• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[MBTI General] Dating your own type.

Porcelain Hearts

New member
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
167
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
Is it wrong to figure most NFs have at one point or another, given our intuitive nature and propensity to inspire each other?

I often hear about high return but high sacrifice as well. I've had my own experiences, but I'd like to hear others to see if I can relate to their stories. Perhaps share the enneagram type so I can understand where it's coming from.

I feel as if we reveal so much truth in the human condition through loss and fulfillment for the NF. It's almost inevitable we may create "ideal" situations just to prove our depth with one another ... wow, or maybe it's just my 4 speaking ... :(
 

Lexicon

Temporal Mechanic
Staff member
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
12,342
MBTI Type
JINX
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Closest I came to that was an ENFJ (don't know his enneagram) almost a decade ago. Finding ourselves, sharing ideals & passions, etc. Didn't end well [didn't help that he's a diagnosed sociopath, either, haha].
Either way.. dating NFs. Never again.

Feelers just don't do it for me. 0 chemistry. Friend NF's are wonderful. Intimacy beyond that.. with any Feeler, for that matter, exhausts me. Bores me.

Contrast-- for me, at least-- adds more dimension in terms of self/mutual exploration.. pushing boundaries. Overall, more space for growth. Somehow a closer bond.
 

highlander

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
26,562
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I am thinking it would be awful.
 

iNtrovert

New member
Joined
Nov 28, 2012
Messages
359
MBTI Type
Ni
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I dated an ENFP once..never again.There were tons of love letters and mushy text messaged exchanged but when it got right down to it there was no substance for lack of a better word. In the end he just got on my nerves. It was too much of a good thing. It was very surface level and superficial in hind sight. We idealized each other that we never really established a real connection. Then we just got bored of each other and because we didn't bond like we should have we quickly grew apart. Dating another NF in theory is nice but I find it difficult to cut through the mush and Really get close to them.The most fulfilling relationships I have ever had have been with NT's. My current bf is an NT.We have a depth to our relationship that I never had with the NF I dated. I feel that NF's enjoy the infatuation stage of a relationship so much that we have a tendency to prolong it. That desire to continue to be in a state of a romantic bliss left unchecked can keep us from forming a lasting connection. (might just be speaking for myself here that's just been my experience).
 

Azure Flame

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 26, 2010
Messages
2,317
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
8w7
I met a girl who was exactly like me. I'm talking, EXACTLY like me. Same music. Same stoic attitude. Same hatred for mankind. EXACT SAME TASTE IN MUSIC.

The experience was more eerie than anything. It kinda felt like... what's the point? There's nothing new to learn. I felt like I was looking at myself from a parallel universe. I was creeped out.

I can't date that shit. Whenever I lift up a hand, she does too. That kinda thing. Didn't feel like I was speaking to another human, I was just talking to myself in the mirror.
 

hazelsees

Member
Joined
Feb 1, 2013
Messages
124
MBTI Type
INFJ
Is it wrong to figure most NFs have at one point or another, given our intuitive nature and propensity to inspire each other?

I often hear about high return but high sacrifice as well. I've had my own experiences, but I'd like to hear others to see if I can relate to their stories. Perhaps share the enneagram type so I can understand where it's coming from.

I feel as if we reveal so much truth in the human condition through loss and fulfillment for the NF. It's almost inevitable we may create "ideal" situations just to prove our depth with one another ... wow, or maybe it's just my 4 speaking ... :(

I'm not even sure what you're saying here....but it sounds so sexy. Or maybe it's just late.

Anyway...I have a close male friend who is INFJ--he's probably my best friend. To think of him romantically is a little sickening...and weird. Although I love him deeply and dearly.
 

justwannabeMe

New member
Joined
May 1, 2013
Messages
88
MBTI Type
iNfj
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I likely could Never do it. I have never met an INFJ I found the least bit romantically attractive. I have never met an NF I have found attractive. I don't think I have ever been attracted to a 'F'eeling type, come to think of it. ... yuck. Friendship - yes. but not dating. no way. also, I find men who are overly demonstrative to be repulsive. Sometimes my husbands Fe annoys me; though years ago when I was more insecure I suppose I liked it. not that INFJ's are particularly demonstrative, but ... that is just unattractive to me in general. Though I do appreciate a well of depth and feeling, and they need to be capable of love.

I have dated, or been attracted to, a few ISTP's and ESTP's. I once briefly dated an ESFJ guy, pitty dating (I was young and didn't want to be mean) - it didn't last long; very unattractive to me.

The only guys I have ever actually really, really, really wanted have been INTJ's or ENTP's. Really NT's are what catch my attention, but INTP's don't usually quite do it for me; though they can make great friends. And I have never -ever- found an ENTJ attractive; for some reason total turn off - though, again I have ENTJ friends/family I love.

So, the conclusion is ~ They have to be NT. and they have to be a dominant N. ... come to think of it ~ I have been head-over-heels in love with 2 INTJs. though I did marry an ENTP, but he persued me quite a bit first.

I did meet an INTJ who I felt was enough of a mirror of me to be kindred-spirit-soul-mate-sparkly-sorta-material (similar manuerisms, similar facial expressions, same-way-of-talking. same humor. sorta; just some similarities) ... but then he was different enough to be overwhelmingly intriguing and anything but boring. That was attractive.



Question for other INFJ's, or anyone I guess ~

How many of you would identify as sapiosexual?
http://www.unwords.com/unword/sapiosexuality.html

^ I am.

I think this is why I find myself attracted to type 5's; not that other types can't be cerebral. but, you know.
especially 5w4's. especially sx's.


But. yeah. I have never found an INFJ I was attracted to.
Once, I chatted online with a man about my age, same exact typology - INFJ 9w8 sx/sp 974. and ... it was so boring. it petered out. we agreed on everything. so just kinda stopped talking...



slightly :offtopic: & possibly an over-share :)
If I had to pick a "cartoon crush" it would be Steve from Arthur Christmas. I think he is likely an INTJ, no? :wubbie:

FTW http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LutTTa8aKEo


EDIT: ... I have found an ISFP male attractive before. so I guess I have found a F to date-able. #LiarLiarPantsOnFire ^^
 

iNtrovert

New member
Joined
Nov 28, 2012
Messages
359
MBTI Type
Ni
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I did meet an INTJ who I felt was enough of a mirror of me to be kindred-spirit-soul-mate-sparkly-sorta-material (similar manuerisms, similar facial expressions, same-way-of-talking. same humor. sorta; just some similarities) ... but then he was different enough to be overwhelmingly intriguing and anything but boring. That was attractive.

Question for other INFJ's, or anyone I guess ~

How many of you would identify as sapiosexual
http://www.unwords.com/unword/sapiosexuality.html


The bold described how I felt when I met my current boyfriend. I just got chills reading that. Anyway I am VERY attracted to intelligence. It's even better when the guy in question is really proficient in something I am horrible at.
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
If I happen to date another ENFJ, it would probably be an e3 (I really seem attracted to Fe with e3) or e8.
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
I might have fucked an INFP, but never got to the point of figuring out his type for sure. WOuld I date an INFP most likely not, fuck them? yeah why not if they're good in bed.
 

mintleaf

Member
Joined
Jan 2, 2013
Messages
505
MBTI Type
infp
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp
sounds like an awful idea, if only because I just searched "famous INFJs" and shuddered/gagged. (maybe I'm not an INFJ at all?) the only NF I would date is INFP. but I don't know, really. just a gut reaction.

I've never been close to any Thinkers, and I'm extremely emotional myself, so the thought of intimacy with someone to whom feeling is secondary scares me. I'm afraid that I would feel isolated. hard to say, though. I guess I'll see.
 

Nicki

Retired
Joined
Jun 26, 2010
Messages
1,505
I would date an ENFJ 2 and make that person become my servant!
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
I think I'm better off with a T because they feel soothing to me.
 

justwannabeMe

New member
Joined
May 1, 2013
Messages
88
MBTI Type
iNfj
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I might have fucked an INFP, but never got to the point of figuring out his type for sure. WOuld I date an INFP most likely not, fuck them? yeah why not if they're good in bed.

Ha ha ha. prpl ! of course type doesn't matter for casual sex. ... right?

Theres a question ~ for anyone ~ is there any Type you would not casually sleep with specifically due to their type? :D
 

justwannabeMe

New member
Joined
May 1, 2013
Messages
88
MBTI Type
iNfj
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
The bold described how I felt when I met my current boyfriend. I just got chills reading that. Anyway I am VERY attracted to intelligence. It's even better when the guy in question is really proficient in something I am horrible at.

thats awesome :) what is your boyfriends type? do you have the same instinctual stacking by chance? I have found that to yeild similar manuerisms, esp. if the dom func is the same. just from my limited personal experience

I am so attracted to intelligence, too. yeaaah !
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
it can be soothing :yes:
... as long as you're sure they love you I guess :)
God, you'd have to love me to put up with me for very long. And be a little bit of a masochist.
 

iNtrovert

New member
Joined
Nov 28, 2012
Messages
359
MBTI Type
Ni
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
thats awesome :) what is your boyfriends type? do you have the same instinctual stacking by chance? I have found that to yeild similar manuerisms, esp. if the dom func is the same. just from my limited personal experience

I am so attracted to intelligence, too. yeaaah !

He's an INTJ and we are very much alike in some ways. I'm not sure if we share mannerisms. I'm really not sure what my own mannerisms look like but we do share the same thought process, manner of speaking and sense of humor. The first day we met we didn't finish each others sentences; we spoke in unison. One of the first times we hung out together we sarcastically blurted out the same joke. It happened several more time so we decided to explain our thought process to each other and found out that we followed the same train of thought.We also have some freaky childhood correlations. We are a lot alike at times but the more we got to know each other we realized we were very different in some ways.
 
Top