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[NF] NFs: are you boring?

meshou

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Apr 23, 2007
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238
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INXP
I'm always amazed at the spectrum of people that like WWF. :shock:
I think it's a good rule of thumb for me in dating: Likes wrestling? Not dating him. Nosir.

I've known NFs who were not boring. Treakly is more my reaction, if I have a negative one. Like WWF and harlequin romance covers and taking JRPG stories very seriously and thinking of the children and responding to a logical argument by saying "But isn't X what really matters?" in that lifetime movie of the week voice.

Oprah-itis. That's the ticket.

Not all are like this by far, but it's a tendancy I've noted. I don't know if I'd call it boring. Mundane, maybe?

Anyway, all types have their own mundane shit. The NT's fascination with obscure systems can often be boring to everyone else in the world ("I'm cataloguing MOSS!!"), SJ's need for routine and order leading to everyone having fun in an orderly, scheduled fashion, and the stereotypical SP hedonist who killed just a few too many braincells.
 

darlets

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I think it's a good rule of thumb for me in dating: Likes wrestling? Not dating him. Nosir.

I've known NFs who were not boring. Treakly is more my reaction, if I have a negative one. Like WWF and harlequin romance covers and taking JRPG stories very seriously and thinking of the children and responding to a logical argument by saying "But isn't X what really matters?" in that lifetime movie of the week voice.

Oprah-itis. That's the ticket.

Not all are like this by far, but it's a tendancy I've noted. I don't know if I'd call it boring. Mundane, maybe?
Did you just compare NF's to WWF??? Please tell me you did cause that would be amusing.
 

meshou

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Did you just compare NF's to WWF??? Please tell me you did cause that would be amusing.
Mm hm. The boring ones, absolutely. A disproportionate number of the NFs who I've known (and who were boring) LOOOOOVED it. Loved it. Also, airbrushed wolf shirts.
 

Cerpin_Taxt

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May 8, 2007
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I think I'm pretty guarded which turns out to be boring at times. I've made the occasional off-color (for me) joke and surprised a lot of people who thought I had no edge at all.

That sounds awfully familiar. Even what i would deem my closest friends seem to forget how dark my sense of humor actually is.
 

Maverick

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Why do I get the feeling that this is a sideways ad hominem attack? Of what legitimate value is attacking a Type in the supposed serious discussion of MBTI? Wouldn't it be of more appropriate to say that ANY type can be boring depending upon their individual personality? Isn't it equally valid to say that what one person may find boring, might be exciting to another, and vice-versa. Maybe that's the way they are; There is nothing wrong with that. It's not a valid reason to attack and invalidate that person as a human being.

Why is the fact that NFs may never do anything that rocks the boat or may never take a controversial position to avoid offending others boring? Maybe, from their perspective, it just is simply a case of they don't have time for that kind of excitement as they have things to do that are more important and by extension more exciting to them. Perhaps it needs to be considered that while their actions may be perceived by non-NFs as boring, NF themselves are not boring. Then again, maybe the shoe needs to be put on the other foot; Maybe NFs find non-NFs boring?

I would agree with this.

Every temparement has it's definition of interesting and boring. It's all relative. NF's might just aswell see NT's as boring because they're emotionally constricted, talking about topics that may not be valuable, insisting on being rational instead of letting go to their feelings, etc.

I think the point that NF's can't hold controversial stances is false. In fact, NF's can often be seen fighting for what they believe in to try to improve the world around them. NF's will hold controversial stances on those topics they believe are worthwile and valuable.

I think we have to be careful when we feel an urge to condemn a type or temparement by making unfair generalizations. Often, our criticism tells us alot more about our own shortcomings than about the other type or temperament.
 

JivinJeffJones

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I find myself pretty bloody boring, but that's probably just due to overexposure. Everywhere I go, there I am. I just can't get away from me. The people I find interesting are the people who are willing to have or show unusual thoughts. Crackpots and heretics. I hate it when people continually give you either balanced perspectives or balancing perspectives. Forget the balance. If I give an unbalanced perspective then push me further. Don't correct me. Don't show me the bigger picture. You don't get epiphanies by considering all sides of the argument. Which is why I find NTs interesting to talk to. Driven by logic they have fewer factors to consider in forming opinions. Thus they are more often to get it spectacularly wrong. I guess there's an element of schadenfreude there, but it isn't just that. Exposure to new thoughts is gold for an introvert. It means exposure to new stimuli and makes your world a bigger place. I've rarely gotten that from someone presenting a balanced perspective. A balanced, tested perspective is essentially a regurgitated meal. I find that Ti and Fi tends to satisfy me personally in supplying what I crave from other people.
 

Lookin4theBestNU

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Why do I get the feeling that this is a sideways ad hominem attack?
I really didn't take this thread as an "attack" more like reaction-seeking for entertainment purposes:popc1:. I thought it was pretty damn obvious, not sideways, so I didn't feel the need to give a serious response. I don't mind taking the bait today :).
Every temparement has it's definition of interesting and boring. It's all relative. NF's might just aswell see NT's as boring because they're emotionally constricted, talking about topics that may not be valuable, insisting on being rational instead of letting go to their feelings, etc.

I think the point that NF's can't hold controversial stances is false. In fact, NF's can often be seen fighting for what they believe in to try to improve the world around them. NF's will hold controversial stances on those topics they believe are worthwile and valuable.
I personally find NTs can at times be excruciatingly boring. Predictability plays a large factor in this for me regarding any type actually. I can generally predict when an NT is going to over-analyze to the point of making my eyes glaze over :). Do I consider myself predictable? Yes I probably am in certain areas though I have been known to even surprise myself. I think it's funny that some seem convinced that NFs CAN'T get up enough gumption to piss people off or be controversial. I have watched other NFs around the forums though and understand how this can be concluded. It is of course an over-generalization but sometimes these statements make the best threads!!
 

Siúil a Rúin

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So how does the NF communicate about things that are exciting to them? Do they withhold them, or are others unable to appreciate them?
Why wouldn't NFs communicate what is exciting to them? If they don't do it with the general public, why wouldn't they become writers or musicians or artists? Isn't it the individual who feels great passion and reflects on it in the abstract the most likely to be driven to create? But many people find the arts boring. I am honestly confused by this whole subject because there are so many opinions out there about what is boring. If we are basing it on the high school value system of partying and such that's one thing, but what is the relevant demographic here?

As far as answering it personally, I am absolutely boring to some, absolutely inspiring to others, and somewhere inbetween to most. The question as it is posed, I can't answer. It's like asking, 'is the sky boring?' or 'are frogs boring?' or 'are muppets boring?'.
 

Haight

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Apr 18, 2007
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As some may know . . . to me, boring equals predictable when applied to people. Therefore, someone would have to be very predictable for me to describe that person as "boring." And even though that reality happens for me all the time, the people that fall into that category range across all types and all personalities. I don't discriminate . . . it just happens.

With that said, I'm certain that I would never view an entire group of people as boring. I know this because group dynamics are a great interest to me. And beyond that, if I was fortunate enough to be able to analyze a group of ESFPs isolated in a room, for example, the variation between them would be vast and interesting in itself.

I will concede, however, that there are numerous personality traits that annoy me. But I can find several of those within all sixteen types . . . . even my own. :alttongue:
 

Totenkindly

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I am similar to Haight with this, in that "boring" = "predictable." The people who make me laugh the most are the ones who surprise me.

Also, I get a real thrill when I see someone acting most like "themselves" -- when someone does something that seems more "them" or indicative of their personality or character. (The notion of being "true to oneself"?) I guess another way to say it is authenticity: When someone is authentic, I don't find them boring at all.

In any case, I really cannot categorize a whole group of people as boring. Each individual is different, regardless of general type, and I take each one on his or her own terms.
 

targobelle

~*taaa raaa raaa boom*~
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A little late to the party... that is typical of me. Yet since I am an NF I thought I would add a little to the discussion.

I do tend to fall into a predictable rut of routine and repetition. Yet to know me is to learn that there is nothing ordinary or boring about me. I am one who doesn't just fork over that knowledge either, you gotta earn it, you gotta work for it you gotta show me that you're interested and then and only then will you see it. Or you just have to ply me with some alcohol and I become the life of every party and am talked about for years afterwards ;)
 

cafe

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To go back to the idea that NFs avoid conflict . . . Yes, we often do whenever we can. We value harmony and peace, but there are times when, because what we value is at stake, we are more than capable of fighting and fighting hard knowing full well that we will lose, but not being able to stop because it has to be fought.

As far as being boring on INTPc . . . an NF has to watch carefully what s/he says there. They have to always be conscious of being accused of being too emotional or having what they say dismissed for no other reason than two letters in their profile. If NFs are boring there, they have a good excuse for being so.
 

PuddleRiver

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I find myself pretty bloody boring, but that's probably just due to overexposure. Everywhere I go, there I am. I just can't get away from me. The people I find interesting are the people who are willing to have or show unusual thoughts. Crackpots and heretics. I hate it when people continually give you either balanced perspectives or balancing perspectives. Forget the balance. If I give an unbalanced perspective then push me further. Don't correct me. Don't show me the bigger picture. You don't get epiphanies by considering all sides of the argument. Which is why I find NTs interesting to talk to. Driven by logic they have fewer factors to consider in forming opinions. Thus they are more often to get it spectacularly wrong. I guess there's an element of schadenfreude there, but it isn't just that. Exposure to new thoughts is gold for an introvert. It means exposure to new stimuli and makes your world a bigger place. I've rarely gotten that from someone presenting a balanced perspective. A balanced, tested perspective is essentially a regurgitated meal. I find that Ti and Fi tends to satisfy me personally in supplying what I crave from other people.

:party2: I love this post.
 

indigo2020

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May 16, 2007
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Hey, I did say to be fair that every ENFP and ENFJ I've known was great fun. It's just that some INF's I've known have been that way, the whole "if you haven't anything nice to say then don't say anything" vibe... gets annoying when you actually want to get to know someone - all of them, including their negative side. Or just to be able to judge for yourself what parts of them you consider negative - but they'll only share their fluffy side.

Like I said 'over there', it's not so much that I think the INFJ that I mentioned is actually boring - she has a personality alright, and she's intelligent - but God knows what it takes for her to actually feel like showing it!!
I gotta say, this is quite a prejudice. You are saying all INF's are boring because of 1 INFJ you know? That is ridiculous. Maybe there are people that think you are boring, or arrogant, or whatever. I certainly do not just say "something nice" or nothing at all. Trust me. I may not be as vocal as others but I do tell my friends the truth. I am quite intelligent and I am certainly not boring.

How many INF's do you know besides this one woman INFJ? And if she is soooo boring, why are you "friends" with her? Give me a break. I would not be "friends" with someone I found as boring as you consider her to be.
 

Cerpin_Taxt

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I gotta say, this is quite a prejudice. You are saying all INF's are boring because of 1 INFJ you know? That is ridiculous. Maybe there are people that think you are boring, or arrogant, or whatever. I certainly do not just say "something nice" or nothing at all. Trust me. I may not be as vocal as others but I do tell my friends the truth. I am quite intelligent and I am certainly not boring.

How many INF's do you know besides this one woman INFJ? And if she is soooo boring, why are you "friends" with her? Give me a break. I would not be "friends" with someone I found as boring as you consider her to be.

To be honest if you read the post he didn't actually call her boring, just passive.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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To go back to the idea that NFs avoid conflict . . . Yes, we often do whenever we can. We value harmony and peace, but there are times when, because what we value is at stake, we are more than capable of fighting and fighting hard knowing full well that we will lose, but not being able to stop because it has to be fought.
Well said. I will add that the people who just enjoy stirring up trouble can come in all flavors. Personally, I find most trouble makers predictable and annoying, possibly even boring. If that is the primary factor that makes life interesting for a person, that's one pathetic person imo. Who says that NFs always avoid conflict? I do choose my battles, but the battles I choose to fight, I win. I'm not sure I would fight to lose. There might be a circumstance, but I do try to adapt to get results.

As far as being boring on INTPc . . . an NF has to watch carefully what s/he says there. They have to always be conscious of being accused of being too emotional or having what they say dismissed for no other reason than two letters in their profile. If NFs are boring there, they have a good excuse for being so.
There is a problem of constant misinterpretation from some people there. It can feel like walking through a muddy field in goulashes.

I don't know about the thread there and don't care to read it, but people who spend their time putting everyone down who isn't like them are pretty narrow-minded, rigid, and petrified. Saying NF's are boring and meaning it is completely childish, whiny, and pretty dumb.
 

substitute

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I don't know about the thread there and don't care to read it, but people who spend their time putting everyone down who isn't like them are pretty narrow-minded, rigid, and petrified. Saying NF's are boring and meaning it is completely childish, whiny, and pretty dumb.

If you ask me, I think this is the root of the problem: that NF's personalise everything. What you see as someone childishly putting people down is usually, from their point of view, nothing of the sort. They're just voicing their objections to what they perceive as a falsehood or error (the WORDS or IDEA, not the PERSON), or making and speculating over observations. You imply judgement and personal intent where none exists, and I think that's what the NT's over there get fed up with - constantly being called 'mean' and 'childish' and attributed with motives that couldn't be farther from their minds, like NF's can't just listen to the words that are being said and understand the ideas and talk to the ideas, but instead have to always keep looking for and inventing motives for them that don't exist.

This is a prime example - the NT is trying to express himself, to present an observation (simultaneously acknowledging that the observation might be in error and is by no means comprehensive) and reach some kind of understanding about the matter, trying to say that he feels frustrated by NF's he knows that are interesting people, not sharing their interesting side with him when he's interested in them and values their opinions but only seems to be able to get neutral, 'boring' conversation out of them, but all the NF does is take it as a personal criticism and rather than explain why they do that, or acknowledge the value that's being placed in them or notice the NT wanting to connect with them, or explain how the NT could alter the way he speaks in a way that would encourage them to open up more, they just start saying he's 'being mean' and accusing anyone who just isn't afraid to voice their opinions in the face of possible conflict, of being a childish, trouble stirring attention seeker.

NT's usually go to great lengths to express themselves as clearly as possible, to dot every i and cross every t, and say exactly what they mean. But it seems to me that all the care and effort I put into choosing my words is pointless because the NF doesn't listen to them and instead focuses on trying to imagine WHY I'm saying them - rather than asking me why I'm saying them so that I can speak for myself.

And if that isn't invalidating, I don't know what is!!
 

nottaprettygal

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NT's usually go to great lengths to express themselves as clearly as possible, to dot every i and cross every t, and say exactly what they mean. But it seems to me that all the care and effort I put into choosing my words is pointless because the NF doesn't listen to them and instead focuses on trying to imagine WHY I'm saying them

I can't agree with you here. Often NTs keep their true motives and intentions hidden and never say exactly what they mean. Asking "why" and questioning the motives behind a statement is in no way exclusive to NFs. I practically do that with every statement that I hear/read. I've never found NTs to be the type to state things in an obvious manner.

And as far crossing i's and dotting t's is concerned, that may be true in the real world, but on certain internet forums NTs can make idiotic, lazy assertions and expect those statements to be treated like gold simply because of their type.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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This is a prime example - the NT is trying to express himself, to present an observation (simultaneously acknowledging that the observation might be in error and is by no means comprehensive) and reach some kind of understanding about the matter, trying to say that he feels frustrated by NF's he knows that are interesting people, not sharing their interesting side with him when he's interested in them and values their opinions but only seems to be able to get neutral, 'boring' conversation out of them, but all the NF does is take it as a personal criticism and rather than explain why they do that, or acknowledge the value that's being placed in them or notice the NT wanting to connect with them, or explain how the NT could alter the way he speaks in a way that would encourage them to open up more, they just start saying he's 'being mean' and accusing anyone who just isn't afraid to voice their opinions in the face of possible conflict, of being a childish, trouble stirring attention seeker.
Then this is an example where I should have gone to read the thread. I made the false assumption that it was basically a rant, which are commonplace on the internet. The question as it is posed: "Are NF's boring?" does not imply anything like what you just described. The title words should be chosen with more care to communicate their true meaning. Something like: "Do NF's hide what is most interesting about them?" Or something better articulated than that. The question as it is put is reasonably interpreted as a rant w/o much thought put into it because it uses a sweeping generalization expressed in derogatory wording. Seriously, you don't see that?

I was matching derogatory wording with derogatory wording. Also when I say something like... but people who spend their time putting everyone down who isn't like them are pretty narrow-minded, rigid, and petrified. Saying NF's are boring and meaning it is completely childish, whiny, and pretty dumb. it is intended as an 'if the shoe fits' type of comment. It was not as conclusive as you assumed. That's why I included a disclaimer of having not read it. I didn't read the thread BUT if it meant what it sounds like then... - Not a conclusion, but an observation that may or may not apply. Although, I do think that assuming an enormous category of people are boring is childish, etc. Does that make sense?

(this is also an example of an NF having to explain why it isn't emotional in the way someone has assumed.)
 

substitute

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I can't agree with you here. Often NTs keep their true motives and intentions hidden and never say exactly what they mean. Asking "why" and questioning the motives behind a statement is in no way exclusive to NFs. I practically do that with every statement that I hear/read. I've never found NTs to be the type to state things in an obvious manner.

And as far crossing i's and dotting t's is concerned, that may be true in the real world, but on certain internet forums NTs can make idiotic, lazy assertions and expect those statements to be treated like gold simply because of their type.

Well yeah maybe, but I know I'm innocent of that!! At least, of that intent. I might sometimes be a bit sloppy, but if I'm called up on it, I don't expect the other person to treat my sloppy statement and lazy thinking 'like gold', and I'm happy if they point out an over-generalisation (like you just did, heh, thanks!).

I know some NT's are like that more often than not, but also some NF's are paranoid bunny boilers, but it wouldn't be fair for me to assume they all are, or to attribute motives to them as though they were before I had any real proof, so I'm saying it's not fair for NF's to always assume that anyone showing NT traits automatically therefore has all the possible negative trademarks and is showing them right now, when they've no proof.
 
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