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[NF] NF and Sensuality+ low self-esteem

wedekit

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Nov 10, 2007
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694
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INFJ
In my early to mid teenage years I was prone to suicidal thoughts. I blame a combination of hormones and antidepressants. I would constantly think about how I was going to have to die, and I would contemplate whether living is even worth it. I was going to have to die and so were the people I loved. I thought that maybe if I killed myself then it would save me the trouble of losing the people I love most. After getting off of prozac the thoughts didn't go away, but they didn't draw the same reaction I had out of me. I promised myself I would live the happiest life I could with all the time I am allowed to live. I think ultimately what happened was that I had lost sight of the future. Viktor Frankl saw an individual losing sight of the future as giving up the will to live through his experiences in a concentration camp. I can say that I agree. At this point I have matured a lot and I understand the value of life. I wouldn't say that all NFs go through this, but I would say that it probably is very common among NFs.

A friend of mine killed himself a couple of years ago, and after seeing a church full of people crying over the closed casket of a 19 year old I understood even more why suicide can't be the answer.

I wouldn't say NFs are the most sensual; more like the most romantic, which is closely tied to sensuality I guess. Keirsey says that: "NFs can be deeply divided about their sexual feelings... They insist that sex must be an expression of love rather than lust." I personally agree with this, but I've heard from NFs that don't identify with that statement wholly. Sex with the absence of love is a waste of my time. However, if the "in love" criterion is met, I wouldn't underestimate how sensual an NF could be.
 

Other Moses

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Jun 23, 2008
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INFP
I've considered it. It's really sad. I hate the thought of anyone feeling that way, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. :hug:
 

anii

homo-loving sonovagun
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Jul 9, 2007
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I worry about an INFJ in my life becoming suicidal if I make a choice that hurts them, even if that is not my intention.

This worry stops me from making any choices.
 

bandit

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Jul 6, 2008
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INFJ
I'm not sure if I'm posting this under the right topic.

I'm very disappointed at the way my ISTJ dad patronises me to no end, til this day. He has said a lot of very, very nasty things, like how I should just be a 'mindless' office lady or a 'useless' clerk and that I'll never ever be successful or be a master of anything because of how stupid he thinks I am. There are plenty of other very horrible statements he's thrown at me over the years. He puts me down a lot. When I say 'a lot', I mean it's such a frequent treatment I receive from him that I've already learnt how to be so thick-skinned about it and push aside all feelings of self worthlessness, despair and anger of being treated this way.

This, according to my close friends, has definitely taken a toll on my self confidence. While I agree to that, I'll like to add that because of my dad, I've been able to develop my tertiary function, Ti. Before, just to avoid being 'stepped on' by my dad, I would try to think at least 2-3 steps ahead of him. Most of the times, by doing this, I would get away from being yelled at. Now, even if I'm 10 miles ahead of him, he still patronises me and condemns my intellectual abilities... It's degrading and demoralising. It used to upset me very much though. It still hurts getting called names and being put down this way, but now, I'm more able to perceive this on a more logical stand and think of ways to fix it, 'counter-attack' this ridiculous battle of egos instead of just moping and sobbing, feeling shamefully sorry for myself.

Well, at least I now know how not to be a parent, when I become one myself.

It takes him just a few minutes of negative statements but me, years to build back the self esteem I've lost. How selfish...

Edit: I know that not everyone ISTJ acts this way. I'm not prejudice towards ISTJs collectively in any way, whatsoever. I know they have very good qualities. There are many reasons why my dad acts the way he does towards me, so I understand. I do feel that I have a God forsaken right to be treated better. In coping with the stress involved and low self-esteem, I resorted to developing my T function.
 
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Lateralus

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May 18, 2007
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3w4
Do all NFs have suicidal thoughts. It seems that we're prone to that.
But ENFXs are confindent... well most are.
I've wondered what it would be like to die, but I've never actually contemplated suicide.

And I know a bunch of NFs who enjoy writing erotica, I myself for one. Are we also consider the most sensual types? I.E: Casanova (ENFJ), Gandi (INFJ, you should read his backround)
I could see SPs rivaling, probably surpassing, NFs when it comes to sensuality.

I don't like to write, in fact, I despise the fact that I'm even bothering to write this post. I'm going to go cut myself now.
 

bandit

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Jul 6, 2008
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I've wondered what it would be like to die, but I've never actually contemplated suicide.


I could see SPs rivaling, probably surpassing, NFs when it comes to sensuality.

I don't like to write, in fact, I despise the fact that I'm even bothering to write this post. I'm going to go cut myself now.
Getting back to the original topic...

Like Lateralus, I too have always wondered how would it be when I'm gone. The more I ponder on it, the more I feel I should be living more out of my life if I really want to leave a mark everyone who knows me will remember me by, for a long time. I hate the thought of being 'forgotten'. I was never really suicidal, not to that level.

I've recently kept a small journal, but I wouldn't write anything more but my progress in music. I hate keeping tabs (written diary) of all of my emotional burdens, imaginary stories, fantasies... It sickens me to read them back (because they always appear stupid after I've penned them down) so I will not write them.
 
P

Phantonym

Guest
Do all NFs have suicidal thoughts. It seems that we're prone to that.

I've struggled with periods of depression for all of my life. And yes, suicidal thoughts have crossed my mind. But ultimately, I agree with Peguy:
As I grow older, such thoughts become rarer. I honestly say that despite whatever troubles I face, I'm in love with life. Life is such a wonderful mystery, and suicide is just the cowards' way out.


Are we also consider the most sensual types?

If you say so :rolli:
 

BlueScreen

Fail 2.0
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Nov 8, 2008
Messages
2,668
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YMCA
I think it has nothing to do with being a coward. But I think suicide is a blind way out. What does non-existence achieve? And what sort of solution to a problem is that? It's like the ultimate fingers in the ears and "la la la...".
 

whimsical

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Feb 27, 2009
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I've had suicidal thoughts, yes.

And yes I am extremely sexy slash sensual
 

lumikuu

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Jun 22, 2009
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infj
i'm quite uncomfortable with my body so i would say i express my sensuality through imagining i'm someone else. i love watching contemporary dance, the sensuality is more subtle and carnally spiritual than more confronting art forms which sensationalise erotic gore.

yeah i would say i'm pretty tolerant of suicidal thoughts. without them my self-esteem would be worse cause i'd be ~a phoney coward~
i'm in my teens so it's not rare for me to feel ~depressed, misunderstood and stubborn~ about idealism and ~*emotional masochism*~

i've wanted to commit suicide to escape the responsibilities of life's demands after being drilled with the idea that i can't drop out of school or else i'd be struggling even more in the workforce. now i hate to believe it, but fear has gotten to me, i have to rely on some crappy system to get me an adequate income because i have little faith in myself to prove them wrong. the fact that this is how the world works doesn't make me feel very free apart from possessing the freedom we have to kill ourselves.

i mean i didn't choose to be born. suicide isn't anymore selfish than choosing to have kids to fill your lonely void, to assure your ego that your contribution still matters in this youth-obsessed society, so that you'll have someone to take care of you when you're older, or because you bought into the whole evolutionary sentiment about partially immortalising your genes. (adoption ftw)

sometimes it's frustrating to know i'm too afraid of going through the process of suicide. there are also metaphysical possibilities.. what if i'll just be reincarnated? i'm just as afraid of living goddamnit, but all it takes is some patience. thankfully we're all going to die someday so i don't have to invest too much in life.. got everything and nothing to lose if i just stick around for the curiosity. if we were all immortal i might've tried to kill myself earlier. :cheese:
 

entropie

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Dont take it personal, cause its just meant to help you; but have you considered taking psychological help ? I mean seeing a real shrink. Its pretty awesome I am visiting mine for like 4 years now and it really can help you
 

kyuuei

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Never experienced the suicidal tendencies. I think everyone has that teenage temper tantrum where they think their life has hit 'rock bottom' and whines about how everyone would be better off without them.. Then you watch It's a Wonderful Life and gtfover it. Beyond silly hormonal-driven tempers, suicide is the last thought in my mind. IMPO, it's the worst thing ever. Living life is my number one priority at all times.

I can't say I'm not a writer, but I don't actively write. I am a huge fan of erotica writings and such though, I think I am a highly sensual person, even if my sensuality is also my most personal side of me.
 

entropie

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Well you cant tell everyone that you are a highly sensual person and then say that its the most personal side of you. Thats like trieing to get the stalkers into the forbidden garden
 

tibby

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I have a hard time believing any healthy individual of any type would have suicidal tendencies.
 
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