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[NF] NF Females How do you Like being Approached?

á´…eparted

passages
Joined
Jan 25, 2014
Messages
8,265
I'm a gay man, but I'm going to answer this anyway, so nyah :tongue10:.

Also I LOVE being approached. Mostly because, I feel like I have to do the approaching to get things started every time :dry:.

What do you look for in a man, both physically and in personality?

Physically it can essentially summed up by this: turn the manly dial up to 11. Also bigger than me (bigger is better).

Personality is a bit hard to describe. I want them at my level of extroversion. If it's too low I run them into the ground and I get bored. I like doing things and being social and doing things helps me bind. I want them to be physically playful. Of a usually cheerful disposition. Sort of like an excitable puppy? But also intelligent and knows how to buckle down.

How do you feel about traditional gender roles?

Indifferent. People be who they want to be. I personally want to stick closer to a traditionally male role, and I would want the same in my partner.

What did you look for in boys-physically and in personality-when you were in high school/college?

About the same as now really. I mean physical things have changed slightly, but they're consistent. Personality wise it doesn't drift much. Though I have a much better sense of what I don't want.

Do you ever wear revealing clothing? What is your primary method for finding a man?

Never, and I am reserved to the internet becuase I has le gay.

When choosing a guy, do you focus your energy on one guy at a time or do you test the waters and choose the best one?

I go with the flow. I prefer to focus, but if other options call I will go to them.
 

Lia_kat

New member
Joined
Jan 6, 2016
Messages
750
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Physically, I have my ideal of dark features, long hair, toned, etc but superficial attributes are left behind when I find someone I connect with on a deep level. I love a man that has a great sense of humor, intelligent and knowledgeable, artistic or musically-inclined, kind and easygoing, down-to-earth, open-minded, confident, in touch with his femine side.

I'm not too fond of traditional gender roles. Although a man taking charge - unaggresively - and being chivalrous is welcomed.

In high school/school/college, my preferences were incredibily similar to what they are now except I would, injudiciously, ignore certain behaviors (conceitedness, rudeness, disrespect) if they were exceptionally good-looking.

I don't really wear revealing clothing, except maybe a short skirt at times or a low-cut blouse. I much prefer clothing that is expressive and dark.

My primary method for finding a man is nothing... Except be myself? I don't know, I have never been the type to look for men. They find me and we either click or don't. It's how I met my ENFJ husband. When choosing, it depends. If I have a great connection with one in particular, I focus my energy on him. If there are a few at a time and they are not too stimulating, I test the waters for a bit or just leave.
 

wolfnara

New member
Joined
Jul 22, 2015
Messages
508
MBTI Type
ISFJ
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
What do you look for in a man, both physically and in personality?
How do you feel about traditional gender roles?
What did you look for in boys-physically and in personality-when you were in high school/college?
Do you ever wear revealing clothing? What is your primary method for finding a man?
When choosing a guy, do you focus your energy on one guy at a time or do you test the waters and choose the best one?

- I can't think of anything in particular. Just someone who doesn't act like a jerk and is not too loud or abrasive.
- I think they are nonsense. You only have to look around and observe people to see that. It is naive to believe they are actually true, and unfair to make generalizations towards each gender. I hear men and women do this about the opposite sex almost everyday.
- ? I don't try to attract men by wearing revealing clothing. When I do wear that kind of clothes it is because I like the design of it. I don't consider how it affects other people. Primary method - Just be myself, without acting weird of course.
- One person at a time. Its not a choice, just happens.
 

Litsnob

New member
Joined
Jan 22, 2016
Messages
301
What do you look for in a man, both physically and in personality?

I suppose we all respond to what we find sexually attractive but I don't think about that consciously. I will notice faces before bodies, a warm but slightly shy looking smile appeals to me. I tend to prefer introverts with confidence, no apparent arrogance, not too boisterous, so however this appears in face and body I will take note. I am attracted to sincerity, intelligence a touch of shyness and a genuinely warm smile. For some reason I also like male hands and I notice those.

In a partner I want intellectual equality and the stimulation of dialogue and a love of learning between us. I want kindness, empathy, affection and sincerity. I want a man who understands me or makes an effort to, asks me for clarification if he is unsure, gives me the benefit of the doubt. A sense of humour similar to mine will appeal to me, and I would estimate at least 60% common interests would also appeal. Otherwise I want emotional support and encouragement from him for my endeavours and a good balance of belief in me and the ability to gently re-direct me if I am off track.


How do you feel about traditional gender roles?

That is complicated. I feel that people should be able to pursue whatever gender role they wish to and that it is just best if couples are well matched. I like to take care of people I love. I love to feed them. I tend to like looking after someone but it's a gift. I would not like it if it were an expectation and I need it to be appreciated. I require intellectual equality in a relationship so I expect equal opportunity to pursue education, interests and activities. Personal preferences do mean that when dividing up chores I am likely to take on the more traditionally female ones. I want a man who will shovel the snow and mow the lawn because I'm not going to be doing that.

What did you look for in boys-physically and in personality-when you were in high school/college?

When I was younger I had some sort of vague sense of some of the things I've mentioned above but it would have been more focused on the basics like kindness, intelligence, sense of humour, a certain degree of shyness or introversion. The two are different though I am open to both. I am an introvert myself slightly but not very shy.

Do you ever wear revealing clothing? What is your primary method for finding a man?

I do not wear revealing clothing. It's not a moral judgment just my own comfort level. I do not deliberately dress modestly either. My definition of modest or revealing may not be the same as someone else's but I do not equate being sexy with revealing clothing. I am naturally good at flirting, though it will be more mental than physical. I touch people when I like them but that can apply to other females as well. A guy I am interacting with may not know that though. I will probably touch his arm when talking to him. I will make a lot of eye contact, smile a lot, laugh at his jokes and generally give the message that I am interested. It will be sincere though sometimes I mistakenly give the message that I am romantically interested when I am interested in only friendship. The signals are different but my friendliness can be mistaken. If I seem more confident that means less is at stake for me and either I only seek friendship, not romance, or I don't even care about friendship. I may be less confident if I'd really like a friendship but am not sure if that is reciprocated.


When choosing a guy, do you focus your energy on one guy at a time or do you test the waters and choose the best one?

If I test the waters it doesn't last long as I am a fairly decisive person. I prefer to focus on one person at a time.
 

Litsnob

New member
Joined
Jan 22, 2016
Messages
301
Oh, I forgot the part about being approached. I love being approached if I am single. When I was younger, if approached but not available it kind of panicked me and I didn't deal with it well. I would be ruder than intended because I was just trying to be clear. I am aware that I am friendly and can give off encouraging signals so sometimes I overcompensate. Since I am not likely to do any approaching myself, but more likely to make myself available, yes, I like to be approached.
 

Cloudpatrol

Senior(ita) Member
Joined
Jan 26, 2016
Messages
2,163
What do you look for in a man, both physically and in personality?

Physically can run the gamut. Personality: Healthy self-esteem but not full of self. Self-deprecating humor is attractive and being funny is a huge turn on. Kind and a willingness to understand differences if not agree with them. Someone who is communicative.

How do you feel about traditional gender roles?

Such a broad question. In regard to dating? Comfortable with the modern approach. I still appreciate gentleman and enjoy being a girl. Equality is nice, and so are 'roles' when agreed upon.

What did you look for in boys-physically and in personality-when you were in high school/college?

Most often drawn to tall, thin guys with dark hair but had boyfriends with many different characteristics. In personality I have often been attracted to boys utterly wrong for me: complicated, withdrawn, funny but unaware of their own emotions, troubled and often musicians or actors.

Do you ever wear revealing clothing? What is your primary method for finding a man?

Not often but occasionally if the mood hits. Tend to wear clothing that is sexy in a classy way rather than overtly 'in the face'. If I enjoy the clothing I wear it makes me feel good and that makes me more attractive to guys then wearing specific items designed for attention. Being sociable and making friends. I am usually friends with boys before lovers.

When choosing a guy, do you focus your energy on one guy at a time or do you test the waters and choose the best one?

If single then all waters are being tested but if I have a sincere interest then I won't have any focus but on that one person until it is resolved one way or the other.
 
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