I realized I was an INFJ half a year ago when I was first typed. To be honest it was a spellbinding discovery for me because the descriptions explained why I was alienated by my peers during childhood.
I’m not sure what Ni means exactly but I feel that it’s our inner understanding of the world and insights in the development of all things. Since I have an overactive imagination and an instinctive passion towards all things abstract (like philosophy and psychology), not to mention that I‘m more inclined to follow my heart than my head, I can relate to Ni. There was this time when I had a strong feeling about something and none of my friends believed me because I had no evidence, but then it turned out I was right all along, and I was like AH-HA! I also like to psychoanalyze myself and other for fun, since it’s always fascinating to delve into the world of human behaviors and motives, along with people’s past experiences and how they shape the person’s attitude towards life.
Fe is somewhat relatable to me because in middle school I was constantly affected by the emotional charge around me, especially the negative ones, as if I were an emotion-absorbing sponge. My friends see me as someone with high emotional intelligence because I can empathize with their struggles, but actually back in middle school I never used my emotional intelligence much because I tried to anchor myself in the direction of an INTJ. Now that I acknowledge my true self, I realize that I’ve been giving my friends “free therapy” from time to time—listening to their problems in general and providing emotional support, before helping them analyze the problem from an objective view. To facilitate understanding towards someone’s pain I don’t have to imagine myself in their shoes, because the melancholy hits me like a wave and before I know it, I’m absorbed into it. I sense when someone’s feeling down and I give them a hug and ask them what’s wrong. Just like that. Sometimes, to help my friends address their problems, I refer to my own experiences. The only downside of my Fe is that sometimes I get too caught up in other people’s problem to concentrate on my day-to-day tasks, and other times I attract toxic/dependent people who need a venting space for the negative feelings that they are unable to process themselves. In this case I pull an “INFJ doorslam” on them, which I usually don’t do for the sake of not hurting feelings, unless the recipient breaks my trust or uses me for an ulterior motive.
The thing that separates me from most INFJs is that my Fi is strong as well, a reason why I was typed as an enneagram 4w5, thus I can be self-absorbed at times. A fun fact is that INFJ Type 4s‘ behavior is similar to that of an INFP, so sometimes I was typed as that. But I don’t really think I’m a Prospecting type because I love to make plans and I’m not really spontaneous. And unlike INFPs I can be both analytical (explaining for my wing 5) and emotional. On a side note, as a Type 4, my sense of identity can be so strong that I pride in being ”rare” or “unique”, sometimes appearing condescending towards the ordinary. I guess this explains why I was so happy to see my MBTI being so rare. I’ve always wanted to distinguish myself from those around me, which is why instead of looking for similarities in connections, I look for differences, which drives away some friends. I establish myself through placing an emphasis on my “weirdness” which some people find hard to understand. To be honest, there are times when even I can’t read into myself, which is where the Type Indicator comes into play.
Overall, I believe that people are too complicated to be defined with a specific personality type, which is why I combine multiple personality tests. They help us dive into our hearts and understand the people around us. MBTI should not be what drives 16 types of people apart. Instead it should be about promoting better connection and collaboration.
