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  1. #1
    Junior Member Clementine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014

    Question How do you process heartbreak?

    I am an INFJ and I have recently ended a relationship with somebody that I loved a lot. I still love him, however, he hurt me (physically) and I had to end it.

    I saw him yesterday and we said our final goodbyes. I thought I was "over him", but today I am wrought with emotions. I feel physically sick, and extremely sad. I can feel it to the very core. My body aches, I just want to lay in bed and cry until it passes and the sunshine comes back.

    How do you feel and process relationship trauma/pain? What do you find helps?

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    4w5 sp
    INFj Ne


    I cry a lot and leave the rest to self-indulgence, telling myself I'm better than everyone and that I don't need anyone at all. It's not very constructive, but what can you do when no one is there for you? In a few days or so I'll feel better, but you can't entirely eliminate the sadness. Just when you think you've gotten over it and the person is far way, you awake from a dream that has to do with the person you once loved. You start remembering the positive things and how much you miss it, you feel miserable and all alone. For me growth comes in realizing that's how life is for everyone, just full of disappointments. So what I'm disappointed? I can't be miserable forever! If you must cry, cry. But don't wallow for all eternity! It's actually very healthy to set your feelings aside once in a while, although cliché, look for positive things to do instead. It's not easy, I know.

  3. #3
    Tabula Rasa Lady Lazarus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    9w1 sp/sx


    I luckily have yet to expirence heartbreak. In my last relationship I was very good at accepting that it was over and there was nothing I could do about it. Undoubtedly because I had realized by then that I was disappointingly enough not in love with him and I knew it would end this way once I entered a phase where I was no longer infatuated with him as well as began planning to end it. Had the break up occurred within the phases where I was still deeply and intensely infatuated with him, I'm certain I would have faired much worse.

    So, I would recommend coming to terms with it by realizing that what is done is done, and beginning to move on as the sooner you begin to do so, the sooner the heartbreak will be at it's end.

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