[NF] Being watched

[small.wonder]

Hmm...being watched. It seems I'm usually the one doing the people watching, but yes I think I usually notice it when an individual is watching me. I think I'm "noticed" more than "watched" though, like in passing people's facial expressions usually change when they see me. Some grimace, some tilt their head, some widen their eyes but an expression usually happens. I agree with [MENTION=16139]Honor[/MENTION] though that an individual watching me doesn't really bother me, and even sort of intrigues me (perhaps because I do it to other people). I don't think I've ever acknowledged the watcher, though perhaps I should because I want to know what they are thinking. Is it similar to what I think when I watch people?

 

[zago]

I'm an NT and I don't like being watched. Over Christmas I had my guitar and a family-friend gathering and people started to watch me play and compliment me. I stopped and said I didn't want to be paid attention to. When people began having conversation again that had nothing to do with me, I was able to play in the background.

 

[Lady_X]

i'm okay with it, i think. i mean...just normal style people looking at you or maybe watching you do something. people kind of watch me all the time while i work. it's kind of weird knowing all these eyes are on me while i'm looking at someone else but it's whatever.

 

[Eluded_One]

From an anecdotal perspective, most of the INFJ's I've known, immensely disliked being stared at; even by their intimate partners, and going as far as verbally expressing their disapproval of being stared at. All but one INFJ I knew. He's a singer and a musician, in which case, you have little choice to pursue a career in the music industry unless being on the center stage was one of them. Metaphorically, he often speaks about the mask he has to put up at work or on stage.

As an INFP and knowing others who had to deal with insecurities such as this one, our reaction in dealing with being stared at was a bit more discreet, as we kept it mostly to ourselves, only until the topic came up in conversation. I feel as though, within the INFx dissemblance, having a "J" is more orderly and have an instinctual... "ok this has worked for me, why change it" attitude.

 

[skylights]

Hovering is different from being watched, though, right? I cannot stand it when someone invades my personal space, but I could care less about being watched. I think I like it actually.

I feel the same. I really don't like it when someone hovers, especially when I'm doing something difficult, like decorating a cake. I don't mind if they watch at a bit of a distance, though. It's flattering.

 

[prplchknz]

I'll be doing awesome at a task then someone starts watching and suck hardcore

 

[meowington]

From an anecdotal perspective, most of the INFJ's I've known, immensely disliked being stared at; even by their intimate partners, and going as far as verbally expressing their disapproval of being stared at. All but one INFJ I knew. He's a singer and a musician, in which case, you have little choice to pursue a career in the music industry unless being on the center stage was one of them. Metaphorically, he often speaks about the mask he has to put up at work or on stage.

As an INFP and knowing others who had to deal with insecurities such as this one, our reaction in dealing with being stared at was a bit more discreet, as we kept it mostly to ourselves, only until the topic came up in conversation. I feel as though, within the INFx dissemblance, having a "J" is more orderly and have an instinctual... "ok this has worked for me, why change it" attitude.

very useful thanks.

Funny you mention "putting up a mask". That's a metaphore I use a lot too. It's hard for me to be myself when you're very sensitive to everything that goes on in social contexts and when you're very aware of social expectations and stigma's.
Plus, I'm also very good at noticing when other people are hiding their true self.

Again, I think my intuition is often a burden in social settings. I envy how perhaps an S or P type is way more laid back.

 

[beyondaurora]

I'm an NT and I don't like being watched. Over Christmas I had my guitar and a family-friend gathering and people started to watch me play and compliment me. I stopped and said I didn't want to be paid attention to. When people began having conversation again that had nothing to do with me, I was able to play in the background.

Exactly the same with me (different instrument, though).

I once worked in a suite where my desk was situated smack dab in the middle of a dozen executive's glass-walled offices. Absolute freakin' nightmare.

 

[meowington]

Exactly the same with me (different instrument, though).

I play guitar too and I'm also not really comfortable with playing in front of people yet, but I think that's a matter of experience and if that is your aim I think you get used to playing for an audience rather easily. You have to put your mind into the playing anyway.

I once worked in a suite where my desk was situated smack dab in the middle of a dozen executive's glass-walled offices. Absolute freakin' nightmare.

My desk has been in the middle of about 10 executives for 5 years. Turned out to be great for my social skills & development but also too draining in the long run. I got an office on my own now.

 

[LonestarCowgirl]

[MENTION=4299]miauwington[/MENTION], what does miauwington mean?

 

[meowington]

[MENTION=20075]Skinny-Love[/MENTION], the cat of Ross & Monica in Friends was called Fluffy Meowington(/Miauwington)

 

[Stansmith]

I have a habit of assuming that people see me and think I'm putting on some sort of performance whenever I leave the house with my camera or any other hobby piece that draws attention, even though it's most likely a figment of my imagination. The last thing I want is for someone to be 'intrigued' by me under false pretenses, or to assume that I think I'm worthy of their attention for that reason alone.

 

[Noll]

I don't like people watching me at the computer or when I'm sleeping. I also get anxious when people stare at me in some form, my clothes or the way I walk. There's a girl in my class who always gazes at my shoes, it makes me feel weird. And yes, I forgot - people watching me write... Worst thing ever!

 

[meowington]

I have a habit of assuming that people see me and think I'm putting on some sort of performance

yeah I had that habit too when I was a kid. but more preposterous. I imagined the whole world was some elaborate setup for a play with me as the main character. Like the main idea behind the Truman Show and I've heard this same idea from others too.

 

[Such Irony]

I can't stand it either. It's creepy and wierd and invasive.

Same here and I think the majority would agree regardless of type. Unless you're some major attention whore or something.

 

[Froody Blue Gem]

I really hate it a lot, it makes me mess up and make mistakes, with people scrutinizing me. Being someone who values privacy, people observing me makes me feel like a prey animal and induces the fight or flight response if they watch me for long enough. I need some space to breathe and when my every move is watched, I do not get the breathing space that I require to exist.

 

[Coriolis]

Not an NF, and I strongly dislike being watched, unless I am giving a presentation or doing some other thing where being watched is an essential part of it.

 

[Firebird 8118]

I definitely get super flustered when I know I’m being watched... I’ll often laugh inappropriately out of sheer nervousness or avoid direct eye contact... I might even try to hide my face in my hands in embarrassment, or just rub the back of my neck with one hand when answering any questions.

In a nutshell, I’m even more awkward than usual when I’m being watched. I hate it and wish I had more charm, elegance and maturity...

 

[Abcdenfp]

I don't like being watched either or observed to closely its something about it makes me feel very prickly. But my ultimate being observed fear is walking into rooms by myself, like a fancy restaurant or yacht club in the day or into a party with people I don't know, who feel elitist, I am immediately uncomfortable and go into "I don't belong here" mode. I become weirdly unsociable like its me against everyone and I have total disinterest in meeting new people. My best friend who is also a ENFP seems to flourish in these environments so its odd. people are always surprised that I feel that way but its true.

 

[cascadeco]

Whether or not I like it is kind of a moot point; I've worked at starbucks for over four years and one has to get used to being watched. The worst used to be when at bar and basically everyone stares at you while waiting for their drink. I've learned to ignore it/ block it out, but I still really can't stand the 'hoverers' who are basically right in front of my face or even peering over the bar watching. It's like -- gtf away you impatient paranoid person. The other day a guy and his girlfriend decided to just cut into their spinach wrap right in front of me - I could smell it wafting towards me and hear them chewing as I was making drinks. That was really irritating.