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[NF] Is wanting to be a father an NF guy thing?

Is wanting to be a father from a fairly early age an NF guy thing?


  • Total voters
    13

Avocado

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Every since my father died when I was four, I've wanted to be a father. My want to do so only increased when I had several rather abusive step-fathers. I want to be an ideal father, raising children that had the closest thing to an ideal childhood as I can possibly provide. I've already decided I want no less than two children, preferably three children, and I want them to be all less than two years apart in age. I will center all of my decisions around making this a reality.

I'm wondering, though, is it only idealist males that desire children from an early age?

I think it will be interesting to hear some responses...


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Qlip

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I think it would be especially if you were an NF and grew up in a happy family with brothers or sisters. As for myself, I do have kids, but I never had the desire to have kids It became a different story once they were born and I held them, though. :)
 

Avocado

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I think it would be especially if you were an NF and grew up in a happy family with brothers or sisters. As for myself, I do have kids, but I never had the desire to have kids It became a different story once they were born and I held them, though. :)

I had no brothers or sisters, I was deprived of having a father...
 

Il Morto Che Parla

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I would like to be a father one day, but I do not right now think about it much.

I voted yes, it sounds Fe-dom.
 

Qlip

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I had no brothers or sisters, I was deprived of having a father...

Ah, I guess that makes a certain type of sense. I did/do, my home family life was a bit of a mess. I guess seeing that really gave me no desire to recreate it. I have 1 sister and 3 brothers. I'm the only one of all of us who procreated.
 

Typh0n

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This currently a delicate issue for me to talk about publically, for personal reaons Id rather not get into, but no, I dont think its particularly NF-related.
 

Avocado

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This currently a delicate issue for me to talk about publically, for personal reaons Id rather not get into, but no, I dont think its particularly NF-related.
I understand...
Thank you for your time!
 

Typh0n

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I understand...
Thank you for your time!

Honestly, it didnt cost me much to say that,lol. I can PM you as to why this delicate for me, if you want me to. Now its midnight here and Im gonna turn off my computer but Ill check back tomorrow and PM you then.:)
 

Avocado

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Honestly, it didnt cost me much to say that,lol. I can PM you as to why this delicate for me, if you want me to. Now its midnight here and Im gonna turn off my computer but Ill check back tomorrow and PM you then.:)

OK
 

autumnandtherain

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Yes. But I don't think it's solely NF. My ISFJ father originally wanted to have 6 kids when he and my INTP mother got married. I think there are certain types that tend to be more nurturing than others, but not just NFs. :)
 

HongDou

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I don't think it's type-related really. It just depends on what you want out of life. My INTJ friend talks to me all the time about wanting kids.
 

Avocado

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I don't think it's type-related really. It just depends on what you want out of life. My INTJ friend talks to me all the time about wanting kids.

Alright, I understand.
 
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I think it would be especially if you were an NF and grew up in a happy family with brothers or sisters. As for myself, I do have kids, but I never had the desire to have kids It became a different story once they were born and I held them, though. :)

Vonnegut ahoy!

Uhhhh.... Thread seems like stereotype question.
 
W

WALMART

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^ ur so cool starch

i don't think it's an NF thing, and i don't think NF's are inherently any better at nurturing or something.

my dad is probably istp also (maybe intp) and has been the most loving father i've perceived out of my entire ring of friends. he's a real go-to guy for just about anything to everyone he knows.
 

cafe

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I'm not a guy but when I was around 18 I decided that there wasn't much I could do about my childhood, but I could try to make sure that things were different for my kids. That felt like the only thing I could change or that I had control over. After I got married, I had an irrational fear of my husband suddenly dying like my step-father did and I think that was an unconscious reason I wanted to have a child as soon as I did. I didn't want to be left with nothing of him if he was taken from me.

Looking back, I don't think those things were particularly mature or healthy reasons for having kids, but there really aren't many rational reasons for having kids in a modern non-agricultural society, so it's not a huge deal, IMO. I've mostly made different mistakes that those of my family, but I've made plenty. I like to think my kids have a better chance than I did and I have to admit that I've enjoyed giving them what I felt like I most missed: a loving father. I was not able to give them something wonderful that I did have, though: loving an involved grandparents. You win some, you lose some.

FWIW, my INTP partner is at least as nurturing as I am, which would not be a hard thing to do and he did not initially want kids, but he warmed up to the idea pretty fast once we started having them.

Edit: My brother settled down young and had a kid right away and I think he's an SJ. My youngest brother thinks he wants to settle down young, but he doesn't much act like he does, unless spending most of your free-time playing League of Legends is the way to go about that now.
 

Betty Blue

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Wanting to be a father is not particularly type related, the reasons for wanting it may be more so though. My brother is ENFP and he always looked forward to being a father though he did not rush it, we always talked about what our children would be like and what they would do/who they would be when they grew up. He has this adorable gentle giant approach, he is both incredibly understanding and loving as a father, he really enjoys the connection he has with his son, he also enjoyed being an uncle before his son was born and it has been a wonderful experience to see him nurture his relationships with niece, nephew and son.

There will be grandchildren one day too... wow.
 
V

violaine

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My INTJ always wanted to be a father. Just wasn't something he talked openly about with many people. He is an amazing father to our twin baby girls.
 
S

Society

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my dad is probably istp also (maybe intp) and has been the most loving father i've perceived out of my entire ring of friends. he's a real go-to guy for just about anything to everyone he knows.

my INTJ father was an awesome father and a loving one at that, but the question wasn't which types make the best dads... the question was which types are more likely to actively wish to become fathers.

for contrast: beyond the occasional fleeting thought, i didn't really think much of it before i became one, and that changed everything i've being doing with my life considerably. my father had his whole military career planned out and had to say no to promotion and sign off his retirement when he found out my mother was pregnant (with me)...

a huge number of fathers rise to the occasion once it happens (and sadly a lot of men do not), but that's not the same as having fatherhood as a life goal or gearing your life towards becoming a father. i believe the OP is asking about the later.
 

Avocado

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my INTJ father was an awesome father and a loving one at that, but the question wasn't which types make the best dads... the question was which types are more likely to actively wish to become fathers.

for contrast: beyond the occasional fleeting thought, i didn't really think much of it before i became one, and that changed everything i've being doing with my life considerably. my father had his whole military career planned out and had to say no to promotion and sign off his retirement when he found out my mother was pregnant (with me)...

a huge number of fathers rise to the occasion once it happens (and sadly a lot of men do not), but that's not the same as having fatherhood as a life goal or gearing your life towards becoming a father. i believe the OP is asking about the later.

Indeed, Fatherhood is one of my life goals.

I could roughly simplify my goals to this:
1) Become a father, and be the best I can possibly be.
2) Become a notable writer and artist, who will be worthy of study for the next few centuries.
3) Find inner peace.
4) Improve the world in some way.
5) Find the ideal job.
 

skylights

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My ISFJ wants kids - two kids - he voiced that early in our relationship when we were talking about our childhoods and what kind of families we'd like to create in the future. I think it's been a longstanding ideal of his.

I would imagine it is a common desire among both NF and SFJ men.
 
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