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[INFJ] The INFJ Appreciation Thread

Forever_Jung

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I'm terrible at starting and maintaining threads, but I just feel like the INFJ's on this forum could use some smilies! All types are welcome to comment, of course.

Here are the two main guidelines:

1. Say something nice about INFJ's either in general, or even boil it down to something great about a specific INFJ you know. If you are an INFJ, you also have the option of saying why you personally like being an INFJ. Don't be modest, now!

2. Let's not say anything about all that junk before. We have plenty of threads that cover unhealthy "INFJ's". Let's make this a positive thread.

I will begin:

I often find myself awestruck by the insights presented by some of our INFJ posters here. If I'm skimming down a long thread, and see avatars/usernames of certain INFJ's, I will immediately stop and read what they have to say very closely (there's a whole bunch of you guys, but off the top of my head Z Buck McFate, cafe, Fidelia, Fia, Titltyred, SilkRoad, Vasilisa, the state i am in come to mind.).

On an IRL level, I went to school with this girl who was INFJ, and I admit she seemed slightly haughty at first, but when I got to know her, I realized she was just a very earnest, caring person, who had to keep her distance emotionally because she gets so easily absorbed in everyone's troubles. She was a fascinating person to talk to and an amazing poet to boot! I also would never have graduated high school without her assistance in grade 12.

God, I hope this thread isn't seen as condescending...I just think it's a nice idea.
 

RaptorWizard

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The active members on my friends list who are pretty certainly supposed to be INFJs are as follows:
[MENTION=6336]AphroditeGoneAwry[/MENTION] [MENTION=16382]Ene[/MENTION] [MENTION=17164]iNtrovert[/MENTION] [MENTION=5159]Lexicon[/MENTION] [MENTION=6163]ReadingRainbows[/MENTION] [MENTION=6275]the state i am in[/MENTION] [MENTION=9273]Vasilisa[/MENTION]

From what I can recall, the 7 of them seem to be a good mix of fairly open and agreeable people who use introspective contemplation.
Rainbows and Lex though might be more confrontational at certain times than the others seem to be.
Ene I would think is also pretty far on the spiritual spectrum (like many INFJs, but also more so than many).

If you want to tag people [MENTION=7040]Forever_Jung[/MENTION], just use the @ symbol in front of a user's name.
 

Lexicon

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Rainbows and Lex though might be more confrontational at certain times than the others seem to be.

Who u callin' confrontational?

tumblr_inline_mnbkzraFuh1qz4rgp.jpg
 

RaptorWizard

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Who u callin' confrontational?

tumblr_inline_mnbkzraFuh1qz4rgp.jpg

For one thing, you are showing that confrontational side of yourself right now at this very moment!
I myself am a very confrontational person. I think it's important for people to challenge things and revolutionize their previous designs. That's how things will evolve and why there's hope.
 

Lexicon

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For one thing, you are showing that confrontational side of yourself right now at this very moment!
I myself am a very confrontational person. I think it's important for people to challenge things and revolutionize their previous designs. That's how things will evolve and why there's hope.

*puts gun away & wipes off Robert Downey Jr. makeup*

I'll let it go.. this time.
 
W

WALMART

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They are able to articulate their thoughts about a subject better than most.

Not afraid of saying what should be said.

Can really dig deep into a topic.
 

Malkavia

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INFJs are frigin incredible. They really are the best counselors.

When I first moved to NYC I ended up talking to this Mennonite woman randomly. She ended up being one of the most influential people of my life at that time. Really helped me go on a deep journey into myself. She was able to articulate what I was feeling in ways I never could. She opened up my mind to some skills and talents I never noticed I have. And all this was done over cups of coffee!

Ever since then I've loved them. :)
 
S

Society

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well, i suppose its a good as a place to thank a few of those here who's often vulnerable and revealing words i've found helpful in deciphering and gaining a better understanding of the oddest human variables to have gained power within my life, and in the process helped clear a lot of the smoke from the map i have to navigate:
@Vasilisa
@fia
@cafe
@hazelsees
@Lexicon

somewhat less wittingly but worth mentioning:
@the state i am in
@Sinmara
@Maddy
@Titltyred
@fidelia

you have all being immensely helpful. thank you.
 

Forever_Jung

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well, i suppose its a good as a place to thank a few of those here who's often vulnerable and revealing words i've found helpful in deciphering and gaining a better understanding of the oddest human variables to have gained power within my life, and in the process helped clear a lot of the smoke from the map i have to navigate:
@Vasilisa
@fia
@cafe
@hazelsees
@Lexicon

somewhat less wittingly but worth mentioning:
@the state i am in
@Sinmara
@Maddy
@Titltyred
@fidelia

you have all being immensely helpful. thank you.

I didn't realize your user title meant you slay them with your gratitude! I misjudged you ;)

Edit: Also, good stuff everyone!
 

Siúil a Rúin

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I love the INFJs here that I know on this forum for having a high level of conscientiousness in understanding people, emotions, and subjective systems. I've made several friends here who have been consistently kind to me and never judgmental even when their personal values are different from mine. There are also new ones here I have recently interacted with that I look forward to knowing better.
 

iNtrovert

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[MENTION=15371]Poimandres[/MENTION]....thanks for the tag I most deff feel appricated :wubbie:. I wish I knew more infj's outside type-c. That being said [MENTION=4]cafe[/MENTION] and [MENTION=5723]Tiltyred[/MENTION] are 2 of my fav infj's here.They give off this stern yet caring vibe in their responses that I really admire.
 

AaminaFlower

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I appreciate INFJ's for being warm and affirming when I ramble on about my hobbies or theoretical concepts that don't directly involve feelings. Sometimes too nice to my face - while I ramble on - to later realize by a third party that my ramblings were neither educational, nor interesting. That is humiliating for me (at first), but I understand and I appreciate INFJ's for listening. :nerd:
 

Siúil a Rúin

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I know two guy musicians irl that I think are INFJs. One has a group I'll be playing with and he is definitely an INF, but I think he is a J because of some aspects of his lyrics and he is very organized and gets scores and everything to people right away. He plans really well and his lyrics sound like he is trying to create a coherent world view out of the chaos. Both of these people have a demeanor similar to mine and seem quite kind to everyone.

I have a couple of INFP female friends, and one possible INFJ, but when I talk to her it feels like she oscillates between ISFJ and INFJ, and I adore her. She is more concrete than I am, but more intelligent and trained in the sciences and psychology.
 

Qlip

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I think the best thing about INFJs is that they actually listen to you and are interested in you. It's amazing how many people out there don't care enough to ask you how you are doing, or what you are up to and are only waiting for their turn to talk. I like to be sure to return the favor.
 
S

Society

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this thread is an interesting concept isn't it?
a thread whose entire goal to make people feel better about themselves...

i'm trying to imagine how i would react to an entp variation of it, and i think it would mostly make me uncomfortable - it would feel like there's something inherently disingenuous about it - it's like "you'll do well" before an interview or "everything will be alright" after something goes wrong... the apparent goal of such situations clearly isn't to make an assessment - such as how likely you are to do well on the interview or how likely are things to get better after a tragedy - but rather it's to simulate the emotional impact such an assessment would have. it might be true or it might not be true, but the motive is clearly independent of the need for that - i can appreciate the thought but i immediately become suspicious of the content.

maybe mistakenly - i somewhat attribute this understanding with my Fe - so i am trying to understand why is such feedback digested so differently, positively and at ease by the FJs here so far (who from my experience tend to have a better awareness of such social dynamics then i do).
 

Siúil a Rúin

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this thread is an interesting concept isn't it?
a thread whose entire goal to make people feel better about themselves...

i'm trying to imagine how i would react to an entp variation of it, and i think it would mostly make me uncomfortable - it would feel like there's something inherently disingenuous about it - it's like "you'll do well" before an interview or "everything will be alright" after something goes wrong... the apparent goal of such situations clearly isn't to make an assessment - such as how likely you are to do well on the interview or how likely are things to get better after a tragedy - but rather it's to simulate the emotional impact such an assessment would have. it might be true or it might not be true, but the motive is clearly independent of the need for that - i can appreciate the thought but i immediately become suspicious of the content.

maybe mistakenly - i somewhat attribute this understanding with my Fe - so i am trying to understand why is such feedback digested so differently, positively and at ease by the FJs here so far (who from my experience tend to have a better awareness of such social dynamics then i do).
Why should praise be any less genuine than criticism? I have noticed that there is a cultural trend to be suspicious of praise as though it is white washing the truth. This might come as a reaction against the Cold War time period in which there was a lot of propaganda in which anything was made to look good no matter how destructive or false. I find that there are positives and negatives, but many people tend to be more aware of the negatives, so even though it may be Fe, I don't see a positive statement as being any more potentially false than a negative one, since both can be used to manipulate. I've more often been manipulated through negative comments and extremely general praise. I've noticed that false praise and destructive criticism are both lacking specificity and are often over-stated. The false praise tends to be "You're so talented", but what does that mean? These tend to be phrases that are used with anyone, and lack individuality. The same is true of non-constructive criticism. Although, that isn't to make people worry if they word their comments specifically enough. I tend to assume the motivation is good unless there emerges a pattern of intentional harm, then I will dismiss the praise as not meaning anything if not attached to an action to validate it. Not sure if that makes sense.

As a teacher, I tend to praise people a great deal, although I have to provide constructive criticism as well. I usually focus on reinforcing as much of the positive as possible, and the negative is specific and accompanied by steps to correct the problem. I've also noticed that failures and wrong answers are often mostly correct, but just missed a step or two. To identify everything that is right and positive, people can feel some strength that they can make progress as a person.
 

Forever_Jung

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i'm trying to imagine how i would react to an entp variation of it, and i think it would mostly make me uncomfortable - it would feel like there's something inherently disingenuous about it - it's like "you'll do well" before an interview or "everything will be alright" after something goes wrong... the apparent goal of such situations clearly isn't to make an assessment - such as how likely you are to do well on the interview or how likely are things to get better after a tragedy - but rather it's to simulate the emotional impact such an assessment would have. it might be true or it might not be true, but the motive is clearly independent of the need for that - i can appreciate the thought but i immediately become suspicious of the content.

Yes, it did occur to me that people might interpret this as overidealization, condescension, mindless feel-good blather.

I admit the goal at rock bottom ISN'T to make a complete assessment of INFJ's, I specifically asked for positive answers. That being said, I did ask for specific, positive things, and I wanted them to be true. The only reason I tried to preclude any negative feedback was because I felt that there had been plenty contributed about the negative side of INFJ's. We have already heard plenty of "I dated an INFJ and she used her psychic powers to manipulate me, blah, blah, blah".

This thread isn't about making soothing statements that have no basis in reality. But I admit, I could have framed the OP better. I'm not coming across as detached or neutral, either. My praise wouldn't be scientifically valid, or whatever, since I admit I have an interest in people feeling good. But I hope you believe me when I say I am sincere. :)

I think the best thing about INFJs is that they actually listen to you and are interested in you. It's amazing how many people out there don't care enough to ask you how you are doing, or what you are up to and are only waiting for their turn to talk. I like to be sure to return the favor.

So true! I spend most of my days holding things in, or glossing over them humorously, because I know most people just aren't interested in what I REALLY want to say. To encounter people who are not only willing to listen, but will listen well (asking little questions here and there to clarify, demonstrating understanding of your internal landscape), is like finding an oasis in a conversational desert.

I know that INFJ's don't have a monopoly on that level of listening, but I find they tend to have a knack for it.
 
S

Society

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Why should praise be any less genuine than criticism? I have noticed that there is a cultural trend to be suspicious of praise as though it is white washing the truth.

i'm not sure that is the case in the first place - criticism recognized with the goal of discrediting is automatically targeted as a potential fallacy (looking to see if it criticizes a source rather than what is stated), and criticism with the goal of offended is largely viewed as bullying. this is also largely applicable to your cold war example, as actions done by the apposing side were reframed as negative to the extreme regardless of context - retaliations was framed as offense just as much as one's own offenses were reframed as liberation.

in either cases the goal isn't to describe things as accurate but to deliver an emotional impact a description would have if it was true (regardless if it is).
 

Siúil a Rúin

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i'm not sure that is the case in the first place - criticism recognized with the goal of discrediting is automatically targeted as a potential fallacy (looking to see if it criticizes a source rather than what is stated), and criticism with the goal of offended is largely viewed as bullying. this is also largely applicable to your cold war example, as actions done by the apposing side were reframed as negative to the extreme regardless of context - retaliations was framed as offense just as much as one's own offenses were reframed as liberation.

in either cases the goal isn't to describe things as accurate but to deliver an emotional impact a description would have if it was true (regardless if it is).
There is a way that praise can be used for exactly the same purpose as criticism - to reveal truth and accuracy. When I teach students, it is my job to correct their inaccuracies. What I have found is that the more you fixate on the inaccuracies, the more they do as well and it reinforces these. If you focus on what is being done correctly, then they focus on that and become more of that. Most errors are partly correct, and mistakes tend to be inconsistencies with correct execution. The same is true of a behavior. IF the behavior is a flaw, in most cases there are aspects to it that are beneficial, but either inconsistently performed or lacking in one step or layer.

For example, when a person exhibits elitist, snobby behavior, I can point out that negativity (and have), or I can see that there are standards that are being valued which may be a positive. If someone is extremely rude, critical, judgmental, they might be trying to get at the truth. That aspect of their behavior is a positive. A critique that only views the negative or only the positive implies that sort of generality that you are discussing. People aren't always aware of when they do something right, positive, helpful, etc., so it helps convey important information to communicate that. That way a person knows exactly what they are trying to do consistently. A person can say to someone "you need to do this..." a million times, but there is nothing more effective than pointing out when the person actually does it right because then they know precisely how it feels.
 
S

Society

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A critique that only views the negative or only the positive implies that sort of generality that you are discussing.

right, but isn't that the case here? it's specifically asking for the positive. it's not posing a question or asking for information/analysis/examples/experiences of anything in particular other than simply asking - "what information do you have on subject A which is positive?"

on a side note regarding teaching:
 
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