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  1. #61
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    Still not sure.
    Something philosophical and creative, where socialization plays a role but where I can still go off alone. Something much more laid back than now.
    No rush. I believed people when they told me the career inspiration would come to me... Then I got upset because it didn't... Now it has. We're young still, you even more so than me. We have to give life time to beautifully unfold. Your answers will come from inside of you when the time is right.

  2. #62
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    No rush. I believed people when they told me the career inspiration would come to me... Then I got upset because it didn't... Now it has. We're young still, you even more so than me. We have to give life time to beautifully unfold. Your answers will come from inside of you when the time is right.
    Thank you.

    I am very quiet and reserved at work (I learned this art my last job, as I am more outgoing when I'm relaxed or excited.) and I recently had to fill out a personality test from this new company to make sure the job is a "fit." My mother guided me through it and my responses were kind of opposite of me except for the parts about being friendly and reserved.
    Money Runs the World,
    Might Makes Right,
    and There is No Meaning!

  3. #63
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    Thank you.

    I am very quiet and reserved at work (I learned this art my last job, as I am more outgoing when I'm relaxed or excited.) and I recently had to fill out a personality test from this new company to make sure the job is a "fit." My mother guided me through it and my responses were kind of opposite of me except for the parts about being friendly and reserved.
    Lol, yeah, a lot of jobs have crazy test things. They're awful. I hate to say lying is ever the best policy but I lie my ass off on those!

  4. #64
    Liberator Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    I feel I can never find what I need to be truly happy. It will forever remain elusive. It seems like I suck up negative energies everywhere I go, much like a vacuum cleaner or a sponge. I feel other's pain, I want to heal them but can't. My own home is a nexus of negativity. Even my writing and painting feels no deeper than playing with action figures. I need depth, but it evades me. It is a fickle sprite that remains just out of grasp. I always wonder if my next project will bring me the peace of mind and fulfillment I need, but it never does.
    IME, the best way to find happiness is to stop trying to find it and focus on other goals or desires instead. I don't even know what trying to be happy would look like. Instead, I try to find inspiration or fulfillment, friendship or experience; to learn something, to accomplish something, to help someone, even if it is something very small or ordinary. When I am able to do one or more of these, happiness is a natural by-product.

    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    Wow. You are doing exactly what I think people should be doing. That is rare. You are a wonderful, caring woman. Sociology, especially field research, seems fun, but there is also astronomy. I've loved the stars for as long as I can remember, and I am an advocate for dark skies. I lost a battle with a church who wanted to put a huge illuminated cross last year, and I miss the half of the visible stars I lost to the forces of light. I call them "forces of light" because they take away so much dark sky. What is humanity without the night sky?
    This reminded me of one of my favorite quotes:

    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  5. #65
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    Sorry just seeing this. I have been absent.
    Many happy returns. (And by return I mean - hope you come back.)
    Azul
    It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

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  6. #66
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    IME, the best way to find happiness is to stop trying to find it and focus on other goals or desires instead. I don't even know what trying to be happy would look like. Instead, I try to find inspiration or fulfillment, friendship or experience; to learn something, to accomplish something, to help someone, even if it is something very small or ordinary. When I am able to do one or more of these, happiness is a natural by-product.


    This reminded me of one of my favorite quotes:

    I bundle those, but I find those just as hard to find. I try to derive deep happiness from those experiences, but it all feels so shallow. At least I can pretend to be happy.

    I lost my train of thought, again…

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Lol, yeah, a lot of jobs have crazy test things. They're awful. I hate to say lying is ever the best policy but I lie my ass off on those!
    I understand why.
    Money Runs the World,
    Might Makes Right,
    and There is No Meaning!

  7. #67
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AzulEyes View Post
    Sorry just seeing this. I have been absent.
    Many happy returns. (And by return I mean - hope you come back.)
    Azul
    I'll probably only be on less often. I find it difficult to stay away.
    Money Runs the World,
    Might Makes Right,
    and There is No Meaning!

  8. #68
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    I bundle those, but I find those just as hard to find. I try to derive deep happiness from those experiences, but it all feels so shallow. At least I can pretend to be happy.

    I lost my train of thought, again…



    I understand why.
    Not to sound like a broken record, but again you're 18, and you're in the place where life for many people is sort of a muddled mess. You're learning how to blaze your own trail apart from what you've always known and loved when you were younger, you've seen the fallibility of your parents and the community, and you are beginning to dip your toes in the "real world". I think a lot of people feel disillusionment - especially us idealistic types - because adult life is not as as it seems it will be when you're younger. It's hyped up into this magic arena of opportunity where you will do what you love and you will build a big beautiful career and you will become somebody important and you will find exactly what you were meant to be and all of that dream stuff. And then you realize that there's a lot of bullshit and criticism and difficulty and failure. And people still expect you to look at it with the same the starry eyes that you had before, and part of you wants desperately to do that, and the other part of you wonders if you'll ever find happiness again.

    But, as you go, you find out that there is a small happiness to be found in the ups and downs of daily life, even though it may not be quite what you pictured, and that things do seem to sort themselves out. There's some line about how life is what happens when you're making plans, but I also think that plans tend to arise while you're busy living. If you go about whatever it is that you're going about, knowledge about what you want and what you need are going to arise as a natural consequence. I don't think you need to pretend to be happy, not in the sense that you need to stuff your feelings down while putting on a happy face. But I think what Coriolis is saying is try to do the things that make you stop thinking about happiness for a while. Get engaged, get involved, get caught up in something fun or ridiculous or difficult or puzzling. Go live some more life and forget about happiness for the moment being. Depth is inherent in life. You will find it if you are out there. And I think someone said this already, but exercise, if you're not. It basically guarantees you a period of chemically-induced happiness.

  9. #69
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
    I'll probably only be on less often. I find it difficult to stay away.
    Oh good!
    I try retiring from forums and then I regret it. I'm the same - trying to take longer breaks. (:
    It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

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  10. #70
    The Dark Lord The Wailing Specter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Not to sound like a broken record, but again you're 18, and you're in the place where life for many people is sort of a muddled mess. You're learning how to blaze your own trail apart from what you've always known and loved when you were younger, you've seen the fallibility of your parents and the community, and you are beginning to dip your toes in the "real world". I think a lot of people feel disillusionment - especially us idealistic types - because adult life is not as as it seems it will be when you're younger. It's hyped up into this magic arena of opportunity where you will do what you love and you will build a big beautiful career and you will become somebody important and you will find exactly what you were meant to be and all of that dream stuff. And then you realize that there's a lot of bullshit and criticism and difficulty and failure. And people still expect you to look at it with the same the starry eyes that you had before, and part of you wants desperately to do that, and the other part of you wonders if you'll ever find happiness again.

    But, as you go, you find out that there is a small happiness to be found in the ups and downs of daily life, even though it may not be quite what you pictured, and that things do seem to sort themselves out. There's some line about how life is what happens when you're making plans, but I also think that plans tend to arise while you're busy living. If you go about whatever it is that you're going about, knowledge about what you want and what you need are going to arise as a natural consequence. I don't think you need to pretend to be happy, not in the sense that you need to stuff your feelings down while putting on a happy face. But I think what Coriolis is saying is try to do the things that make you stop thinking about happiness for a while. Get engaged, get involved, get caught up in something fun or ridiculous or difficult or puzzling. Go live some more life and forget about happiness for the moment being. Depth is inherent in life. You will find it if you are out there. And I think someone said this already, but exercise, if you're not. It basically guarantees you a period of chemically-induced happiness.
    I could join a sorority. That sounds ridiculous enough that I just might like it. That said, my studies must always come first lest I lose my scholarship. I can only imagine what my mother would say. There is also that UU place I've been meaning to try. My mother has a tracker in me and always knows where I am, and she would be pissed if she knew I went across town to see a church, especially a non-JW church.

    I've been fast-walking at night a few times a week, but I should do more.

    I really can't mess up this next job. It will give me the power and resources to help others. Everybody should be helpful.
    Money Runs the World,
    Might Makes Right,
    and There is No Meaning!

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