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[INFP] Common for other INFPs?

sleep

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I was wondering, do any other INFPs have the feeling that they are perfectly chill when alone, but when close friends show up, they turn boisterous and rude? Like a mask and a suit had suddenly been placed on them, and they were asked to do the chicken dance?
 

aeon

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I type as INFP, and I do not experience that.


cheers,
Ian
 

phoenix13

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I have an INFP friend that from time to time becomes a know-it-all smart-ass poop head who engages in constant one-up-manship. Probably insecurity + ESTJ shadow.

wait... "chicken dance"?
 

Geoff

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I was wondering, do any other INFPs have the feeling that they are perfectly chill when alone, but when close friends show up, they turn boisterous and rude? Like a mask and a suit had suddenly been placed on them, and they were asked to do the chicken dance?

Hmm... maybe you or the other INFPs who do this have an "SF" face.. so they turn into a kinda uncomfortably-not-very-good-at-it ESFP?
 

sleep

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Can you sort of explain your situation more?

Well it's a plain sort of situation. I only have three real friends (ENFP, INFP, and INTP respectively) and the ENFP and INTP are in a different social circle than the INFP, who I don't have this problem with. They're in a highschool and deal with a lot of people and of course the ENFP has many friends where the INTP has just a few more than myself, and so they have a very mainstream countenance to people. I'm homeschooled and partly public schooled, so I have had a lot of time to myself and I've cultivated a really odd way of acting. Well, around the ENFP and INTP I feel like I can't be myself really. I feel I can share my views easily, but if I chill out and stay quiet I feel I'll alienate them, seeing as I have been very loud and sarcastic and just an overall douche around them for the longest time. I'm pretty sure I'm just uncomfortable around them, but I've known them for a long time and they're cool people so I don't want to up and ditch them with a "YOU DON'T KNOW ME, DOGG." So, I just kind of play a fool around them and I was wondering if this had happened to anyone else.
 

placebo

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Nope. Sometimes I'm obnoxious, but that's just because I am, not because I'm trying to be something else. I'd hate to feel like I'm putting on an act for people... I think most INFPs strive to be their authentic self around others. At least if they're your 'friends' they should understand that you're not the same person all the time.
 

heart

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The only time I feel like I am putting on an act is when I am required to give out a lot of Fe. I always feel like it is wooden and fake coming from me and I cringe inside.
 

Orangey

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I was wondering, do any other INFPs have the feeling that they are perfectly chill when alone, but when close friends show up, they turn boisterous and rude? Like a mask and a suit had suddenly been placed on them, and they were asked to do the chicken dance?

I have done this but never with real friends. There is a strong probability that I am not INFP though.
 

scantilyclad

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I also don't experience this.




The only time I feel like I am putting on an act is when I am required to give out a lot of Fe. I always feel like it is wooden and fake coming from me and I cringe inside.

agreed.
 

sleep

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Hmm. Then I suppose my question is answered, and I have my solution. Thank you all so much for the input.
 

SquirrelTao

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I was wondering, do any other INFPs have the feeling that they are perfectly chill when alone, but when close friends show up, they turn boisterous and rude? Like a mask and a suit had suddenly been placed on them, and they were asked to do the chicken dance?

When I was younger, I used to have something similar happen when I was on a date. I wasn't boisterous and rude, exactly, but I was trying hard to be "wild". It was so important in the eighties hair band days to be "wild". I think it's natural to go through more identity confusion when you're young because you're experimenting with roles and identities. Don't beat yourself up over it.

People used to tell me to "be myself". But the problem was I didn't know what "myself" was, because I felt like I consisted of infinite potential. I was very adaptable and chameleon-like. The opposite of the people you meet in the workplace who are King or Queen of the Rut. They are so certain all the time, so full of confidence in everything including their own role and identity, because they have chosen to be a simple person living a simple life, just so that they can feel certain all the time of what to do, what to say, what to think and how to be.

The best advice I can give you is to take every opportunity, while you are young and not trapped, to seek out situations and people that are more congenial to you. Try not to waste a lot of time trying to fit in with people or places that are not congenial. That is, if you have that freedom and that luxury. If you're still in high school, you may not, but soon, you probably will.
 

sleep

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Well crap Tao, I think you just described me in 500 words or less. That's actually exactly how I've felt for two years.
 

GZA

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I have an INFP friend that from time to time becomes a know-it-all smart-ass poop head who engages in constant one-up-manship. Probably insecurity + ESTJ shadow.

wait... "chicken dance"?

Sounds like me when I have mild depression. He is probably pissed about something or just a little tense or stressed. Tell him to calm the hell down and sort his shit out next time he does that.

Anyway, on to the query...

I am sometimes rude or almost cocky in a (hopefully) obviously joking way, but thats just a part of my sense of humour, not someting I do out of social anxiety. I don't think I am much different from alone to social, except maybe thinking about different things.
 

phoenix13

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Hmm. Then I suppose my question is answered, and I have my solution. Thank you all so much for the input.

Hey! My question isn't answered! What is this "chicken dance"?!?!
 

sleep

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This.

You may remember it from, inexplicably, highschool dances and baseball games.
 

phoenix13

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Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, the chicken dance! I totally knew that... btw, where have you been this past month?! The insomnia's been KILLING me!
 

sleep

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Hanging out with all the other metaphors that are actually physical things.

The ocean says hello.
 

surgery

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I was wondering, do any other INFPs have the feeling that they are perfectly chill when alone, but when close friends show up, they turn boisterous and rude? Like a mask and a suit had suddenly been placed on them, and they were asked to do the chicken dance?

i can totally relate to this! there's an odd contrast between my "everyday", "chill" self and my more dominate side that usually shows around more docile feeling types, or people whom i know well. i can become startingly loud, sarcastic, bossy, distractable and "slap happy." most of it's all in good fun, though.
 
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