[INFJ] do infjs have a hard time making big decisions?

[edcoaching]

Generally all Feeling types will demonstrate this tendency. Big decisions require analysis of complex situations. This requires Thinking.

Alternatively, if you're an F dominant and your thinking is so servile to your Feeling, you can easily convince yourself that what Feels right makes sense under all circumstances. This is likely the most significant difference between you and your INFJ friend.

Big analysis of complex situations requires both thinking and Feeling. Without the Feeling function one leaves out such important factors as:
• Does this fit with the values of key people
• How will my choice affect others?
• How will each option contribute to harmony and positive interactions?
• What are my personal reactions (likes and dislikes) to each alternative?
• How will others respond?
• Am I committed if I choose this direction?
• Can I get the support I need if this decision is made?
• How will this affect my other priorities?

 

[the state i am in]

all decisions are too difficult.

yes, the grocery store feels like a very hostile environment reading the backs of food labels and feeling bombarded by proctor and gamble. brand names, product placement, poor people processed food, impulse buys, exhausting.

deciding where to eat is extremely based on mood, otherwise i've got nothing and it takes me two hours to decide where to get lunch. then i go to one of the three places open past 2 pm.

big decisions like relationships, job, future, CITY, medium, etc- i just short circuit. i have to be able to see the end result, but what i want is so contextual and close to me (spatially) and just like a picture in my head. it is always an idea, more than it is anything else. it is really hard for me to commit unless Ni comes back with 100% relevancy and absolutely no remainder. Ti sort of helps, sometimes, when i'm chemically altered. i at least am able to logically form fragments of sentences, and connect ideas into certain shapes like a puzzle that at least on its way.

i've taken to flipping a coin and then deciding if my coin-flip produced the best result. somehow it helps.

 

[Udog]

In my experience, INFJs are good at the big decisions (doesn't mean it's easy, they are just good at it), but are a bit lost at making the small ones. It's a good thing that 'choosing a restaurant' isn't a life skill.

 

[cascadeco]

Just curious--I have an infj friend who seems to have a hard time making big decisions, to the point of maybe not making a decision. I'm an enfj and I think I almost have too easy of a time making big decisions, maybe too impulsively sometimes. Do infjs just think and think and think?

I'd say it depends. But that's what I say about most things. ;-)

I think when it comes to big decisions, I want it to be the 'right' one for me. On all levels. Not just does it 'feel' right, but does it even make sense? Does it set me on the path I want to be on, or does it make me head in a direction I truly don't want to go? And if it keeps me on the right path, does it then cause other aspects of my life that I equally value to deteriorate or be impacted negatively? There's often a balance between several variables that I'm weighing. So it can take quite some time (weeks or months) for me to sift through things and work through all the connections. And it's also often not an active process. Part of it is active, but a big part of it is just letting all of these thoughts and impressions sit there in my subconscious and sift on their own. I don't know how to describe it. Sorry. The active part (thinking through logistics, impacts, etc etc) occurs after the inactive part reaches resolution. Or they sometimes go in tandem...eh, I dunno. It varies I suppose.

I would imagine from the outside that it appears I'm not doing anything for quite some time, and sometimes I feel that way myself - annoyed with my inactivity. But I also know I just need to let things sift in their own time. Also from the outside, I know when I do start moving and setting things in motion, it appears quite sudden -- and this would be because my decision-making process isn't done on the outside. I decide on something, then initiate it. So in that sense, I know some of my big life decisions may have seemed really sudden and possibly rather rash to outsiders. But the reality is they're anything but rash, because I've already put tons of time into thinking through all of it, and all of the implications of the decision.

Little decisions don't really cause me many problems. I will say though that logistical things and stuff like that can really annoy me, so I don't LIKE spending time researching/making those decisions. I'll do it, but it's a bother.

 

[the state i am in]

I think when it comes to big decisions, I want it to be the 'right' one for me. On all levels. Not just does it 'feel' right, but does it even make sense? Does it set me on the path I want to be on, or does it make me head in a direction I truly don't want to go? And if it keeps me on the right path, does it then cause other aspects of my life that I equally value to deteriorate or be impacted negatively? There's often a balance between several variables that I'm weighing. So it can take quite some time (weeks or months) for me to sift through things and work through all the connections. And it's also often not an active process. Part of it is active, but a big part of it is just letting all of these thoughts and impressions sit there in my subconscious and sift on their own. I don't know how to describe it. Sorry. The active part (thinking through logistics, impacts, etc etc) occurs after the inactive part reaches resolution. Or they sometimes go in tandem...eh, I dunno. It varies I suppose.

I would imagine from the outside that it appears I'm not doing anything for quite some time, and sometimes I feel that way myself - annoyed with my inactivity. But I also know I just need to let things sift in their own time. Also from the outside, I know when I do start moving and setting things in motion, it appears quite sudden -- and this would be because my decision-making process isn't done on the outside. I decide on something, then initiate it. So in that sense, I know some of my big life decisions may have seemed really sudden and possibly rather rash to outsiders. But the reality is they're anything but rash, because I've already put tons of time into thinking through all of it, and all of the implications of the decision.

i agree 100%. i usually have to hear myself talk a lot, ask everyone i know their opinion of MY situation, sleep on it, write write write, stare at the ceiling, and then like re-compile it everyday until all the bugs and glaring inconsistencies are worked out. but as soon as i know, i KNOW. Ni makes every decision feel like an epistemological true or false.