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  1. #21
    Senior Member wedekit's Avatar
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    Nov 2007


    I don't try and deny my despair when I experience it; I know some people do. The worst part about despair to me is the feeling you get when you have searched for a grain of hope in anything, but you realize nothing shines as bright as what you lost or can't have. I went through some despair about my mortality after an emergency surgery I had to have back in March. I was stuck in bed for 2 weeks and it really got to me. I was mess. The future for me had turned into some kind of dark cloud that I couldn't see through. No future = no hope.

    I ended up forcing myself to attend my classes a week earlier than the doctor ordered and forced myself to get back in the groove of things. Doing all of the makeup work was difficult, especially since some of it was tests and quizzes I missed. It wasn't easy, but being back around what was familiar to me really took the edge out of my despair. The surgery was on my intestines too, so the stitches always ached when I moved or coughed. One word to describe it all: shitty.
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  2. #22
    Junior Member AscendingFlame's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine View Post
    It feels good to cry.
    It never does for me. My face bloats, my nose and throat swells, I can hardly breathe, my whole body hurts, it shows on the next day...

    Crying has never felt good for me. Unfortunately it happens anyway when the tears want out.

    But how do I deal with despair? I honestly don't know. Sometimes I cry until my heart and head is empty and there is just emptiness. Sometimes I ask my husband to just hold me without asking me any questions. He knows I need that sometimes. Sometimes I won't let the feeling take hold of me in the first place by watching a funny movie. Sometimes I blog. Sometimes I sing to loud, aggressive music. Sometimes I go out shopping. Sometimes I revert to my work-persona and make to-do lists that hang over me like the Sword of Damocles until I finally throw them away. I don't just have one way to deal. It totally depends on the situation and on what it is I'm desperate about. It also very much depends on the weather (literally).

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