[INFP] How do I get back my conscience?

[momoness]

I'm an INFP who's been through tough times at a hostile working environment. While I was there, I witnessed verbal and emotional abuse on a constant basis, and I guess that part of me who had a deep conscience before, died. I used to feed stray cats, give food to the homeless, hated to see women suffer physical abuse, but now I'm numb. I also no longer have a lot of compassion for animals and other people. I'm against murder, but if threatened enough, I would most likely slash someone without a thought. Recently, I discovered Wicca and now am tempted to put spells on people, even though I know it's wrong.

I would like to get back my ethical framework again. I want my deep sensitivity again as opposed to joining the cruel majority. Help!

 

[Lark]

Read Erich Fromm. Begin with Revolution of Hope or Heart of Man.

 

[Lark]

Read Erich Fromm. Begin with Revolution of Hope or Heart of Man.

Read Anatomy of Human Destructiveness too. Should've mentioned that.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

I'd help but I'm afraid I turned to the dark side a while ago.

 

[prplchknz]

i dunno if it's a bad thing i use to be all lets help everyone!! now i see a dead bird and i'm like meh, *get broom and trashbag and clean it up without giving a fuck* I don't feel emotions a lot, but when i do its very intense and for short amount of time, than i go back to feeling nothing. and it has to be something like my grandpa died.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

i didn't even cry when my grandfather passed away. of course he was kind of a bastard to his family and once cursed my wife out over the phone, so that could be part of it.

 

[OrangeAppled]

Try finding a way to give to other people, even if right now you don't feel moved to; going through motions CAN sometimes inspire feeling, rather than just vice versa. Volunteer work might be a good option. Do something where you witness others being kind & selfless towards each other - this will help restore your "faith in humanity", especially your own humanity. Meditate on these things - kindness, selflessness, morality, etc. Think about things past, present & future which prove these things are real forces. Try combining some physical activity with this (not necessarily at the same time, but that's an option too), especially if you have anger.

Allow yourself to feel pain & anger. Sometimes numbness is a way of coping with stuff that is so overwhelming you do not allow yourself to process it for fear it may destroy you. But this, in effect, DOES destroy you, because it makes you numb to your own feeling & experience. Meditate on how harmful all those things were & what they violated until you can break through emotionally & perhaps cry or have a response which reinforces the negative value behind these things. It may help to write & clarify your inner experience in relation to what happened, how you got from one point to the other; because then some key things can be identified as a root, and those are the aspects you need to allow yourself to feel again so as to process them emotionally.

Hope some of that helps.