I am going absolutely insane right now trying not to let myself call or text this girl...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HAHAHA! I can relate all too well!!!!!!!!!!
That's why I love to have rationals around me.
Perfect example: I have an aunt with whom I used to get along famously - we were like sisters rather than having an aunt-niece relationship. Then she turned "weird," and starting to get manipulative. For example, she insisted on the fact that I had to dump my husband or she wouldn't talk to me anymore - and my husband is a wonderful man, so it is not like she had a REASON to say that.
So I had to break contact. She also basically used me several times. She's an NT that makes the whole pack look like a bunch of manipulative, controlling monsters.
So anyway, every once in a while, I feel really bad about the situation, start second-guessing myself and thinking it was all my fault. You know, typical whatever-it-is taking over my Ne. Then my husband sits me down, looks me in the eye with his serious, rational tone and says:
"Okay, lets think about this a second. Your aunt used you for work even though she knew you needed the money. She's selfish and egotistical. She will use your good nature against you. She tried to make you give me up. THINK about this a minute!!!
I know you, and if you get into contact with her again, she will just hurt you. People do not change. I do not want to see you get hurt. Just let it go."
Whewwwwwwwwww, it helps to have a T for a husband. He appeals to and reminds me of my tertiary Te, which generally kicks in one minute before twelve and says, "WHOAAAAAAAAA...reign in that Fi, now, hon....Use that Ne, and remember what is really going on here."
Damn, I hate to admit it, but there are times when Bluey is right. When my Fi takes over, it is like WHOOOOOOOOOOOSH, and my Ne and Te just go WHOOOOOOOSHing away.
Same thing with positive feelings. When I like someone, I want to call them every second. Duuuude, not a good thing. And damn, I KNOW IT. But that little crazy Fi just goes jumping, jumping, jumping.
Or for example, when I get excited. Ne and Fi go into overkill. Like I want to start this new idea, so I had to e-mail some people. And the bastids haven't written me back yet. I've been complaining non-stop. "Darling!!! They haven't written back. They don't want me to do it. But I know I can do it, and I know I would be good, so God damn it!!! What is their problem?!?!?! Should I write them again? Did they get my e-mail?!?!?!"
And he tells me, "CAROLYN!!! Now do you remember what I told you!?!?!?!? These things take TIME - things like this do not happen overnight. Just stay calm - you need to be PATIENT!!! It will happen - trust me. And if it doesn't, we will find another way."
And I say, "Patient?!?!?! What does that mean????"
But he is right. Again, thank god I have a T for a husband. And because I think he has a good command of N as well, he knows how to argue rationally in a way that calms me down and does not totally piss me off.
If he had said, "DUDE, what is your effing problem? Why is this so important to you? It's just a silly project, not the end of the world. Why are you always so crazy and irrational, damn it?!!?!?! Get a mind. Grow a mind. Buy a mind. But get OVER IT!!!" I would have TOTALLY flipped out.
Ahhhhhh, thank god I have my husband to balance out this crazy rampant Fi sometimes. Good thing it only comes out to play once in a great while like that.
