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[MBTI General] ENFPs and INFJs. Why?

Martian Manifesto

New member
Joined
Aug 21, 2008
Messages
180
MBTI Type
INFJ
Clearly, INFJs make outstanding parents. You and I are lucky.

They can also be very demanding though, in regards to personal mastery. Personal mastery sound spiffy, but it can be a bit much. This comes from a good place though and an INFJ defending/aiding their offspring is a supernatural creature.

Both parents are INFJ, as am I.

No brothers. Both sisters are SJs. Go figure.
 

Martian Manifesto

New member
Joined
Aug 21, 2008
Messages
180
MBTI Type
INFJ
^^ :shock:

Find The Jake??

Wow. You're back! Or not.

Good seeing ya again.

The forum has grown since you've gone -- for instance, we are amassing small armies of INFJs and ENFPs for the impending war.

I volunteer my services for this war.
- Me
 

Martian Manifesto

New member
Joined
Aug 21, 2008
Messages
180
MBTI Type
INFJ
In case anybody cares:

INFJs are warm and affirming people who are usually also deep and complex. They're likely to seek out and promote relationships that are intense and meaningful. They tend to be perfectionists, and are always striving for the Ultimate Relationship. For the most part, this is a positive feature, but sometimes works against the INFJ if they fall into the habit of moving from relationship to relationship, always in search of a more perfect partner. In general, the INFJ is a deeply warm and caring person who is highly invested in the health of their close relationships, and puts forth a lot of effort to make them positive. They are valued by those close to them for these special qualities. They seek long-term, lifelong relationships, although they don't always find them.



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INFJ Strengths

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Warm and affirming by nature
Dedicated to achieving the ultimate relationship
Sensitive and concerned for others' feelings
Usually have good communication skills, especially written
Take their commitments very seriously, and seek lifelong relationships
Have very high expectations for themselves and others (both a strength and weakness)
Good listeners
Are able to move on after a relationship has ended (once they're sure it's over)


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INFJ Weaknesses

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Tendency to hold back part of themselves
Not good with money or practical day-to-day life necessities
Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism
Have very high expectations for themselves and others (both a strength and weakness)
Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship


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INFJs as Lovers

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"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." -- Rollo May


INFJs are warm, considerate partners who feel great depth of love for their partners. They enjoy showing this love, and want to receive affirmation back from their mates.

They are perfectionists, constantly striving to achieve the Perfect Relationship. This can sometimes be frustrating to their mates, who may feel put upon by the INFJs demanding perfectionism. However, it may also be greatly appreciated, because it indicates a sincere commitment to the relationship, and a depth of caring which is not usually present in other types.

Sexually, INFJs view intimacy as a nearly spiritual experience. They embrace the opportunity to bond heart and soul with their mates. As service-oriented individuals, it's very important to them that their mates are happy. Intimacy is an opportunity for the INFJ to selflessly give their love, and experience it in a tangible way.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, INFJ's natural partner is the ENTP, or the ENFP. INFJ's dominant function of Introverted Intuition is best matched with a personality type that is dominated by Extraverted Intuition. How did we arrive at this?
 

Martian Manifesto

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INFJ
ENFP Relationships


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ENFPs take their relationships very seriously, but also approach them with a childlike enthusiasm and energy. They seek and demand authenticity and depth in their personal relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort into making things work out. They are warm, considerate, affirming, nurturing, and highly invested in the health of the relationship. They have excellent interpersonal skills, and are able to inspire and motivate others to be the best that they can be. Energetic and effervescent, the ENFP is sometimes smothering in their enthusiasm, but are generally highly valued for their genuine warmth and high ideals.



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ENFP Strengths

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Most ENFPs will exhibit the following strengths with regards to relationships issues:

Good communication skills
Very perceptive about people's thought and motives
Motivational, inspirational; bring out the best in others
Warmly affectionate and affirming
Fun to be with - lively sense of humor, dramatic, energetic, optimistic
Strive for "win-win" situations
Driven to meet other's needs
Usually loyal and dedicated


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ENFP Weaknesses

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Most ENFPs will exhibit the following weaknesses with regards to relationship issues:

Tendency to be smothering
Their enthusiasm may lead them to be unrealistic
Uninterested in dealing with "mundane" matters such as cleaning, paying bills, etc.
Hold onto bad relationships long after they've turned bad
Extreme dislike of conflict
Extreme dislike of criticism
Don't pay attention to their own needs
Constant quest for the perfect relationship may make them change relationships frequently
May become bored easily
Have difficulty scolding or punishing others


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ENFPs as Lovers

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"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." -- Rollo May


ENFPs make warm, considerate, passionate partners who are generally willing, eager, and able to do whatever it takes to make The Relationship a positive place to be. They are enthusiastic, idealistic, focused on other people's feelings, and very flexible. These attributes combine to make them especially interested in positive personal relationships, and also makes them very able to promote strong relationships in fun and creative ways. ENFPs take their commitments very seriously, and are generally deeply loyal and faithful to their partners.

There are a couple of difficult relationship areas for the ENFP. The first problem is that many ENFPs have a problem leaving bad relationships. They tend to internalize any problems and take them on their own shoulders, believing that the success or failure of the relationship is their own responsibility. As perfectionists, they don't like to admit defeat, and will stick with bad situations long after they should have left. When they do leave the relationship, they will believe that the failure was their fault, and that there was surely something they could have done to save the relationship.

On the entirely other end of the spectrum, many ENFPs have a difficult time staying focused and following things through to completion. If they have not focused on their ability to follow through, they may have problems staying in dedicated, monogamous relationships. They are so in tune with all of the exciting possibilities of what could be, that they will always fantasize about a greener pasture out there somewhere. If they are not paired with a partner who enjoys new experiences, or who shares their idealistic enthusiasm, the ENFP may become bored. The ENFP who is bored and who is not focused will be very unhappy, and will eventually "leave" the relationship if the problem is not addressed.

Since relationships are central to the ENFP's life, they will be very "hands on" and involved with their intimate relationships. They may be in the habit of constantly asking their partner how they're doing, what they're feeling, etc. This behavior may be a bit smothering, but it also supports a strong awareness of the health (or illness) of the relationship.

Sexually, The ENFP is creative, perfectionistic, playful and affectionate. Their rich fantasy world makes them fun and creative lovers, who usually have new ideas up their sleeves. They whole-heartedly embrace the opportunity for closeness with their mates, believing sexual intimacy to be a positive, fun way to express how much you love each other.

The ENFP needs to be given positive assurance and affirmation. More than one ENFP has been known to "go fishing" for compliments. They like to hear from their significant others that they are loved and valued, and are willing and eager to return the favor. They enjoy lavishing love and affection on their mates, and are creative and energetic in their efforts to please. The ENFP gets a lot of their personal satisfaction from observing the happiness of others, and so is generally determined to please and serve their partners.

A problem area for ENFPs in relationships is their dislike of conflict and sensitivity to criticism. They are perfectionists who believe that any form of criticism is a stab at their character, which is very difficult for them to take. Conflict situations are sources of extreme stress to the ENFP. They have a tendency to brush issues under the rug rather than confront them head-on, if there is likely to be a conflict. They are also prone to "give in" easily in conflict situations, just to end the conflict. They might agree to something which goes against their values just to end the uncomfortable situation. In such cases, the problem is extended and will return at a later time. The ENFP needs to realize that conflict situations are not the end of the world. They are entirely normal, and can be quite helpful for the growth of a relationship. They also need to work on taking criticism for what it is, rather than blowing up any negative comment into an indictment against their entire character.

Generally, the ENFP is a warm and affirming creature who is very interested and able to have an intense, meaningful, close relationship with their mate.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, ENFP's natural partner is the INTJ, or the INFJ. ENFP's dominant function of Extraverted Intuition is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Introverted Intuition. How did we arrive at this?
 

Martian Manifesto

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INFJ
Natural Partners

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You may be interested in understanding how we came to the conclusion that certain types are ideal for each other. Our type pairing is a result of combining observation, research, and understanding of Jungian psychological type. Observation and research of married couples shows that there is a definite trend in types that are attracted to each other, and in type combinations that have the longest lasting relationships. Our understanding of psychological type helps to see that these types typically have the same dominant function, but with a different attitude.

In Jungian terms, "functions" refer to the four core traits: Intuition (N), Sensing (S), Feeling (F), and Thinking (T). The term "attitude" refers to the direction of the function, i.e. Introverted (I) or Extraverted (E).

So, for example, a person with a personality type of ISFP has a dominant function of Introverted Feeling. More specifically, Feeling in the dominant function, and its attitude (or direction) is Introverted. A person with this personality type is likely to be most attracted to, and fit best with, a person that has Extraverted Feeling dominating their personality. Extraverted Feeling dominates the personality types ESFJ and ENFJ. We therefore determine that the ISFP's natural partner is the ESFJ or the ENFJ.

Our natural attraction to people who share our dominant function, but who use it in a different direction works very well for us. We not only flip-flop the Introverted or Extraverted trait, but we also flip-flop the Judging or Perceiving trait. In this way, the partner that we choose for ourselves will have a very different approach to dealing with the world. If we are laid-back and indecisive, our partner will be structured and decisive. If we are reserved, our partner will be outgoing. For all of our apparent differences, we will share a common vision of what's truly important in life.

For people whose personality types are dominated by Decision Making functions, (i.e. Thinking or Feeling), their ideal partners will include both Sensing and Intuitive types. Many people have problems communicating effectively with people who do not share their same preference for Information Gathering. So, if you have a very strong preference for Sensing or Intuition, you will need to give the personality type with the same preference a higher value as a likely natural partner. For example, an ISFP who strongly prefers Sensing will work best with an ESFJ, rather than an ENFJ.

Although we believe firmly that this model works very well to help in finding and maintaining healthy relationships, it is important to remember that it's just a tool. We offer guidelines to help you understand the kinds of things that you value in a relationship, rather than guidelines that you need to follow strictly. Two well-developed individuals of any type can make a relationship work. And work is a key concept here! There is no such thing as an effortless relationship. Don't use this model as an excuse to dump your relationship.

P.S.: all this stuff is from The Personality Page
 

Wyst

lurking....
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lol i know what website you got that from.
 

DigitalMethod

Content. Content?
Joined
May 4, 2008
Messages
970
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INTJ
I'm tempted to say that the more introverted the INFJ is the more attracted to INTJs, INFPs, they will be.
 

mlittrell

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It actually mentioned that on that website.

tread lightly. Those websites are...ehh. Ok, from my own personal experience, there is a good contrast between the Ni of the INFJ and the Ne of the ENFP. ENFP's are also likely to express their appriciation for the INFJ and the INFJ is a good sense or moral structure for the ENFP (not that we need moral structure but structure in general is nice). They are also willing to deal with the ever changing ENFP. From what I can tell. I don't know many INFJ's (unfortunately) so it can be hard to tell. Would an INFJ like to back up my point?
 

Wyst

lurking....
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tread lightly. Those websites are...ehh.
:yes:

[/quote]Ok, from my own personal experience, there is a good contrast between the Ni of the INFJ and the Ne of the ENFP. ENFP's are also likely to express their appriciation for the INFJ[/quote]
Yeah, most of the people that say they like the INFJs they know have been ENFPs.[/quote]

[/quote]They are also willing to deal with the ever changing ENFP. From what I can tell. I don't know many INFJ's (unfortunately) so it can be hard to tell. Would an INFJ like to back up my point?[/QUOTE]
I can't say if I've ever met an ENFP in real life yet. But I can vouch for the ones on here. I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt and not jump to conclusions when they do stuff random/out of character.
 

Hoshi

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Sep 4, 2008
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INFJ
INFJ's are plain awsome... simple as that. They are so quiet and are uncomfortable sharing their thoughts with me, but its so fun to tear right through them and try to pick them apart (I am talking about one particular INFJ).

The biggest reply I get when I am probing is stop assuming you know what I think... and I love it because I do know what they think because they think like me....


No other type I know will actually do something to help me behind my back just for my sake and not brag about it or even mention it other than the INFJ. You are kind, smart, and you don't mind discussing theoretical bullshit with me.

You do have a sense of duty that I lack, and I love that you keep to it.

I also love that you are paranoid as hell, you make crackheads look sane with that internal paranoia but you never show it. I also like protecting you because you come off like total people pleasing vaginas and never stand up for yourself.

Now what the EFF do you like about me, I have no EFFing clue.

Wow, just wow.:wubbie:
 

tibby

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Nov 22, 2008
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682
MBTI Type
fool
"I know I can be paranoid, but my ENFP friend's occasional paranoia seriously rivals and sometimes exceeds mine.

When you meet her, at first you think she's a brainless, bubbling butterfly, but then if you talk to her you realize she is brilliant. She is one of those people that have everything: looks, personality, brains. She would be stinking rich if she could focus or had better taste in men. She'll probably end up being rich eventually anyway. Rich or not, she's a generous person, with her affection, her energy, etc.

She and I share a lot of the same values and ways of thinking. She likes to talk and I like to listen. She tries to make herself listen to what's going on in my life, but it never really works. She gets bored and zones. But we can talk back and forth about abstract stuff pretty well. She likes the way I see through people and the weird way I sum things up. Talking to me helps her think clearly. She always has something interesting going on."

Oh my god, it's like you'd be describing my ENFP friend :) She's the most awesome person I know. I don't have ANYTHING more to add to that description - it's just like her.

I do do stuff for her without claiming any recognition etc for it, but it absolutely warms my soul when she keeps reminding me how much she appreciates me, and even says how lucky she's for having me in her life ("You're just the kind of person I need" and all I can say is: You too<3 !). None of my other friends do or say that (tell these things in words), and I think it just shows her deep affection and caring. She knows the importance it has for my own self-esteem in general and belief I'm actually being a good friend.

I love ENFP's, there's just something... about them. Magic :)
 

Lady_X

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aww...one of my best friends is an infj and i love her to pieces..and my mom too!
what a sweet thread :)
 

iwakar

crush the fences
Joined
May 2, 2007
Messages
4,877
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
After consideration of the traits of various types, I've often quietly speculated that ENFPs may be a damn safe bet for INFJs who are uncomfortable with their tertiary Ti or do not tolerate Ti/Te well in a mate.

This would also ring true for younger INFJs who are not as well-rounded as their elder comrades. Although I've been involved with an INFP for many years, I find the older I get the more I appreciate Ti/Te in others and had fate played out differently I might very well be attached to an INTP or INTJ at this juncture of life.
 

lorkan

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Nov 10, 2008
Messages
260
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INFJ
Has any INFJ made an ENFP so mad that they've turned to enemies? I've accidently offendended my former friend so many times (without knowing it), for only expressing opinions (Fe), that he made my world totally spin making almost all of my friends turn my back. This was in high-school though, and there was a social hirarchy that you didnt want to stop fighting against... and he was pretty imature. I would like to believe that If I hook up with an ENFP she would hopefully be able to handle conflict a little better.
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
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Jan 14, 2008
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4w5
Has any INFJ made an ENFP so mad that they've turned to enemies? I've accidently offendended my former friend so many times (without knowing it), for only expressing opinions (Fe), that he made my world totally spin making almost all of my friends turn my back. This was in high-school though, and there was a social hirarchy that you didnt want to stop fighting against... and he was pretty imature. I would like to believe that If I hook up with an ENFP she would hopefully be able to handle conflict a little better.
Hmm, if I deem you as a nasty, hateful, mean-spirited person, a.) this would be the only reason why I would overtly not be nice to you, b.) I would never start a campaign against you, but I also would not hold back my negative opinion of you.

I am not really a shit talker, it's just not my thing, and I am shocked that this ENFP did not confront you about his disdain for you?!?!? :shock:

That is so un-ENFP-like.

Also, social hierarchy, eww, even in elementary school I felt that they were utterly stewpid and potentially detrimental to certain kids. The mere thought of caring about, and or using the social hierarchical system to my advantage is just plain, :sick: worthy.
 
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