[MBTI General] Finding true meaning…

[Avocado]

Change is good, maybe you need some of it. If you've already bottomed out, then it can only get better from here.

My bro is 6w7. We both grew up in kind of a bad house, but i left when i turned 18 whereas he stayed home even though he is older than me. He's just a genuinely nice guy, but doesn't look out for himself though I wish he did. You'll find your own way, just trust yourself.

Sounds good…

 

[Mitsuko Souma]

If you read any of this, please post. Even if something is short…I'd like to read it…

I've been struggling with feelings of meaninglessness. Nothing is interesting to me anymore. I used to love traveling and trying new things, but even that just seems useless to me anymore. Nothing makes me feel good. It seems like I'm not going anywhere in life. I feel useless. I feel tired and listless.

By and large, I feel physically and emotionally drained. The only part of me that seems to keep running like the energizer bunny on a hamster wheel is my mind. My mind is on the other end of the spectrum…racing…

Or at least it was until recently…

Even that seems to be slowing down…




I just want to know if any if you have gone through this…




I need to find something to be inspired by…




Sincerely,
Magic Qwan of the 7w6 ENFP so-called funhouse…









PS: I sometimes do feel some slight feeling of happiness if I'm helpful or creating something, but it is a temporary fix…

Hmm yes, I have. Do you feel such? I only feel right giving advice if you need it still.

 

[Avocado]

Hmm yes, I have. Do you feel such? I only feel right giving advice if you need it still.

I bottomed out, and I am starting to get a little better, but I am still having very similar issues.

 

[Mitsuko Souma]

[MENTION=18694]Magic Qwan[/MENTION] I have a few things to say then:
1. Learn to accept yourself: No matter what changes life throws at you, still have the confidence in you to adapt. You probably don't like change because you don't believe you can handle change and that USUALLY (not always) but usually is because you don't love or believe in yourself to change with it.

2. Know what you want in life: Have some sort of goal to strive for and plan things out more. Changes are bound to happen and when they do and you get bored/depressed then you must have something else to go for at the very least have something else to strive for. What makes you happy? Answer that and go for it in life.

3. (Last and probably most important one) GIVE YOURSELF TIME!!!!: You're young (17) and that isn't enough life experience to know what you want yet really (goes with point 2). Enjoy your youth and freedom while also scanning the world in what you want from it. Even if you know what you want it may take time to get there and life obstacles get in your way but they tend to not be your fault. Because they are not your fault; don't treat it as such because that is pointless. Keep growing, keep confident, and to do that you must give it time for you to grow.

I'm done now... rest is up to you. Good luck.

 

[Avocado]

[MENTION=18694]Magic Qwan[/MENTION] I have a few things to say then:
1. Learn to accept yourself: No matter what changes life throws at you, still have the confidence in you to adapt. You probably don't like change because you don't believe you can handle change and that USUALLY (not always) but usually is because you don't love or believe in yourself to change with it.

2. Know what you want in life: Have some sort of goal to strive for and plan things out more. Changes are bound to happen and when they do and you get bored/depressed then you must have something else to go for at the very least have something else to strive for. What makes you happy? Answer that and go for it in life.

3. (Last and probably most important one) GIVE YOURSELF TIME!!!!: You're young (17) and that isn't enough life experience to know what you want yet really (goes with point 2). Enjoy your youth and freedom while also scanning the world in what you want from it. Even if you know what you want it may take time to get there and life obstacles get in your way but they tend to not be your fault. Because they are not your fault; don't treat it as such because that is pointless. Keep growing, keep confident, and to do that you must give it time for you to grow.

I'm done now... rest is up to you. Good luck.

OK...
I will introspect more...

I would really like to be a father someday...

 

[Mitsuko Souma]

OK...
I will introspect more...

I would really like to be a father someday...

I noticed that in another of your threads. Learn to love yourself (point 1 I made) first. If you can't love yourself then how can you be serious to love another? Think it out; be it wise to have a child with a woman you love and to do that she needs to know your convictions to be a provider and protector of yourself, her, and your child thus it is necessary for you to do this in my opinion. Good luck again.

 

[Avocado]

I noticed that in another of your threads. Learn to love yourself (point 1 I made) first. If you can't love yourself then how can you be serious to love another? Think it out; be it wise to have a child with a woman you love and to do that she needs to know your convictions to be a provider and protector of yourself, her, and your child thus it is necessary for you to do this in my opinion. Good luck again.

Thank you!
*bows*

 

[Honor]

I think I mentioned this - I was really down for a while after graduating college. I drowned in guilt and shame, grew numb, stopped caring, and eventually realized that since I was unwilling to consider offing myself, I might as well do something useful for someone else.

I decided that I'd try to please my parents, so I threw myself into job applications, got a part-time position, started making an effort because I had an obligation... and then I met a guy and we started dating and spent months in giddy infatuation... then I was promoted to full-time... then I got into a conflict with a pig-headed manager and worked my tail off to prove myself against her... she eventually got demoted... then I was promoted to assistant manager... then I moved into my own place... and recently I've decided my future career path, dropped to part-time, and gone back to school. I'm not back to 100% yet, but maybe 75%, maybe more. I've had a really good last two days and I'm getting there. Now I'm spending my energy on my relationship, my family, school, work, and trying to balance all of that. It's not always amazing of course but it feels meaningful because those are all things I really value. I feel like I'm back "in" the world instead of staring at it from outside.

Each time I stopped focusing as much on myself, it got easier. I don't mean this in terms of taking care of myself, but in terms of choosing an external goal and focusing on that. I feel like there's a really careful balance that has to be struck between taking care of yourself and prioritizing yourself, and getting sucked into the depressive world of nothing mattering but yourself. It's a really bizarre form of self-centeredness, one that simultaneously focuses on the self and puts down the self. And as a result, I think one potential antidote is to stop focusing on the self and to just go out in the world and do. To sort of, strangely, tell yourself that you're not going to listen to your negative judgments about yourself or your life for right now. Have you heard of vicious and virtuous cycles? The vicious depression cycle would be you judging that your life is meaningless, so you're more inclined to look for ways your life lacks meaning (thanks to confirmation bias), so you're more inclined to judge that your life is meaningless. Whereas the opposite virtuous cycle would be to judge that your life has meaning, so you're more inclined to look for ways your life has meaning, so you're more inclined to judge that your life has meaning. You just have to reverse the flow.

I didn't understand it then, but my parents told me that it was better to just go do something and not worry about whether it was an appealing thing or not. I remember this one day when I was still a part-timer and before I met my boyfriend when I was tying some bags or some really menial task and all of a sudden I realized that I was, completely inexplicably, content and joyful at that moment. I shouldn't have even liked the task if I wasn't depressey, but there the joy was. My dad's a psychiatrist and he's told me that they encourage people who are depressed to just keep doing the things they like, even if it doesn't seem enjoyable, because often what they find is that after doing it a number of times, the joy, inexplicably, starts to return. At least for me, I think a big part of it was getting out of my own head and not letting myself be so impacted by my negative opinion of my life.

I dunno, [MENTION=18694]Magic Qwan[/MENTION], if any of that's helpful, but that's been my personal experience with having felt numb and useless and that my life was meaningless, and having been lucky enough to have parents and peers who guided me back on a path of caring and color and feeling meaning in my life again. I know that it's possible and I hope you just keep trying!

This was a really great post, skylights. What is it about that phase right after graduating from college that makes it so difficult? I had an awful time. It was like all the identity capital that I had spent my entire life building up was suddenly and inexplicably gone. Since I had turned five and started school, I always had friends to see everyday and plenty of people who were involved in my life. Then, suddenly after graduating, I was by myself not just in assuming more responsibility but literally by myself in a brand new city where I didn't know anyone and no one cared. No sports teams to bring my neighbors and myself together. No common classes or professors or campus to bond over. All of the relationships that I had invested so much in were now long-distance and there weren't easy ways of forming new relationships. It made me look back over my college experience (and up until then, I only had positive memories of it) and doubt whether I had done it all "wrong." Ugh. It was just such a crappy experience. Mine was also intensely magnified by the realization that I had not chosen the right field, and it wasn't easy to maneuver myself out.

 

[Avocado]

This was a really great post, skylights. What is it about that phase right after graduating from college that makes it so difficult? I had an awful time. It was like all the identity capital that I had spent my entire life building up was suddenly and inexplicably gone. Since I had turned five and started school, I always had friends to see everyday and plenty of people were engaged in my life. Then, suddenly after graduating, I was by myself not just in assuming more responsibility but literally by myself in a brand new city where I didn't know anyone and no one cared. No sports teams to bring my neighbors and myself together. No common classes or professors or campus to bond over. All of the relationships that I had invested so much in were now long-distance and there weren't easy ways of forming new relationships. It made me look back over my college experience (and up until then, I only had positive memories of it) and doubt whether I had done it all "wrong." Ugh. It was just such a crappy experience. Mine was also intensely magnified by the realization that I had not chosen the right field, and it wasn't easy to maneuver myself out.

I put a lot of stress on pathfinding, but I feel like I might still get it wrong since I believe life can only be lived forwards, but only understood backwards!

 

[Mole]

We are meaning creating animals, and we create meaning from our environment.

So if we live in a shallow, impoverished environment, we create shallow impoverished meaning.

Our environment is popular culture which is manufactured for the lowest common denominator. In other words, popular culture is shallow and impoverished.

So we are meaning creating animals dependent on a shallow and impoverished culture. But we are in a real bind because our environment is invisible to us. In other words, we take our shallow and impoverished environment for granted, and can't see beyond the horizon for anything richer and deeper.

And then we identify with our environment, and without a shallow and impoverished environment, we wouldn't know who we are.