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[NF] NFtensity - Wooosh!

Rachelinpa

New member
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Aug 4, 2008
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878
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ENFP
These thoughts stemming off of the ENFP/ENFP Thread...

I was reading all of your posts and thinking to myself that is EXACTLY how I am with the phone calls and texting. It's intense! How do you keep from freaking out another person at the beginning of a relationship? Do you try to hide the intensity and let it seep out slowly?

It's so rare for me to really connect with someone, but when I do, I could talk to them for hours and only hope they feel the same way. Are we prone towards being quality (hours and hours of) time oriented?

How do you manuever through the beginning of a relationship?

How do you neutralize the NFtensity? Or, do you find that it is received positively by other NFs?

To me, provided that I like you, no time is too much time to spend together. Even in the BEGINNING of a friendship or relationship. Space is unnecessary to me, but sometimes it takes people longer to warm up to that...

Thoughts?
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
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4w3
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Personally, when I feel the NFtensity coming on, it's probably someone else's fault. Like an NTP. I take off my shoe and proceed to lay a mighty mighty dainty smackdown, which may or may not include windmilling action ala Pete Townshend. Then, when I'm done raining them with dainty painless blows, I verbally upbraid them for the villains they are whilst declaring their possessions for the Mighty Pink Commonwealth of Awesome. Then, we might make out.

Either or. Either or.
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
3,166
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INFP
How do you neutralize the NFtensity? Or, do you find that it is received positively by other NFs?

Hmm, no way really. I do freak people. And they don't see it coming, since I'm I.
 

SillyGoose

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EXXP
PP, you're onto something about the NTP's. Gawd, I'm holding myself back from one right now....don't want to scare THIS one away.

Seriously though, at the begining of a relationship....I play games with myself....won't contact them until X amount of hours are up. Don't sign onto yahoo...occupy my time so that I'm not in their face :shock:

I feel more comfortable showing the intensity with another NF though, they just seem to get it right away.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
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PP, you're onto something about the NTP's. Gawd, I'm holding myself back from one right now....don't want to scare THIS one away.

An introvert? Cuz the Es are the ones with no brakes. Once you get the object of your affection's full attention, the pedal goes straight to the floor. :D You'll be pounding your heel into the mats and still go careening through many red lights, possibly shouting profanities!

Seriously though, at the begining of a relationship....I play games with myself....won't contact them until X amount of hours are up. Don't sign onto yahoo...occupy my time so that I'm not in their face :shock:

I feel more comfortable showing the intensity with another NF though, they just seem to get it right away.

Agreed about other Nfs. My other NFJ friends, we're very mano-y-mano. The NFPs are sympathetic.
 

MacGuffin

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xkcd
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Personally, when I feel the NFtensity coming on, it's probably someone else's fault. Like an NTP. I take off my shoe and proceed to lay a mighty mighty dainty smackdown, which may or may not include windmilling action ala Pete Townshend. Then, when I'm done raining them with dainty painless blows, I verbally upbraid them for the villains they are whilst declaring their possessions for the Mighty Pink Commonwealth of Awesome. Then, we might make out.

Either or. Either or.
Excuse me, but we NTPs are the chillaxed ones. Calm down!

We don't do anything!
 

SillyGoose

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PinkPiranha wrote: "An introvert?"

I had him take a couple of tests and he bordered on e/i. So, not sure. But he definitely prefers one on one communication and is very quiet around a lot of people, so I'm leaning more toward I.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
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PinkPiranha wrote: "An introvert?"

I had him take a couple of tests and he bordered on e/i. So, not sure. But he definitely prefers one on one communication and is very quiet around a lot of people, so I'm leaning more toward I.

Is this person in question an INTJ by any chance? INTJs can be very leery of NFedness at first, but I've found them really capable of handling emotion when they've decided you pass muster. Their Fi is very calming.
 

disregard

mrs
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
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INFP
I am a very intense, enthusiastic person. But I've learned how to conceal it.

Not to restrain it, though.
 

spirilis

Senior Membrane
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Personally, when I feel the NFtensity coming on, it's probably someone else's fault. Like an NTP. I take off my shoe and proceed to lay a mighty mighty dainty smackdown, which may or may not include windmilling action ala Pete Townshend. Then, when I'm done raining them with dainty painless blows, I verbally upbraid them for the villains they are whilst declaring their possessions for the Mighty Pink Commonwealth of Awesome. Then, we might make out.

Either or. Either or.
Someday, we're just going to give you a heart attack. Better be prepared!! :D
 

gokartride

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Jul 6, 2008
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100
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INFJ
I play with slot cars to disengage...and motor in my MINI. Honestly, having had four kids was a real gift in my life...it was easier to live in the moment, and I will say playing with Legos was good for the soul. :yes:
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
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It's so rare for me to really connect with someone, but when I do, I could talk to them for hours and only hope they feel the same way. Are we prone towards being quality (hours and hours of) time oriented?

I wanted to comment on this specifically.

As an ENFJ, I have no choice, I connect to everyone, sometimes all at once. It can be harrowing. As to deeply connecting (fusion), I still experience this frequently. More frequently than I would like. I wish I had more control over being involved with people.

I need a lot of space because of this.

Also, I do need time and contact to be comfortable with someone. I find my best relationships stemmed from being able to see them in action and be around them most every day in a setting like school or work. Takes the pressure off the two of you and leaves you free to react however you need/want to.

One ENTP guy, it was great getting to know him slowly because I might not have paid any attention to him otherwise (oblivious Ni). We could argue and get hot, and it wasn't a dire collapse. We could be ourselves. I even went furiously over a table after him one day, and that argument only succeeded in making us like each other more. That was before I knew about ENTPs being the cocky kid with the match and I'm the powder keg he wants to watch explode. tsk tsk.

I'm the one who needs adequate time to "warm up" or trust the situation. I move slowly.
 

alcea rosea

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I wanted to comment on this specifically.

As an ENFJ, I have no choice, I connect to everyone, sometimes all at once. It can be harrowing. As to deeply connecting (fusion), I still experience this frequently. More frequently than I would like. I wish I had more control over being involved with people.

I need a lot of space because of this.

I can relate to this very much and to the need of space too. I find it very difficult to "separate" myself from the general mood and from people when surrounded by people.

When I meet another NF (especially extroverted ones, because they are usually more easy to approach), I enjoy the moments fully. I really enjoy the intuitive- feeling based discussions. This one ENFJ at work especially, she was totally awesome to talk to. It's very rare to meet a person like that with who the discussion is so smooth.
 

SillyGoose

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Is this person in question an INTJ by any chance? INTJs can be very leery of NFedness at first, but I've found them really capable of handling emotion when they've decided you pass muster. Their Fi is very calming.

I'll have to do some more digging. Thanks for the though :)
 

Jeffster

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An introvert? Cuz the Es are the ones with no brakes. Once you get the object of your affection's full attention, the pedal goes straight to the floor. :D You'll be pounding your heel into the mats and still go careening through many red lights, possibly shouting profanities!

Let's go make out.
 

INA

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It is overwhelming and arouses distrust. Pls repress.
kthxbye
 

Domino

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Extrapolate.
 

INA

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The intensity can be such that it raises questions of sanity. And I don't just mean in romantic contexts . . . for example, I had one girl I had just met call and message me constantly.
 
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