cheated on her left and right, lol, fwtw.

I like stimulating, challenging and exciting relationships, and that is why I will forever and always prefer/pursue an NT mate.
 

SillySapienne

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But do try to recognize how immensely subjective these things are. Isn't is possible that someone would be unaware of what your moral values are, and what customs you consider necessary to avoid being mean? They could be oblivious of these thing while possessing no malice.

. Again, though, depending on the differences in subjective opinion, they may not recognize the factuality of their "misdeeds".
AHHHHHHHHHHHH, your Fe is yet again killing me!!!

"A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it."

No, we define it.
Yeah, that was my point, you define "Truth", and we actually *see* Truth.

:smooch:
 

cascadeco

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What can be ineffective about saying "calm down", "you don't need to feel that way", or "don't feel like that", is that people don't generally enjoy feeling like crap, so if they knew how to calm down or stop, they certainly would. It is like telling a person with the flu to "chill out and quit throwing up" or "relax and quit having a headache". Such statements are often received with deepened frustration.

Treat the emotionally overwhelmed person in the same way you would treat a physically overwhelmed, ill person. Provide simple things that are made to help them feel better. Ask the person what they need to feel better. Perhaps say that you feel badly seeing them feel badly and would like to help, etc. without taking a superior role that implies their state is completely their fault and choice. People are much more complex than that and there are always cause and effect reasons for the way people experience life that are deeply compelling. Remaining calm, not allowing emotion to escalate, treating the person with respect, gently guiding them towards more correct thinking as they appear ready to receive it, are all typically effective strategies.

Uh...haven't read any of the past 4 pages, but back to the original post, I think what toonia writes is very good advice.
 

prplchknz

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When someone is being a dick, they are usually being selfish, mean, and morally wrong and rather than face these facts and be accountable for their misdeeds or mistakes, they choose to blame or put it on someone else.

wait are you saying anyone who doesn't have the same morals as you is a dick?

[just playing devils advocate]:whistling:
 

SolitaryWalker

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Hmm...

How should one deal with NF's that are being overly emotional?

Sounds like the in-between-the-lines message that I am receiving/reading here is that you are probably being an unbeknownst asshole. Perhaps you should try to work on that, i.e. your assholery, before you tackle the whole "NFs being overly emotional" thing. ;)

You know, the Fs mentioned in the OP will find one way or the other to be offended. There is nothing I can do to stop being an 'asshole' even when I try not to offend them!

Murkrow is on the right track. In most cases, you just state your reasoning and walk away, it doesn't matter if they registered what you said. Its hopeless because their emotional reaction will eclpise their faculties of rational cognition to the point where they simply cannot arrive at an objective understanding of what you said.

In most cases you won't need to be on good terms with such Fs. You may as well say nothing at all. But if you want your voice heard, do that.

If you need to be on good terms with them, than use my method.
 

sriv

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wait are you saying anyone who doesn't have the same morals as you is a dick?

[just playing devils advocate]:whistling:
Moral relativity is hard to argue against, but we cannot be unconditionally accepting.
 

Magic Poriferan

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AHHHHHHHHHHHH, your Fe is yet again killing me!!!

"A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it."

What? Are you implying that I don't believe what you just quoted? That's completely misinterpretation of what I'm getting at.

Truth, includes things like 2 + 2 = 4, and that the earth orbits around the sun.

Truth does not include the notion that homosexuality is wrong, or that you should never steal.

Do you see what the difference is?
You are treating your moral beliefs as fact. This is not correct.
I'm not contesting your Fi with Fe, I'm contesting it with Te and Ti. Your morality is not fact, and it's ignorant for you to assume that others will recognize it like fact. It's not always a moral obligation to consider that other people don't believe what you do, it's mostly a practical one.

Yeah, that was point, you define "Truth", and we actually *see* Truth.

:smooch:

This 100% baseless F vs T pissing contest is really killing me.
 

prplchknz

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Moral relativity is hard to argue against, but we cannot be unconditionally accepting.

true.but if someone doesn't have the same morals as me, I usually don't automatically assume they're a dick. Unless they're acting like their morals are the only ones that matter and if yours is slightly different that you are some how "wrong"
 

SillySapienne

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This is ri-dick-u-lous.

NTs, ironically are the most difficult people to reason with.
 

sriv

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true.but if someone doesn't have the same morals as me, I usually don't automatically assume they're a dick. Unless they're acting like their morals are the only ones that matter and if yours is slightly different that you are some how "wrong"
Correct. The problem is when someone makes an ass out of u and me without trying communication or compromise.
 

SillySapienne

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wait are you saying anyone who doesn't have the same morals as you is a dick?
Yeah, actually.

Most people are assholes, and I have been blessed or cursed to not happen to be one of them.

You know, the Fs mentioned in the OP will find one way or the other to be offended. There is nothing I can do to stop being an 'asshole' even when I try not to offend them!

Murkrow is on the right track. In most cases, you just state your reasoning and walk away, it doesn't matter if they registered what you said. Its hopeless because their emotional reaction will eclpise their faculties of rational cognition to the point where they simply cannot arrive at an objective understanding of what you said.

In most cases you won't need to be on good terms with such Fs. You may as well say nothing at all. But if you want your voice heard, do that.

If you need to be on good terms with them, than use my method.

Gah, Blah, and HA!!!

Two intelligent people with similar values will get along with, and appreciate each other.

The end.

-CC

P.S. :cry:
 

prplchknz

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Correct. The problem is when someone makes an ass out of u and me without trying communication or compromise.

exactly. I find it interesting how as an F I'm suppose to get offended at all these different things, but if it's a joke, and doesn't include people I know and like including myself I don't get offended. I do get offended when the person is being an arrogant jackoff and knows that they are. It takes alot to offend me, I know it's possible.
 

Magic Poriferan

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This is ri-dick-u-lous.

NTs, ironically the most difficult people to reason with.

That is pretty odd, isn't it? So odd that it seems to need some kind of outside explanation...

Do you ever consider that even 50% of it might be your fault? Really, you might want to go sit in BlueWing's corner. You can argue for eternity, F vs T, rough versus refined, brevity vs length. The only thing you'll share is an inability to reflect on your own short-comings.
 

SillySapienne

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What? Are you implying that I don't believe what you just quoted? That's completely misinterpretation of what I'm getting at.

Truth, includes things like 2 + 2 = 4, and that the earth orbits around the sun.

Truth does not include the notion that homosexuality is wrong, or that you should never steal.

Do you see what the difference is?
THE TRUTH IS, THAT HOMOSEXUALITY IS NOT WRONG!!!

And that it never has been, nor never will be wrong, regardless of how many ignoridiots there are who happen to believe otherwise.
 

murkrow

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Two intelligent people with similar values will get along with, and appreciate each other.

The end.

-CC

Reason is a universal language, your ears are just blocked.

Soon our voices will be loud enough.
 
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