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[Si] Si and hoarding

skylights

i love
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WTF is that ESTJ doing enabling her?? He needs to grow some balls Te.

/a little hyper, sorry :doh:

Lol, no worries. They have an adult son (xNFP) with mood disorders (bipolar and NOS) who requires a lot of their time and energy, and when he's in the mania phase of bipolar, he buys lots of trinkets, so some of it comes from there. The ESTJ himself is a techie, so he spends much of his time collecting new gadgets, and he's known for the pile of unopened gifts under his ping pong table since he's one of those people who literally "has everything". He's also very thrifty, and will buy lots of items in bulk to save money, which contributes. So the men in the house are the ones bringing new things in, and then the IxFP gets hyper-attached and doesn't want anything to go out. She's filled two and a half rooms upstairs in their house, but no food, nothing dirty, and relatively neat piles of things - just LOTS of things. About 6 months ago the ESTJ went through a bunch of the stuff and is still working on cleaning it out. But it's very hard - she's very stubborn and gets really attached... I assume she is INFP because it's such a Fi-Si kind of attachment. She breathes meaning into every object and artifact. A lot of the trinkets her NFP son buys are religious, so I think it's especially hard for her to let go of those, because she's very faithful. She's always had a soft spot for cute animals, too, so she really enjoys little figurines. She also had a knee replacement recently, which of course makes it much harder for her to do any major work. And they're getting towards their 80s. We would help them, but they live about 600 miles away. It's one of those situations that sounds easy to solve until you understand the details of the thing.

They're my grandparents, actually. :)

EJCC said:
Letting things pile up makes me madder and madder until the only way I can get rid of all that energy is by purging E V E R Y T H I N G .

Me too. Stuff accumulates and at some point EVERYTHING MUST GO. I try to be good and sort through it for the useful or donate-able things first, but sometimes I just purge and run. I tend to get lost in the details and memories if I sift too finely.
 

prplchknz

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my dad hoards old computers and electronics, that don't work and are 20 plus years outdated but eh you know. I'm like him in my rationale, I should save this because one day I'll do this with it, when in reality that's never going to happen. I am my dad's daughter. I think he's INTJ
 

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purging

Yeah, I admit I hoard a little. I just have difficulty throwing things away. I will keep something stupid and useless just in case I might need it some day. And it's pretty ridiculous what I think might be necessary - sometimes the apocalypse would be required to make that object useful.

I will also cop to attaching personal significance to objects. I sometimes even feel guilty about throwing certain things out because it's like I'm rejecting it. :blush: :laugh:

I do think it is tertiary or inferior Si, because the Si doms/aux in my family don't do it. My ESTJ sister has regular purges of possessions that I find to be brutal and ruthless. :D

I regularly purge objects or give them away or throw them away or sell them. It creates free space and its easy to clean the place, but I sometimes get rid of things that I need later, especially paperwork. I attach sentimental value to only a few things. I throw away some important telephone numbers in particular, because I dislike clutter.
 

Redbone

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I'll play. I can hoard things, too. Stupid stuff. I'm not having any more kids so why do I still have baby slings and wraps? Keys to cars that no longer exist. But it's also coupled with periodic, massive throw-it-all-away sprees. Everything must go! Fueled by a desire not let any possession possess me.

My INFP roommate and I were just discussing our hoarding habits and the possibility of an upcoming purge-o-rama. I think he's worse than I am with it. But at least he's not constantly buying stuff that's already here like I do... :doh:
 

highlander

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Whoa! I never thought about it before, but I know two INFP hoarders and one ENFP hoarder.

I know one ISFJ that is a hoarder and one ISFJ whose motto is, "When in doubt, throw it out." Not sure this has anything to do with type.
 

Tabula

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Worst I know is my ESFP sister, weirdly. I think her hoarding is a byproduct of her pace in life, though. "I don't wanna figure out if I really need this right now, so I'll just throw it over there and think about it later. That way, if I do need it, it's there; if I don't, I'm never here anyway so who cares?" Something like that. :laugh:

I used to be somewhat of a hoarder, myself. The piles of accumulated shit with sentimental value, I realized, really didn't mean anything in and of themselves, but were sort of functioning as a symbolic stabilizer-protector, and anchor to my past. Then there was the "I'll probably need this in some distant future time or place" shit. So my "Great Purge" was one part moving on with my life and one part getting rid of simply, utterly useless crap. I gave away, donated, and threw out basically everything I owned save for the essentials and a couple extras.
 

OrangeAppled

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I don't hoard. I don't like being bogged down by lots of stuff or the maintenance stuff requires. I don't get sentimental attachment to most objects, save the occasional piece of clothing I wear a lot.
My ISFJ mom tosses stuff ruthlessly.
My ISFP step-dad likely would be a hoarder if not for my mom (and this is a source of contention for them).

It's tiring to see negative qualities tossed at Si & Fi without any real connection between them & the theory, yet criticisms of other types taken directly from their type descriptions are protested against as being unfair. Si collecting is more of an example of how a mentality can play out. Collecting is not hoarding. I can't remotely see how this connects to Fi - and if someone says "personal values" then I really know they don't have a clue what Fi even is.
 

Lexicon

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I know an ESFJ hoarder, I know [of] another ESFJ hoarder, as well. My mother could be a hoarder (ISFJ) if she weren't such a neat freak. She owns copious amounts of utter useless shit. "It could be WORTH MONEY someday!" (no, it won't, crazy lady)- "xxxxx GAVE it to ME [insert sentimental story]" (I go on mental autopilot, here). My ESFP aunt is a hoarder. ISTJ aunt keeps her house in pristine order with no superfluous items to speak of- & I've heard this of a friend's ISTJ mother, as well. My ISFP stepfather has this cache of flashlights (no idea why, just his "thing," - he really hates not having one I guess) - & a few shelves worth of old CBs / ham radios/ parts that he might tinker with/sell from time to time. He rarely sells them though, & that was the point of collecting them to begin with. Or so he claims.

Not sure if Si/Fi have much to do with it. Given my small sampling, it seems like it's got more to do with who has a higher propensity to give in to compulsions/gets overly attached to things/gets overwhelmed by how much crap they own & the prospect of sorting it is too daunting even to consider beyond transient thought. Psych/behavioral issues aren't related to typology at all, imo. Just illustrated differently based on type.



Personally, I try to keep my belongings at a minimum. I do have some items that are of sentimental value (things my now deceased father & brother gave to me/left to me)- but even those I've whittled down, & about 99.9% of it has some day-to-day functionality to it (all right- the dingy pink bear in my bed isn't exactly functional beyond the realm of feelings, but.. let's overlook him, ok? k). Examples include a hideous piggypank my bro got me after breaking into my old standard one when we were kids- it holds a good amt of change (it's almost FULL! *feels rich*). His military issue all-weather jacket (I didn't have a rain-coat before this, now I do). My dad's belt buckles. This neat little brass USN submarine shaped pencil sharpener- I use for makeup pencils, haha. If it has 0 utility beyond my own emotional attachment- it's been given to other relatives/donated already (except for the bear- but we've agreed to leave him out of this, right?).

However, if it were up to my mom, it'd all be gathering dust in shadow boxes, never again to be touched by human hands- only to be gazed upon with nostalgia for what once was. Romantic little glass caskets on the wall. Or buried in the cellar- containers likely to be left unopened henceforth. Shallow graves of days past. She does (at the very least) know I can't live like that, & the previous owners had it all because they used it for some period of time. So, I prefer to actually use the things I need, & feel comfort/happiness when it's something that was theirs. I can't clutter my life with all of someone else's stuff- though admittedly it was initially very hard to throw certain things away years ago; few sparse remaining items- bits of their handwriting on it. Old post-its or whathaveyou. Their font's almost an echo, I dunno. Voices on paper. But you can't keep it all, so I tried to be pragmatic about it, & I have no regrets. If it was all just ...still here.. at that point it'd only serve to amplify the fact that they're no longer present to use these things anymore. Needless pain. Life is now, so I keep what's got purpose now, & I sort of get to "keep their memory alive" (I hate that canned phrase but I can't sum it up another way, atm) in those little things, that way. I'd be sad if these items were lost/stolen/destroyed, but I'd get over it. The worst already happened.

Whatever the motivation, hanging on too hard just weighs you down.
 

Cellmold

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You may be onto something Diz. My ISTJ brother in law hoards money. Hes one of the richest guys in a small town, but lives in a small house and drives an old car.

I think they call that a miser. Just ask Scrooge.

I myself don't hoard anything if I can help it. Although stuff does build up in my room, after a few weeks I go into frenzy mode and clean it again, then it's given a few more weeks before the pattern begins anew.

I am so guilty of this. :laugh: Letting things pile up makes me madder and madder until the only way I can get rid of all that energy is by purging E V E R Y T H I N G .

You sound just like my dad. It builds up and up and then BAM he goes mental and everything is being thrown out....sometimes through the window, but he has got better and less temperamental with age.
 

pinkgraffiti

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I don't hoard. I don't like being bogged down by lots of stuff or the maintenance stuff requires. I don't get sentimental attachment to most objects, save the occasional piece of clothing I wear a lot.
My ISFJ mom tosses stuff ruthlessly.
My ISFP step-dad likely would be a hoarder if not for my mom (and this is a source of contention for them).

It's tiring to see negative qualities tossed at Si & Fi without any real connection between them & the theory, yet criticisms of other types taken directly from their type descriptions are protested against as being unfair. Si collecting is more of an example of how a mentality can play out. Collecting is not hoarding. I can't remotely see how this connects to Fi - and if someone says "personal values" then I really know they don't have a clue what Fi even is.

Yes. I don't hoard. I like simplicity and feeling that my house is minimal therefore I can feel free to move when I want. My INFP gf also doesn't hoard.
I read once that Se types tend to go for complexity and Si types for minimalism. I don't know if that could explain something...
 

gromit

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My mom is a hoarder. I am really unsure of her type. I think she could be INFP or ISFP or ISFJ. Any of those. She is a mystery, keeps a lot inside of her though.

Anyway, she is very sentimental about EVERYTHING. She loves having the tangible reminders of what has happened, of happy memories, of people who are gone. Mostly it is sweet, she gets choked up sometimes even looking at a photo of us as children or something. But there are times it can be exasperating too. She also keeps a lot of stuff "just in case" - she can imagine a lot of uses for things most people would consider junk. She is very innovative and very thrifty. She tends to pay very little, if anything, for what she has acquired. But it becomes trouble when she saves way more of something than she needs/uses and it makes cabinets or drawers hard to open or hard to access. Another trait that is common to hoarders is difficulty in making decisions. I think it is because she sees so many options for things, and it's difficult for her to weigh which pots or pans (for example) she truly wants to keep, since there are situations where each pot is ideally suited. But the number of pots she owns way exceeds the number of pots which would be reasonably useful.

She feels a lot better getting rid of stuff if it goes to people who will use it. If she donates it to a charity or gives it to a friend or a friend of a friend in who can use it, that reassures her. She likes imagining the "new" owners using the item. I think she is also okay with recycling, if it's something truly useless or irreparable, but even that can be hard.
 

OrangeAppled

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^ My ESFJ grandma is like that as far as hanging onto objects she doesn't really need, being sentimental about stuff (she has family photos & albums everywhere, dumb trinket gifts from friends decades old on display, a garage packed with stuff she never uses, etc), and finding it hard to part with the most trivial things, but feeling better about it if sold at a yard sale or donated.

Some of it is about MONEY for her too though. She seems to remember what she paid for everything & she can't stand to part with something for free (hence the yard sales). Throwing something out is almost inconceivable to her. It's embarrassing what she gives people because she thinks it's still "usable".

My mom attributes this to her growing up poor, but I don't think that's all of it.
 

Thursday

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Yes and yes. While I keep my surroundings quite spartan, I hoard pictures and links and the like.
 

gromit

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^ My ESFJ grandma is like that as far as hanging onto objects she doesn't really need, being sentimental about stuff (she has family photos & albums everywhere, dumb trinket gifts from friends decades old on display, a garage packed with stuff she never uses, etc), and finding it hard to part with the most trivial things, but feeling better about it if sold at a yard sale or donated.

Some of it is about MONEY for her too though. She seems to remember what she paid for everything & she can't stand to part with something for free (hence the yard sales). Throwing something out is almost inconceivable to her. It's embarrassing what she gives people because she thinks it's still "usable".

My mom attributes this to her growing up poor, but I don't think that's all of it.

Yes my mom is the same, remembering the prices of things. She also grew up very working-class, they had to make do a lot with what they could grow, make, reuse, hunt themselves. But, like you say, that can't be the whole of it.

Does anybody else feel that they might have the potential to become hoarders themselves? I sometimes freak out when I start getting sentimental about stuff or feel like things are getting too cluttered or full. Go through and get rid of as much as I can. Possibly overkill. But I love to have functional spaces, not overflowing ones. It's starting to become more of an automatic, regular process that is part of my day-to-day habits rather than distinct dramatic episodes.
 

OrangeAppled

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^ I dont fear some inner hoarder. The tendency to not want too much stuff hanging around partly comes from knowing I don't manage stuff well, that I am disorganized & messy & leave stuff out all over the place. Everything needs to be functional & used somewhat frequently/recently then or else it's just adding to mess.

I LOVE when things double as accessible storage. When you have a ton of accessible storage, it is easier to put things away because you don't have to organize & maximize space to fit it all; you can just shove it in there & it's easy to access later still. I seek to make my environment efficient in allowing me to be somewhat lazy :p

For instance, I know I will never line up my shoes neatly on shelf in a closet. So I keep big plastic bins on wheels under my bed. So when I kick my shoes off under my bed, they are put away! Then to get a pair, I just pull the bin out & rummage through it.

However, because aesthetics are important to me, including the mood of an atmosphere, I also like all visible functional things to be pretty :D .
 

gromit

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Yes! Functional, easy to use, and aesthetic. That is how I like my home and my organization.
 

Standuble

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This thread strikes me as tl;dr so I won't comment on it but you're talking about FiSiTe (lots of sentimental value attachment to nostalgic items with a weak external organiser tp sort through and eliminate it. The key variable would be inferior Je and not Si.
 

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Maybe a potential misuse of Si, as all of the functions can be misused, this is actual hoarding, rather than just being a packrat.
This thread strikes me as tl;dr so I won't comment on it but you're talking about FiSiTe (lots of sentimental value attachment to nostalgic items with a weak external organiser tp sort through and eliminate it. The key variable would be inferior Je and not Si.
 
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