i think it just depends on how the rest of your life is balancing out. what needs are being satisfied, what you need developmentally, where your ideals are at any given moment.
ie i used to think it would be impossible for me to date any girl who wasn't an artist. now i realize there are other ways to inspire myself, instill creativity into every aspect of my life including my relationship, and meet and connect with other people with whom i can foster a creative partnership with outside of s.o. territory.
i think this is similar. some people want intrigue, they want it to dominate their attention, to consume them with mystery, unknown, exploration, adventure. it's fun for what it is. others want to be recognized, appreciated, and loved in a myriad of ways. fitting them together is where things get speechlessly confusing.
I understand the fascination or attraction to mystery. I'm an INFJ after all. But I suppose I've come to accept that mystery, along with physical beauty for example, are temporary, so I don't allow them to be my focal point. Qualities though, like humour, gentleness, kindness, loyalty etc. are all long lasting (or at least capable of being so). I suppose, I pity (for lack of a better word) those who value such a temporal thing, because that particular need cannot always be met. I don't mean to come off as degrading or condescending... I really can't think of a better word
Ah - I see... I think from my point of view too I need a relationship to stimulate (I'm currently with an ISTP who is constantly changing) and if I were "too similar" I would think "where's the puzzle? Where's the fun?"
How long have you been with this ISTP? I can't imagine he will "change" for long, if you know what I mean. Eventually you'll pick up on a pattern. Or no?
Or maybe I've just having a tough time understanding because I have never met anyone who has surprised me, or has been difficult to figure out. I notice patterns in everyone. After a short time, everyone is pretty much predictable, in my experience.
*sigh* I don't think I'm properly understanding any of you three.